My sister-in-law is due to give birth around the 15th of the month, and the whole family is gearing up with anticipation. Well, sort of. See...

My parents and sister are booking airline tickets and accommodations. They've sent care packages and gifts. They have been on the phone with both my brother and sister-in-law daily.

Meanwhile, here at the Circus, I've been sitting around with my finger up my nose waiting for a magical good time to appear to do something. Anything.

I've often joked that I'm really glad I didn't have a blog when I was pregnant or parenting a newborn. The syrupy, flowery descriptions of diaper changing and baby milestones that I wrote in my oldest's baby book are fading already, due to my use of hot-purple ink, but believe you me, they are a masterwork of OMG MY BAAAAYBEEEE. I really should transcribe them here so I can annotate and mock my n00b mama-self.

The fact is, my youngest was already well on her way to toddlerdom before I got hip to the world of blogging. I was already fairly worldly in the trials of parenting young babies, and could change a diaper faster than a pit crew changes a tire at the Indianapolis 500, all while talking on the phone, stirring a pot on the stove and coaxing a kid or two down off of the roof.

And although I am pretty much serious about being glad that I didn't have a blog in those days, I want to take a few minutes to share what I learned in those early days, in the interest of sisterly advice.

1) When you are learning to breastfeed, have a lactation consultant on standby, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Remember both you and the baby are figuring this out and your boobs are probably going to be bigger than your baby's head.

2) The whole sleep when your baby sleeps thing is a nice idea, but you also need to sleep when the baby is NOT sleeping sometimes - let other people help you get the rest you need in the weeks following the birth. Let your body heal. Also? Tuck's medicated pads in the fridge. You'll thank me later.

3) Eat when the baby eats. Seriously, the best gift EVER was a basket of single-serving, ready-to-eat snacks and fresh fruit and water bottles. Put some by your bed, by your rocking chair, any place where you'll be sitting down to nurse the baby. Things you can eat one-handed like energy bars and dried fruit and nuts are great. Drink lots of water, too.

4) Nothing will prepare you for trying to scrub that black tar poop off. Dude. Good luck. Try a wet washcloth. And just know that eventually you'll move on to even weirder poo. The first time you find yourself with a newborn sporting poop from knees to neck, just walk straight to the sink. In this situation, baby wipes are like bringing a knife to a gun fight.

5) Babies do a lot of growing in the first year. Just when you think they've settled into a routine, they get out of sorts due to growing an inch overnight or getting ready to master one of those skills I used to gush about in purple pen. Growth spurts or learning new skills basically equals one wide awake, cranky baby for about a week. Sorry about that. Know that it ends, and once they've mastered whatever the hell it is, they will sleep like a log for a few days.

6) Find your tribe. It can be hard when your peer group is small or you are the only one in your group of friends to be having a baby. The message boards (now defunct) over at One Hot Mama brought me some of my best mama friends, and gave me a sounding board where I could learn how to parent from women who were right there in the trenches with me. I know playgroups and IRL friendships are invaluable, but honestly, the women who taught me the most about parenting in this day and age have been fellow online moms.

7) You will do it wrong, but that's okay. From the moment I brought home my oldest, she was convinced that she was sent home with the two stupidest humans on the planet. I swear, even at 2 weeks old she was rolling her eyes at me. Maybe that's because her eyes were kind-of crossed. (That's another thing I learned!) Here's the thing - babies are not experts at this stuff either. They just want to be held, fed, and kept clean and warm. You can diaper them backwards, or strap them in the carseat in such a way that they can't move their arms. Number one, they won't remember you were such a dork, and number two, it isn't like they could do any better, so they can just can it. You just fix the diaper, or pay more attention when you buckle them in the next time, and call it a day.

8) Singing to your baby is a good, good thing. Even if you're not much of a singer. There were tender times where I would sing loving lyrics. And then there were those 3 am, up every hour times where I would rant in song mode. Sometimes you just have to get it out there into the universe, and setting it to Brahms isn't a bad way to get it done.

9) What worked for me may not work for you. And that is the way it works, actually. You get to be the parent for your baby, and while advice and books and experts are all well and good, you are the one living it. If something isn't working for you, ignore it, change it, or leave it be for a while. You'll be awesome at this.

10) Maybe aiming the video camera at a sleeping baby for 45 straight minutes is riveting now, but in 11 years, you'll probably be cutting that clip down to 15 seconds. Just so you know.

Got any advice for my brother and sister-in-law? I'd love it if you'd share in the comments! If you've written posts about the newborn days, I'd love links to those too!