It is curious how hyper-aware I am of every tiny maybe-symptom that occurs during the day. Last night, as I lay in my bed, a vague pressing sensation was in my throat. OH NO! I thought. Could this be a goiter?
And then I cleared my throat and no. Nope, there is nothing there.
You know what is the best thing ever? Starting a new workout plan that insists that on the first day, you rest. That was my yesterday. I walked around, shooting my mouth off about how "I'm on Day One of my new training program, yes, that's right, I'm going to run a half-marathon."
Day One = REST. Totally awesome.
Today, however, was Day Two. The task - run 1.5 miles.
In all my bragging yesterday, my friend Kim (Yes, Dog-Crap Analogy Kim) caught wind of what I'm up to, and insisted that she, too, is going to run a half-marathon. Well. That girl is always one-upping me. First the monkey bars, and NOW the half-marathon?
Actually, we decided to meet and run laps around the park while our two youngest played. We figured out that we needed to run around the park path 6 times to get our distance. It would be an exercise and play-date! Lookie at us multitaskers!
We decided to drive to the park, because we figured we wouldn't want to walk home after. This was a good call - but not because we were too tired. See, no one asked the toddlers what they would enjoy doing on a lovely Tuesday morning. My youngest was okay with it. Sort-of. Kim's son barricaded himself in the van, and refused to come out and play.
With some slight of hand, and a well-timed grab, we got him out, and brought him to the picnic bench. Then we did some pathetic, self-conscious stretches, and I took off for my first few laps. After the first lap, my three-year-old joined in. She trotted just ahead of me, setting a good pace, and yelled encouragement back to me.
"Come on, Mommy! You can do it!"
I puffed back to the picnic bench after three laps, and Kim did her first three looking like a champ. The kids and I stood along the walk and cheered for her as she cruised into lap three. My daughter joined Kim on one of her laps, too. Who needs a personal trainer? My three-year-old is totally up for the job.
I had a solid fourth lap, and then my shins started to ache. Knowing that I had horseback riding lessons in an hour, and I would be needing my legs, I used that as a lame (I know, it was lame) excuse not to finish my last two laps. While I did some more awkward and self-conscious stretching, Kim trotted around the park three more times. She kicked my hiney, man. Again.
While Kim made her way around the path, I corralled the two little monsters into my van for a private viewing of SpongeBob on our portable DVD player. You know, I used to scoff at the moms with the DVD players in the car. That's why it has windows, I said. Kids get too much TV already, they don't need no stinkin' movies in the car, too, said I. Then we got one for our upcoming trip and I owe lots of moms a big apology and maybe a gift certificate to NetFlix. Best. Invention. Ever. EVER.
Oh! And in further Kim News - she witnessed me making it all the way across the monkey bars at the school! I did it! I did it! My arms didn't fall off! Want to know the secret?
Here it is: If you hang 179 pounds of woman off of two stumpy, non-callused hands, you are not going to be able to do it. You can't just hang. You have to start off swinging.
So, Kim and I will meet again for a rematch on Thursday. We've got two toddlers, six laps, and bragging rights riding on the outcome. Provided we can even walk on Thursday. Heh.
I'm also down one pound to 178. This is tedious - but I think I know what the problem is.
Ready for the bad news?
I haven't been eating hardly anything. I haven't been cooking hardly anything. I knew when I decided to take on Fat Fallacy as my lifestyle guide, I would have a hard time with scheduling. But this last week and a half has kicked my sore buttocks all over the place.
I won't eat unless I'm able to sit down and appreciate the food I'm eating. I won't eat in the car, nor in front of the computer. Not in front of the TV either. I need about 30 minutes, three times a day, just for eating. And I'm not finding it.
With the last week of school festivities in full swing, I've been galloping from one place to the next, leaving the house before 8 am and often not returning until after 5 pm. I'm attending field trips, driving from school to stable to store to school again with no pitstops at home. I've skipped breakfast AND lunch for the last four days. This has resulted in really low energy and no interest in cooking a real dinner. Add in the fact that my husband is on a business trip, and I'm preparing for a week-long vacation with the three kids and a cross-country flight, and you've got a recipe for diet disaster.
