Small Slice

image from nataliedee.com

Tomorrow marks month two of being on synthroid, and I'm pretty happy to say that my hair has stopped falling out, except for the expected shedding that I consider to be normal, and I'm getting that groovy crew-cut length regrowth poking out all over my scalp. HAWT. Some of the other symptoms continue on without improvement (hello lack of sex drive!) and my skin is still scaly.

My doctor has ordered a retest for me to check my thyroid levels, so I'm going to head to the lab tomorrow to see what kind of improvement has been made.

I've been sort of off food for a few weeks - I'm eating small meals, but the balance has been sort of whack, and my weird poop issues were getting worse and worse. I canNOT believe I'm sharing this, but my poop was light colored and floating, and generally not, um, well-formed. This is usually a symptom of malabsorption or consumption of too much fat, and I've been careful not to eat too much fat. This has been going on off and on for months.

I thought thyroid - but the medicine didn't fix it.
I thought maybe dairy - but eliminating dairy didn't fix it.
I thought maybe gluten - but removing gluten just made me angry and on edge.
And then I realized that I've been eating more nuts as a part of my healthier diet this year. Since January, I've typically had a small handful of raw nuts of some variety almost every day. Sometimes almonds or walnuts, but sometimes macadamia nuts or my favorite, cashews.

After eating a generous number (say, 25 or 30 nuts) of macadamia nuts in early August, I had some pretty awful stomach cramping and icky poo the next day. I chocked it up to too many s'mores while camping and continued to eat nuts. The weird poo continued.

Around the middle of August, I made a really yummy coconut rice with cilantro, lime juice and toasted cashews. I didn't make the connection then, but my stomach was really unhappy the next day.

Last Tuesday, I ate about 15 cashews chopped with apple and mixed with greek yogurt. I probably ate another 15 as a snack in the late afternoon. By Wednesday morning, I was in the grips of an evil, evil stomach cramping illness that felt like food poisoning.

I spent the early morning rushing in and out of the bathroom. I had a doctor's visit for my sleep apnea (more on that later) at Kaiser, which turned out to be a 2 hour class. About 15 minutes into the class, I had to excuse myself and sprint to the restroom. I spent about 30 minutes in a cold sweat, clutching the support bar in the handicapped stall with my face resting on the cold tiles of the wall. I have rarely been so sick.

I had already waiting a month and a half for this appointment - I was missing work, and I was determined to not "waste" this time. I splashed some cold water on my face, and went back to the classroom. I made it another 30 minutes, before having to rush back to the bathroom. This time, I did the unthinkable and actually lay down on the cold tile floor, wracked with cold sweats and shaking like a leaf. After 20 minutes, I was able to get back up, splashed on some more cold water and headed back to finish out the class. I made, it, but barely, and was shaking and sweating as I drove myself home. I called in sick, and curled up in bed for the duration. I lost an entire day to these horrific stomach woes.

It was the cashews. I know it was the cashews. And I don't know what to do, besides not eat them again. Should I be tested formally for an allergy?

It has been a week since I've eaten any raw nuts - although I had a little peanut butter today, maybe a teaspoon. I don't think that it will be a problem. And as soon as my poor body got over purging the crap out of me (literally) my poop has been normal. Not floating. Not pale. My poop has been your standard, textbook version of poop.

You would think that it would take more than that to get me excited, but hoo boy. We're living large over here.

Posted by Jenny at 8:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I had hoped in a very small, stupid part of my brain that there would be some sort of mystical rainbows shooting out of my rear or something after a month on these meds, and aside from some improvement in the weird poo department, which I GUESS you could consider mystical, if you haven't changed your eating patterns or diet one iota and yet your number two is differentish, things are pretty much the same.

Continue reading "No mystical rainbows, yet." »

Posted by Jenny at 7:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

A few weeks ago, I sat down in my doctor's office and got "the speech." I've heard it all before - the extra steps each day, taking the stairs, eating small meals, blah blah blah.

And the thing is? I do all that stuff. And yet I got the hairy eyeball when I told my doctor that I typically don't consume more than 1,500 calories a day, and while I do have the occasional hamburger or cookie, most of my meals are pretty well balanced and healthy.

He looked at my overflowing cup of a body and suggested a weight loss class. I wanted to cry.

Continue reading "The 300 Calorie Project" »

Posted by Jenny at 8:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

It is curious how hyper-aware I am of every tiny maybe-symptom that occurs during the day. Last night, as I lay in my bed, a vague pressing sensation was in my throat. OH NO! I thought. Could this be a goiter?

And then I cleared my throat and no. Nope, there is nothing there.

Continue reading "The zeal of the newly diagnosed" »

Posted by Jenny at 9:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Meal planning has been the bane of my existence for the last month, and so I haven't been doing it.  As a result, we've been eating unbalanced, strange meals.  Mostly things that I don't have to cook.

I figure a few strange weeks of eating aren't the worst thing I've subjected my family to.  But with school starting in one week, I've got a good dose of panic going, and I'm not ready to deal.

I'm not ready!  Whose idea was this whole back to school in the middle of August?  WHO?

I came up with some great suggestions for packables last year... but recently, I've been really inspired by a few fellow bloggers:

Lunch in a Box - this is right up my alley - I love the presentation and the smaller portions.

Pack My Lunch - she's been on a slower posting schedule this summer, but she's got some fantastic ideas for even the picky kids.

