It's a long standing family thing that we (meaning my side of the family) are royalty. I could call it a joke, but really, have you SEEN how good I look in a tiara? That isn't a coincidence, people.

R-O-Y-A-L-T-Y.

I've spent the last hour and fifteen minutes trying to get my youngest to bed. She stayed up until almost midnight yesterday, all hopped up from sweet potato smoke inhalation. Today she got a mere 45 minutes of nap in, and I was ready at eight to tuck her in.

Granted, the sky was still light, but she was tired. I was sure of it.

Down the hall came the shuffling foot steps. "Mommy. Aw, no. Mommy. I awake!"

"Aw no is right. Back to bed, munchkin." I scooped her up and redeposited her back on her toddler bed, arranged her comforter, reset her music, and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Five minutes later... "Aw no. Mommy, oh, I can't sleep."

"Aw no. Sleepytime." I marched her back to bed, and tucked her firmly under her comforter. Another kiss, and I sprinted down the hall to the living room.

Shuffle shuffle shuffle. "Aw no."

"What is the problem, babes? It's bedtime." I'm getting frustrated.

"Can't sweep. My bed hurts me." This was delivered in a plaintive wail, with chubby palms upraised.

mutter mutter mutter mutter

I whip all the blankets off her bed. Nothing. No problems. I plop her back down and she scowls at me, but lays there.

I toss the comforter on her like a jump shot, blow a kiss over my shoulder and book it to the living room.

Shuffle shuffle shuffle

I say it before she gets the chance. "Aw no."

"Mommy? Can't sweep. Mommy? Aw no."

Let's all say it together. "AW NO!"

This would make a fine drinking game. Keep your juice box or beverage of choice handy.

"Alright, let's see what the problem is." I stomp down the hall, with the baby tailing me. I pull off her blankets, and lay down on her mattress. It's fine. FINE, I TELL YOU.

Just to be certain, I decide to change her sheet. I whip off the old one, and feel a *plink* on my foot. A pea-sized Cocoa Puff had been under the sheet, and apparently was causing sufficent discomfort that my wee princess couldn't get a good night's sleep. As soon as I put a fresh sheet on, and tucked her in, she dropped off to sleep.

Yay! Further proof that we are real royalty.