Tonight, I ate a Happy Meal. It was gross.
I'm thinking at bare minimum, I need to eat a protein rich breakfast. I hate to shovel the food in, but this wishful thinking that my schedule is going to miraculously allow me time to eat, while contemplating the texture and aroma of each bite, is delusional. Especially this week, when all the planets have aligned, keeping me from having any free time.
I'm not allowing my body to get the nutrients it needs, and it's affecting my potential weight loss. I need to find the time to eat. I need to slow down.
I have this weird, illogical perfectionism streak. It tells me that I shouldn't take up exercise if I can't do it right. It tells me that I know the "right way" to eat now, and by golly, I'm going to do it that way. I'm not giving myself the space to be flexible. I mean, I know I don't want to mindlessly eat in the car, or shovel handfuls of cereal straight from the pantry, but to forgo eating because I can't do it "right" is crazy. But that's what I've been doing. And it isn't working out.
Balance. I'm seeking balance.
Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. I have not replaced the batteries in my digital camera since Saturday night, and you have missed out on some spectacular examples of Dinners That Are Totally Not On The Diet. I have also stalled on getting going with my Strip Tease Aerobics DVD, but I promise to share my uh, moves. I've been stalling about getting back on the scale, but I am doing it tomorrow morning after my weekend of diet debauchery.
It would totally serve me right if the numbers have climbed. I mean, let's take Sunday for example. I had a chocolate donut for breakfast, hot chocolate at the ice skating rink as a reward for towing my three-year-old around for an hour and a half, and then topped it off with a giant slice of pizza for lunch. I mean giant as in as large as my head. And I have a huge head. I didn't eat dinner, because I was so full from the giant pizza.
(Tonight? I feasted on a barbecued hot dog and baked beans, corn on the cob, three-bean salad and potato chips. I would hang my head in shame, but it was good and I didn't stuff myself, and besides, it's hard to type with your chin on your chest. I'm just sayin'.)
This healthy eating is easy for me, as an individual, but my family...let's just say they are fighting it a bit. Oh, okay. A lot. They want "fun food" and "easy food."
I've been feeling quite victorious about eating smaller meals, and eliminating snacks. However, it has dawned on me that I am still mindlessly munching while I cook. I sample everything, and all those little tastes and nibbles add up. No wonder I'm not very hungry when I sit down to eat. I'm using small plates, but I'm probably still eating double what I should be eating, volume-wise.
My mission for this week is to eliminate the sampling and taste-testing. The food crosses my lips when I sit in front of my plate. Not before, and not after. This might give me a twitching eye from all the effort it will take me. Hey, I wonder if that will burn calories?
So! Monday is our menu day here at Big Slice of Life, Small Slice of Cheesecake. I've decided to make this a "fun finger food" week to encourage the kids to linger and chat during the meal. I belatedly remembered that this makes me like the Cher character in Mermaids. That's actually pretty funny, don't you think?
So! Without futher ado, here's some fun food for week three:
Tuesday: Grilled cheese sandwiches, salad, cream of broccoli soup and fruit ( mini croissants, split and topped with cheddar cheese, broiled until bubbly, green salad and cream of broccoli soup with sliced apples.
Wednesday: Spanikopita, veggies and ranch dip, sliced fruit (phylo dough and butter wrapped around spinach, water chestnuts and feta cheese, accented with oregano and parsley and seasoned with paprika, sliced carrots and celery and jicama and whatever else with ranch dip and sliced melon.)
Thursday: veggie potstickers, shrimp cocktail, cucumber rounds with dill dip (Cabbage, carrot, celery, extra-firm tofu, soy sauce, in samosa dough steamed, with shrimp cocktail and sliced cucumber served with plain yogurt flavored with fresh dill.)
