Berserker
Yesterday, we woke up and dressed for the big school drop-off, only to discover that both kids had fevers. I've got a sore throat, which somehow doesn't accurately describe the painful nature of it. My son, too. We're rasping and cranky.
I'd even go as far as saying I'm surly.
I just finished reading A Breath of Snow and Ashes
Anyway, the main female character, Claire, has horrible things happen to her all the time, and she is always rescued by her hot Scottish husband. Well, except for that time she had to kill a wolf with her bare hands, which she accomplishes neatly. She's a tough gal, that Claire.
This latest book had her suffer even more indignities, which she handled by going apeshit on her attackers when she wasn't tied up.
This is sort of the approach I've been taking when the kids come flying at me, tattling and whining. Not the whole banging the war-helmet and biting the shield business, but I do have a touch of the Berserker in me.
Take yesterday, for example. The kids were home sick (sigh) and I was loading the dishwasher. A war broke out in the living room, over the new xylophone. Someone rapped someone else's knuckles with the mallet. There was a scream of indignation, and then a chorus of "Moooooooom! He/She hit me!"
My blood pressure shot up to 9 million, and I seized two of the pot lids that I was washing. Banging them together like cymbals, I tore off into the living room, trailing soap suds and roaring like a lioness. "STOP!" I howled, still clanging the pot lids. I lifted the gleaming metal overhead and made sort of a hoo-hoo-hoo grunting noise, legs in a second-position demi-plie. I must have looked like a rampaging gorilla.
With a final clang of the pot lids, I returned to the kitchen. The kids sat in stunned silence for a good ten minutes. I finished the dishes.
Comments
Oh yeah, totally been there. Holding it together, holding it together, it's breaking....breaking..."Oh my GOD shut UP! YOU! sit here! YOU! sit there! YOU! over there! nobody MOVE! no moving!! I mean it, I'll tie you to the couch if I have to!!"
It'll give them something to bond over, later. Building good sibling relationships.
Posted by: Deana | January 6, 2006 7:30 AM
Scare them into submission! It seems to work!
Posted by: meghan | January 6, 2006 7:38 AM
I love those moments when I finally "go off" and afterwards I think to myself, it's ok, when they are all grown they will go for drinks together and be like, "remember that one time when mom totally lost and was raving like a lunetic?" and one of the other girls would reply, "which time? there were several?" and they would clink their glasses together and laugh at how they drove their mom to the brink..... every day.......
Posted by: Lise | January 6, 2006 8:34 AM
That was an excellent way to handle the situation. 10 minutes of stunned silence isn't too bad.
Cas
hope you're all feeling better
Posted by: cassie-b | January 6, 2006 8:52 AM
You do what you gotta do. I'm sure the 10 minutes of silence (and the future memories) was well worth the small little episode of bear-rage. :)
The unfortunate part is that although it worked once, I doubt the pot banging will be as effective a second time.
Posted by: cary | January 6, 2006 8:55 AM
Love those books! Just finished the last one myself a couple of months ago.
As for the children... I too can scare them into silence with the occasional, unexpected outburst. Love it when that works!
Posted by: MoMMY | January 6, 2006 8:58 AM
Ah, ha, ha, ha! I've just sat here behind my cubicle wall stifling the giggles for a good five minutes. That is totally similar to something I've done before and am likely to do again. Sometimes the sheer noise level that three kids can create can become deafening...and the whining makes you want to crawl under a rock!
Posted by: Vicky (Desperate to be a Housewife) | January 6, 2006 9:02 AM
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Brilliantly played, me thinks.
Posted by: Elaine | January 6, 2006 9:25 AM
I just have to say that my 3 year old just wanted to know what was so funny when I spit my coffee all over my computer. I have been reading you for a while, and you totally crack me up. I guess I find humor in your outburst because I can totally picture myself doing the exact same thing!
Posted by: amanda8 | January 6, 2006 9:57 AM
Wow that is a new one. I have heard of banging pots to gether to scare off a bear, but it works with kids too huh?
Nice!
Posted by: Tuesday | January 6, 2006 11:03 AM
Rock on!! I wonder if our kids will end up in group therapy together?
Posted by: Shanonn | January 6, 2006 11:49 AM
I agree with Elaine about 'joining them'. My kids make so much noise, I'm seeing a doctor about Tinnitus. Occasionally I tell my daughters that there will be no noise on the drive home from the place we are leaving, under threat of serious loss of toys. Works every time, and you know the saying: If it ain't broke, don't fix it!
Posted by: Erin | January 6, 2006 4:06 PM
Oh, Jenny.......
It's not the last book - Gabaldon herself has said that there will probably be two more. Good reading, indeed.
And I love the mental pic of second position, demi plie with pot lids.
Posted by: Carmen | January 6, 2006 5:40 PM
Shock and awe... shock and awe... it has it's advantages, doesn't it!
Posted by: jennyonthespot | January 7, 2006 9:53 PM
BWAHAAHAAAAAAA!!
:sigh:
SO glad to know I'm not alone there.
Posted by: Nancy | January 8, 2006 9:47 PM