We've Established a Routine
There is a great freedom in realizing that you can't have it all, do it all, or be it all.
This is life lesson #1 that has been hammered home for my entire family. And I do mean hammered.
After spending the first week of summer vacation disquieted by the need to occupy the kids and keep the house and make the meals and do the laundry while putting in a full work day from the comfort of my closet, which, like the rest of the house, hits 85 degrees by mid-afternoon on the hot days, I wore myself out.
By disquieted? I mean I was yelling at everyone. Often. Even when totally not necessary. My husband pointed out that this was probably not an optimal time for me to go cold turkey off refined sugars. Ha!
But, lo and behold, a strange and miraculous transformation is taking place. My children are settling down and occupying themselves. My nine-year-old is helping with her siblings when I have a conference call. The kids get dressed and head out into the yard and *gasp* play nicely with each other. They get themselves ready for swimming lessons and help prepare meals.
I mean, they aren't as helpful with chores as I'd like them to be, but considering that I'm not available half the time to supervise and direct (let alone do any chores myself) I'm thinking that playing quietly and nicely is an acceptable tradeoff for this week.
As for me, well... I'm trying to step out of the closet (my husband calls it my hidey-hole) and take bracing breaths several times a day. I'm making an effort to be present. And pleasant. I'm not always successful - but it's getting better all the time.
Hey, look! My kids are swimming!
Comments
Long time reader, first time poster. I know how you feel about coming out of the hidey-hole and being there. Every summer I want to poke my head in the sand and let it just be. Good for you for making the effort!
Posted by: Sabrina | June 13, 2008 2:24 PM
Congrats on the new quieter outlook.
I'm hoping I get there soon.
Posted by: Heather | June 13, 2008 2:40 PM
Way to go! Yes, easier said than done, but keep working at it! I have to, I get in that yelling at everyone rut every so often because of work/kids/house/etc and trying to do it all, but remembering HEY-they live here too and they can help out! Makes a big difference!
Also as much as you are trying to be there for them and step out occasionally, the kids have to realize the door swings both ways because there will be times you just need to work without distraction, maybe only an hour or so to completely focus. Usually I make that Movie Time-- No worry about where they are in the yard, no neighbor kids, no running around or in and out of the house--I need an hour guys, lets pick a movie, drinks and bathroom before hand (even my 9YO will do that, like a real movie theater-potty beforehand-LOL) and watch together in a comfy place(or separate rooms even) and unless there is major disaster you have to leave mommy be until movie is over. You could even suggest go out/take you/do something together as reward if you wanted. I usually am kicking them out the door away from the TV but some days, you just need time for you with the least amount of fuss, and an occasional Movie Time works for me!
Sounds like you are doing great! Hang in there! :-D
Posted by: Ang | June 14, 2008 8:14 AM
I can't believe how big they look! And good for you for getting a summertime routine established. I wish toddlers and infants (or at least mine) would welcome a routine so well.
Posted by: Bethiclaus | June 20, 2008 8:19 PM