Friday: Shish-kebabs - chicken, veggies over rice with watermelon (Skewered and grilled chicken, veggies - mushrooms, peppers, onion, whatever else and steamed brown rice, served with sliced watermelon.)
Saturday: Homemade cheese pizza, tossed salad, sliced fruit (homemade pizza dough, topped with fresh tomato, sliced summer squash and feta cheese, served with a tossed salad and sliced fruit.)
Sunday: Falafel pitas, avocado and tomato salad, tomato soup (falafel balls, served in a whole wheat pita with lettuce and avocado and tomato salad, with a cup of tomato soup.)
Monday: Turkey meatballs, garlic bread, roasted zucchini and peppers (Ground turkey, finely diced celery and carrot, parsley, oats, egg and soy sauce, pan roasted and served with garlic bread and roasted veggies.)
Tuesday: Nachos with refried beans and jicama salad (Tortilla chips, topped with shredded cheese, salsa, sour cream, avocados and refried beans and served with a jicama and lemon salad.)
| PRODUCE | MEAT | CANS |
| apples, | shrimp, large | water chestnuts, |
| avocados, | ground turkey | cream of broccoli |
| bananas, | tomato soup | |
| oregano | DAIRY & COLD | refried beans |
| bell peppers, | butter. | |
| broccoli, | Eggs, | |
| dill | mild cheddar cheese, | BOTTLES |
| carrots, | Milk, | olive oil, |
| celery | parmesean cheese, | |
| Cucumber, | sour cream, | DRY GOODS |
| summer squash | whipping cream | |
| garlic, | yogurt (plain) | falafel mix |
| grapes | swiss cheese | flour |
| jicama, | orange juice | tortilla chips |
| lemon, | fresh salsa | bread flour |
| mushrooms, | feta cheese | yeast |
| onion, | extra-firm tofu | yellow corn meal |
| parsley | FROZEN | brown rice |
| plum tomatoes, | Edamame | Paprika |
| red bell peppers | chicken breasts | |
| romaine lettuce, | Vanilla ice cream. | |
| strawberries, | Phylo Dough | |
| sweet onion, | Spinach | BREADS |
| Sweet potatoes, | Baguettes | |
| watermelon. | mini croissants | |
| zucchini, Cabbage |
pita |
As always, if you have any questions about this menu, or ideas you'd like to share, leave me a comment or email me at bigslicejenny@gmail.com.
If you were following along last week - you'll notice that I dropped two full meals off of the menu plan. Wait! Actually three! I've still got a whole chicken in my freezer, and frozen green beans, and a bunch of small red potatoes, and a whole bunch of stuff for lettuce wraps...
What I'm discovering is that the sheer amount of food I'm cooking is producing heaps of leftovers. Instead of eating, say, a giant plate of pasta and nothing else, I'm eating small portions of salad, fruit, bread, grains and entrees, and I'm totally satisfied. I'm eating more food than ever, but I'm not eating more of it. I'm feeling victorious, even though I've lost a grand total of 2 pounds. So I'm back at 179. This week, that number is goin' down. *Shaking my fist in the air*
This weekend, I spent an hour on the mini-trampoline, watching an episode of What Not To Wear while I jumped and did kicks and twists. I love jumping on that thing. It is exactly like being a little kid on a hotel bed. Boing, boing, boing... I spin around, and do arm circles, and then do fast little jumps, and then big, booming jumps that rattle the windows in their frames and cause the foundation to creak. I only wish it was bigger, so that I could do butt-bounces. Because THAT would rock.
I also made my first attempt at Steph's 50 Pushup challenge. I did 5 good ones, and then collapsed on #6, and whimpered for the rest of the afternoon. Behold the lame attempt. I think I'm going to have to *gasp* work up to it. Which means more than one attempt. Which means pushups. Probably daily. Craaaaaap. Thanks, Steph!
On Sunday, my husband and I took the three kids ice skating. We had a blast! Our rink allows the kids to push chairs around, and they don't play any music with suggestive lyrics during this special session for little kids. I kid you not, we were skating around to Hava Nagila and The Chicken Dance. We want to go again soon. For the music alone. I'll be posting more about this over at Three Kid Circus.
