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It appears that I am starting the cold that my kids have been shuffling around with for the last two weeks. I refuse to get sick.

So far, I've been drinking a ton of water, resting and in desperation, I chewed up some extra vitamin c. My nose is slowly filling with snot and my throat feels scratchy. I'm also due to start my period any second. It's a perfect recipe for Exorcist-style head spinning.

The Perfect Sh*t Storm, if you will. Except I won't. I refuse. No.

I had signed all three kids up for a winter soccer development academy. Although only my youngest has ever had any experience with actual coached soccer (and that was a one week, half day camp last summer) I figured they would have fun. And they did have fun - when we were able to make it. We've only attended a few of the sessions, due to a combination of bad weather (they play rain or shine, but COME ON. I don't want to stand out in pouring rain. It is all about my comfort, not the kids' willingness to play in the rain) and illness. I finally made the call that we're done, and although I'm aware we didn't get as much out of the program as families who did attended every session, I really don't think I'm meant to be a soccer mom.

This will obviously be the post that my children will point back to where I crushed their dreams of being professional soccer players.

My son has been signing up for every single inter-mural sport that his school is running, and I'm encouraging it. Get your paltry exposure at recess! Mama doesn't want to stand in the rain!

My oldest's teacher is probably one of the most enthusiastic teachers I've ever met. The kids are going on a field trip that involves sleeping on a submarine in a couple of weeks, and she's been teaching them sea shanties and other mariner's songs. My daughter is sharing the love with her siblings, and this morning I woke to a rousing pair of verses regarding drunken sailors. I think I'll rewrite a few of the lines for my own purposes:

What do you do with bratty children?
What do you do with bratty children?
What do you do with bratty children?
Throw them in the brig.

I'm considering renaming the hall closet "The Brig" but it really isn't big enough to hold more than one kid at a time. Plus, when I stick them in there, stuff like this happens:

Clearly, I'm loopy. I am going to make some tea, and then I'm going to have a stern talk with immune system.