Alright, so let's talk menus: Week Two, represent!
Monday - Oven chicken and dumplings and apple sauce. Chicken, red potatoes, carrots, celery, onion and garlic, corn, peas and maybe red bell pepper, veggie stock to cover. Flour, milk, butter and cheese and parsley. Baking powder and salt and pepper.
Tuesday - Samosas & cucumber/yogurt salad, melon. Potatoes, carrots, peas, onion,garlic, parsley. Butter, and curry powder. Flour, olive oil and salt. Whole milk plain yogurt, cucumber, garlic, black pepper. Watermelon
Wednesday - Allspice mashed sweet potatoes, zucchini and eggplant bake with red pepper coulis. Sweet potatoes, allspice, butter, eggplant, zucchini, red bell peppers, water chestnuts, olive oil, panko crumbs, butter, eggs
Thursday - Pasta with parmesean and butter, chopped salad, bread. Pasta, parmesean, butter, jicama, tomatoes, celery, french bread,
Friday - Avocado with baby shrimp, butter lettuce salad, fruit slush drinks, chips and salsa. One avocado per person - fresh baby shrimp, cherry tomatoes, sweet onion, salt and pepper, watercress, butter lettuce - orange juice blended with a banana and ice. chips and salsa.
Saturday - Quiche Lorraine green beans, fruit salad. One sweet onion, 1/2 pound bacon, swiss cheese, heavy cream, four eggs, pie crust, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper, frozen green beans, strawberries, bananas, apples, grapes.
Sunday - Pork tenderloin, baked potatoes, succotosh. One small pork tenderloin, one russet potato for each person, butter and sour cream, packaged frozen succotosh.
Dr. Clower suggests a glass of red wine with your dinner. Now, I'm not a wine expert, so pick your favorite. And he also suggests that you finish your meal with a bit of rich cheese, or a piece of dark chocolate and a cup of coffee or tea.
I think we should get Dr. Clower to give us a chocolate eating lesson.
Okay, so let's break this down a bit more. Here's the shopping list.
| PRODUCE | MEAT | CANS |
| apples, | Shrimp, tiny | water chestnuts, |
| avocados, | Pork Tenderloin | |
| bananas, | ||
| basil, | DAIRY & COLD | |
| bell peppers, | butter. | BOTTLES |
| broccoli, | Eggs, | curry powder |
| butter lettuce. | mild cheddar cheese, | cinnamon, |
| carrots, | Milk, | olive oil, |
| celery | parmesean cheese, | allspice |
| Cucumber, | sour cream, | applesauce |
| eggplant | whipping cream | |
| garlic, | yogurt (plain) | DRY GOODS |
| grapes | swiss cheese | spaghetti |
| grated carrot, | orange juice | panko bread crumbs |
| jicama, | fresh salsa | hazelnuts |
| lemon, | dried berries | |
| lime, | flour | |
| mint | FROZEN | baking powder |
| mushrooms, | Edamame | baking soda |
| onion, | chicken breasts | tortilla chips |
| parsley | frozen corn, | |
| plum tomatoes, | frozen green beans, | |
| red bell peppers | frozen peas, | BREADS |
| romaine lettuce, | Vanilla ice cream. | Baguettes |
| Russet potatoes | succotosh | bagels |
| Small red potatoes, | bread for toast | |
| strawberries, | ||
| sweet onion, | ||
| Sweet potatoes, | ||
| watermelon. | ||
zucchini, |
Yesterday, I skipped breakfast, and ended up snacking throughout the morning. I was disappointed with myself, but by lunch, when I sat down to a lovely salad and bread, I decided to learn from my mistake, instead of beating myself up about it. This morning, I enjoyed a mini-bagel with an egg, scrambled with basil, red bell pepper, onion and a banana. I know I'll be fine until lunch.
Eating this way requires some forethought, and a pantry and fridge full of ingredients. That is pretty intimidating for a mom like me, with a husband who works long hours and three busy kids. I spent five dollars on ingredients for my homemade mac and cheese, and I had to laugh, because I could have made boxed mac and cheese for less than a dollar. Why is it so expensive to cook from scratch?
The truth is, my mac and cheese recipe made enough for two dinners plus a week's worth of lunches for all three kids. I packed away the leftovers in the freezer, for a day when the kids don't like the dinner I'm preparing, or I need a break from cooking. How great is that? You don't get that with your 99 cent box of neon orange mac and cheese. It didn't even take any more time.
I had become leery of cooking from scratch for a long while, because the lure of 'easy' and 'quick' and 'cheap' was powerful. But I'm finding that each of the dinners I've made have taken me about a half-hour to put together. I spend at least that much time making things from boxes and cans and freezer pouches.
I took my grocery list to the store and spent about $180 on the things I had listed. (I didn't shop at Trader Joe's this time... I find that I always save money there, but Safeway is right around the corner, and they have pull-ups. Yes, my three-and-a-half-year-old is still in pull-ups. SIgh.) I expected that this shopping trip would be a week's worth of food. But I will seriously be getting two weeks (or more for the non-perishables) out of my money. When I figure that I spend $20 a shot at a fast-food restaurant to feed my family one meal, and cooking at home works out to about $12 a day for the whole family... that quick and easy doesn't sound so great anymore.
"U.S. residents spend more on fast food than they do on movies, books, magazines, newspapers, and videos combined. Americans paid over $110 billion on burgers, fried chicken, and other fast foods in 2000, compared with $6 billion in 1970." Will Clower, The Fat Fallacy, page 145
This is all a learning process for me. I'm already thinking ahead to my menu and shopping list for next week... I'm starting to see that there are many tasty, simple ways to feed my family that don't have to have a brand name or pretty package, and it's exciting. As my portion sizes continue to shrink, I'm more satisfied by the variety of foods that I'm eating, and looking forward to not only eating the next meal, but preparing it, too. This is a huge change in my attitude.
One other facet that I haven't discussed is the amount of meat that I am eating. Says Dr. Will:
"This is the French diet. So we are going to eat (in most ways) like the French. Refer to the earlier section on comparing food pyramids of the world. The least healthy culture chosen (ours) has the highest recommended levels of red meats.
Coincidence? Maybe, but I'm going with the populations that don't have all our heart problems.
We're not big meat eaters, so you'll see that most weeks, we eat a little chicken, a little fish, sometimes some turkey, and the occasional bacon. But that's pretty much it. I'll be posting my meals to the photo album over to the left side, and will tackle my first exercise challenge this weekend. Have a great weekend!
I spent Mother's Day at the beach with my family, and despite having a variety of chips, cookies and other goodies to choose from, I was pretty good. I spent my time toe deep in the freezing water, and ended up with a horrific sunburn on my back. Lesson learned: maybe have someone over the age of five put on your sunblock. The backs of my thighs are sore today, too, from the ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch sprints across the hot sand. Last night found me face down in a chocolate cream pie, in an effort to make myself forget about the PAIN radiating from my back. Ow. And also, yum!
Although I was due to grocery shop on Saturday, somehow we managed to scavange for our meals this weekend. I'll be heading off to the store today, and as promised, I made up a menu for the week, and a grocery list. I'll elaborate on these as I cook them, but I'm not much of a recipe girl. I like to wing it. Here it is:
Breakfasts –
orange juice and tea
Scrambled egg, half piece toast with butter
Oatmeal with brown sugar and shot of cream
Mini bagel with melted swiss cheese
Whole milk yogurt
Lunch –
green salad with dried fruit, lots of variety, hard boiled egg or tuna or something, and sliced French bread with olive oil and vinegar dressing.
Things I want to try to eat every day:
Sweet potato
Banana
Apple
Leafy Greens
Olive Oil
French Bread
Nuts
Edamame
Monday Dinner -
Lazy Chicken (TJ’s vodka pasta sauce, chicken in slow cooker) served over pappardelle noodles, with steamed broccoli, fruit salad and bruchetta baguettes for appetizer.
(Frozen chicken, jar of pasta sauce, noodles, strawberries, bananas, apples, cinnamon, cherry or plum tomatoes, basil, sweet onion, olive oil, balsamic vinegar broccoli, parmesean, baguette whipping cream.)
Tuesday Dinner –
Homemade macaroni and cheese, chopped jicama and avocado salad with lime, fresh bread, tomato soup for appetizer, melon for dessert.
(Milk, noodles, butter, panko crumbs, mild cheddar cheese, jicama, avocado, frozen corn, lime, tomato soup, watermelon.)
Wednesday Dinner –
Baked sweet potatoes topped with chili beans and sour cream, steamed brown rice, peas. Sliced red bell peppers, sautéed in olive oil with onion and garlic. Ice cream for dessert
(Sweet potatoes, canned chili beans, sour cream, brown rice, frozen peas, red bell peppers onion garlic. Vanilla ice cream.)
Thursday Dinner –
Fried rice with egg, almonds, peas, carrots, water chestnuts and snow peas. Chicken lettuce wraps (chopped chicken, grated carrot, chopped mushrooms, hoisin sauce, chopped water chestnuts, chopped bamboo shoots, chopped almonds, oyster sauce – with two heads butter lettuce) . Cucumber salad rice vinegar. Edamame.
(Left over rice from night before, almonds, frozen peas, grated carrot, chopped waterchestnuts, chicken bamboo shoots, mushrooms, oyster sauce, hoisin sauce, butter lettuce. Cucumber, rice vinegar. Edamame)
Friday Dinner –
Frozen cheese pizza and green salad, sliced apples. (Two frozen pizzas, romaine lettuce, crutons, apples, parmesean cheese, dressing)
Saturday Dinner –
Grilled sausages, roasted peppers and zucchini and onion with barbecue sauce over rice.
(Italian sausages, bell peppers, zucchini, onion, barbecue sauce, brown rice.)
Sunday Dinner -
whole roasted chicken with garlic, potato salad, green beans with almonds.
(Small red potatoes, whole chicken, frozen green beans, almonds, parmesean, butter. Eggs, garlic, carrots, celery onion, lemon, parsley)
Shopping list:
| PRODUCE | MEAT | CANS |
| apples, | whole chicken, | bamboo shoots, |
| avocados, | Italian sausages, | canned chili beans, |
| bananas, | chopped water chestnuts, | |
| basil, | DAIRY & COLD | |
| bell peppers, | butter. | BOTTLES |
| broccoli, | Eggs, | balsamic vinegar |
| butter lettuce. | mild cheddar cheese, | barbecue sauce, |
| carrots, | Milk, | cinnamon, |
| celery | parmesean cheese, | dressing |
| plum tomatoes, | sour cream, | hoisin sauce, |
| Cucumber, | whipping cream | jar of pasta sauce, |
| garlic, | yogurt | olive oil, |
| grated carrot, | swiss cheese | oyster sauce, |
| jicama, | orange juice | rice vinegar. |
| lemon, | tomato soup, | |
| lime, | FROZEN | |
| mushrooms, | Edamame | BREADS |
| onion, | chicken breasts | Baguettes |
| parsley | frozen corn, | bagels |
| red bell peppers | frozen green beans, | bread for toast |
| romaine lettuce, | frozen peas, | |
| Small red potatoes, | Two frozen pizzas, | DRY GOODS |
| strawberries, | Vanilla ice cream. | slivered almonds, |
| sweet onion, | brown rice, | |
| Sweet potatoes, | crutons, | |
| watermelon. | macaroni noodles, | |
| zucchini, | panko bread crumbs | |
| pappardelle | ||
| oatmeal | ||
| hazelnuts | ||
| dried berries |
I leaped onto the scale this morning, prepared to do a victory dance. Granted, given the narrow width of my bathroom, it would be an awkward dance, but I anticipated seeing a loss, because I've been really cleaning up my act this week. I pushed the button and waited while it showed me my last measurements: 43% body fat, people - I'm sure to survive any famines on the strength of my fat stores alone, and 179 pounds. I stepped up, toes wiggling.
181 pounds. Go me.
Actually, though, this is my lovely week of bloating, so I'm staying off the scale for a few days. I'm not going to allow the disappointment of calling off my victory dance to keep me from working hard at this diet. So, what exactly am I doing? Let me explain why I'm following this diet, and how it is supposed to work:
The whole idea is to eat three small but varied meals a day, made from food...real food, not packaged foods full of additives and preservatives. By including healthy fats like olive oil and small amounts of cream and butter in my daily eating, my body should stay satisfied for longer, even with smaller portions. Really, the smaller portions is the key for the weight loss. Less food = less calories.
Say it with me: Duuuuuuuh. The problem here is that I'm really a quantity girl. I like a big heaping plate of pasta. I like second helpings. I have become accustomed to feeling uncomfortably full at the end of a meal, rather than satisfied. Not only that, after seven straight years of trying to eat as quickly as possible, I can shovel food in like nobody's business. I can get an entire meal in before someone needs me to leap up and fetch something or wipe something or any of the other somethings that come with small children. I eat so fast I don't give my body time to tell me I'm full, and I consistenly overeat. It's really pretty disgusting, when I think about it.
Another idea behind this way of eating is to sit down at the table with your meals. Take small bites. Enjoy the flavor and texture. Experience the food you are eating. I have to admit, this seems like a big "Duh" point to make, but as I drove through crazy traffic with a soft pretzel from Target held in my teeth, I realized that not only wasn't I truly hungry, but I wasn't even tasting the food as I wolfed it down. Last week, I found myself packing my cheeks with cereal as I gathered ingredients for dinner from the pantry. I had both cheeks so full that I could barely close my lips, and I had another handful ready. Why?
It seems that I'm a mindless grazer. I eat without thought, without planning. We eat a lot of fast food, because I'm always out of something, despite repeated trips to the store, and the thought of cooking at the end of a hectic day leaves me pouting like a spoiled toddler. A quick run through the drive-thru, and I can get on with the rest of my evening.
But here's a thought - I actually love to cook. I'm a great cook, and I love to work with food. I love to eat, too. Why am I deliberately choosing garbage food over a simple, easily prepared meal at home? I blame this squarely on the kids. The hour before dinnertime is crazy around here. The kids are in their witching hour, and I spend most of the time keeping them from hurling their siblings off the fort in the yard, or worse, tattling. I just want to get them fed and get it over with.
What are they learning from that attitude, though? Certainly not appreciation for a good meal. I'm determined to make mealtime a family affair, from the menu planning and shopping to the preparing and eating. I want them to have an understanding of healthy food choices. At seven, five and three, they are old enough to participate. Now, if I can just get my control-freak kitchen attitude adjusted, I can envision them tossing salad, slicing berries and bananas, grating cheese...
I can also envision myself cleaning up enthusiastically tossed lettuce from the floor, cleaning smashed berries off of the chairs, and having to bathe the entire trio before I can finish making dinner. Whatever. It might be better than having them out in the yard, stripped down to their underpants and standing onto of the play-fort while they yell at passing cars. Not that that ever happens around here. Ahem.
I'll be doing my weekly grocery shopping tomorrow. Shall I post my menu for the week, and a shopping list? I think it might force me to actually have a plan, and inspire me to stick with it.
Also - I've decided that this whole exercise baloney would be a whole lot more fun if I had accomplices. Leave me a comment with a suggested activity that you'd like to see me try. As long as it doesn't involve jumping out of a plane, and I can do it locally, I'm game. Bonus points if you come up with something that I can do WITH my kids. I'll even take pictures and post them here, photo essay-style. I've just discovered that I can rent exercise DVDs from Netflix, too, so recommend away, and I'll put 'em in my queue.
Last spring, I found myself contemplating wearing my super-cute maternity swimsuit and fibbing about being three months pregnant rather than brave the mall fitting room for the annual festival of self-loathing known as swimsuit shopping. Even though my youngest child was over two, my body was stubbornly holding onto the weight gained over not one, but three pregnancies in five years. I knew that it was time for me to think about a diet. So I thought about it. I decided that I would naturally lose the weight over summer, what with the hotter weather and three active children and all.
Despite my optimism, I spent the summer avoiding the pool at all costs, and feeling generally uncomfortable. This year, I decided to take matters well into hand before I found myself crouching poolside in a pair of elastic-waist shorts and a baggy tee. Did I make weight loss a priority this year? Did I join the gym and cut out sweets? Not exactly.
No, I jumped onto the Lands End website, and created a virtual model for myself. "Aha! I can try swimsuits on virtually! In my kitchen!" When I typed in my physical dimensions, and my virtual model appeared, I was stunned. Actually, stunned doesn't even cover my reaction. I felt betrayed. First of all, that woman on my screen was fat – surely I must have mistyped something. I checked my stats again. I refreshed the model, and to my surprise, she was still fat.
Well, shoot. All the mirrors in my house are from the waist up, and I am always careful not to linger. I'm used to dressing for comfort, and haven't really bought clothes with sizes that include numbers in years. I raced to the nearest mirror, and scrutinized myself. My stomach would totally back me up, should I try to pull off the maternity suit. Don't get me started on my upper arms. And my butt has a time zone all to itself, people. Who knew? Like my virtual model, I am apparently fat.
It sounds ridiculous to say that I didn't realize that I was fat. I have always had a rounded figure, even at my fighting weight of one hundred twenty pounds. At just under five feet tall, I seem to gain weight all over, instead of just in my lower half. I assured myself that I was still proportional, and I assumed all those bad photos were just taken from unflattering angles. When my scale died shortly after the birth of my youngest, I never replaced it. I've know that my weight needed some attention, but I didn't realize how much I've gained, how much I've changed.
After the shock wore off, I turned on some techno music and put my virtual model through the entire line of swimsuits. Sadly, I discovered that there is not a truly flattering cut for a woman who is carrying fifty extra pounds around. Fifty pounds is larger than my seven year old! No wonder I'm not as energetic as I used to be. It's like I'm walking around with a chimpanzee on my back. Okay, a fifty-pound chimp is a small one, but still. I left the site and decided that optimism is only one of the factors I'll need to shed these extra pounds. Ooh-ooh, ah-ah.
I've been on a few diets here and there, with mixed results. My family enjoyed pasta and dessert while I choked down another broiled chicken breast and steamed veggies or worse, a frozen, reduced everything entree. Sure, I may have dropped a few pounds, but I suspect the loss was due to calories burned while seething in resentment.
For me to be truly successful, I know I will have to make some major lifestyle changes, not only for myself, but also for my entire family. As a stay-at-home-mom to a first grader, kindergartener and toddler, I want to reinforce good eating habits, and teach them how to make healthy choices. I want to be a positive role model. I want our family to play together, and eat together. Mostly, I don't want to have to choke down diet food while my family gets to eat the good stuff.
I've decided to follow the eating guidelines provided in The Fat Fallacy, by Will Clower. This eating style, inspired by the eating habits of the French, appeals to me because it encourages varied meals of healthy foods, with the focus on avoiding packaged foods and artificial ingredients. I like the sensible, gimmick-free approach to meals, and the added benefit of making mealtime more of a family event, rather than a quick refueling before rushing off to other activities. I also like the fact that the cover of the book has a pat of butter melting onto an English muffin. Now that's what I'm talking about.
With a husband and three kids who prefer boxed macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs in it to all other forms of cuisine, and are hard-pressed to stay at the table through a single course served on melamine plates, I'm not sure how we'll do with the leisurely, multiple-course meals suggested. I'm looking into installing seat belts on the dining chairs. In any case, it could make for some rich comedy. I am looking forward to giving it a go.
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