The title of this blog just cracks me up, and she's got some fantastic stuff here, too.

I'm determined to pack lunches for the kids this year - last year, I made it through two discouraging weeks of nearly-full lunch boxes being brought home (and the news that my kids were mooching off of their friends who had pringles and "fruit" snacks) before I decided to purchase hot lunches for my kids - I figured it would be better to have the school food get rejected, so I could still pretend that I'm a good cook.

This year, I'm not going to be defeated!  (Or okay, not that easily!)  My kids aren't sandwich eaters... so I'm thinking leftovers are going to be the way to go.

How about at your house?  Are you ready for school lunches?

Posted by Jenny at 6:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

So, since returning from my vacation and swearing off on dairy products for the month, plus all refined sugars and flours, I'm doing surprisingly well.  But it is curious how often I reach for a cheese stick, or a yogurt, or the milk to add to my coffee or whatever.  I consume a lot of dairy products on a daily basis, and eliminating them (temporarily) has shown me how much I clearly use dairy to fill my stomach.  That and bready stuff. 

I know that I need protein and veggies, but I can't tell you how often I've made a meal of a bagel and cheese, or buttered toast, or a granola bar.  I can justify each of these choices, of course, but the reality is they DON'T contain the nutrition I need, at least, not entirely.  I need to have protein and veggies at every meal, or I get sluggish and mean an hour later. 

Continue reading "Lessons Learned" »

Posted by Jenny at 9:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm going to get back to posting my weekly menus, along with photos of my dinners over in the Small Slice album.  It feels like forever since I made anything to eat that rocked my socks off, and frankly, that sucks.

I got up this morning and walked the kids to school, and then came home determined to make a good menu and cook from it for the next two weeks.  I don't know how I got off track, but I'm not dwelling.  It is time to move forward!

So!  This is the plan for the next two weeks: 

Monday: Crustless Quiche made with red bell pepper, onion, and zucchini, served with baby spinach salad and sliced apples.
Tuesday: Vegetarian chili with whole grain flatbread topped with broiled cheese, served with steamed broccoli
Wednesday: Chicken and brown rice casserole with a chopped salad.
Thursday: Tea-party dinner - mini-sandwiches (egg salad, watercress and cucumber with cream cheese, turkey with cranberry sauce) sliced fruit and raw veggies.
Friday: Homemade pizza with whole wheat crust.
Saturday: Baked sweet potatoes, TJ's Soycotosh, teriyaki glazed chicken breast
Sunday: Leftovers
Monday: Whole grain pasta with green beans, red peppers and fruit
Tuesday: Breaded Tilapia from TJs, spanish rice and brussels sprouts
Wednesday: Whole grain mac and cheese, made from scratch, with steamed broccoli and cauliflower

You know what?  I'm going to stop right there.  The following morning, I'll be boarding a flight for Hawaii, and I'll be filling my freezer with quick and easy foods that my husband can nuke for the kids while I'm away.  If I'm not cooking it, I'm not going to overthink the menu right now.

Shopping list below the fold:

Continue reading "Making Food Fun Again" »

Posted by Jenny at 10:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Denise (again) makes a very good point by mentioning my silence on the emotional issues that have helped hoist my chubby little fist full of snackies. I'm going to take a stab at revealing some of the emotional issues I have, and the way they have twisted my relationship to food.

Demon #6 - Recognition and Appreciation
Food has long been a way to reward myself.  From my earliest years:
"Finish your dinner, and you can have a popsicle." 
"Get good grades, and we'll go out for ice cream!"
Let's not forget the Starving Children in China argument.  I'm making it sound like my parents were plying us with sweet rewards daily.  This isn't the case at all.  But times of celebration, large and small, generally called for something yummy. 

In my adult life, a job well done has always been marked by a little something edible. As an office worker, a balanced ledger meant it was time for a visit to the vending machines.  As a new mommy, every breastfeeding session 'earned' a little treat. The thankless day-to-day grind of dirty diaper and dirty laundry and dirty dishes was sweetened by a little "thank you, Jenny!" in the form of a Pumpkin Spice Latte, or a handful of cookies.  This last year has brought me major improvement on that front.  No longer do I 'celebrate' each folded load of laundry with a fun-sized Snickers (or three) from a hidden stash.  No longer do I 'celebrate' the end of the day by polishing off a pint of Ben & Jerry's. 

However, the snacking urge remains.  I believe that there are several complicated emotional triggers behind this.  My need for appreciation and recognition is abated and soothed by chocolate and sweets.  I realize that I cannot continue to feed this need with food - but I am not sure how to fill the hole.  At the risk of sounding like an ungrateful wretch, I will admit that I find many of my hausfrau duties to be completely mundane.  Not only that, but I'm not particularly good at them.  Which brings me to Demon #7.

Continue reading "Emotional Demons" »

Posted by Jenny at 9:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been humbled this last year by my utter inability to shed pounds.  I've read articles and books, digested theories and made plans.  I've been angry, motivated, ambivelent and defiant.  I've used food as a punishment and as a reward.  I've "tried" lots of ideas, tested theory after theory.

And I'm still fat.

This year, I'm determined to get to the bottom of my body's refusal to let go of the weight.  And I think I'm finally onto the demons that have been plaguing me.

Demon #1 - Awareness
As much as I love to eat, I don't want to think about it.  I don't want to plan it, I don't want to anticipate my next meal, I don't want to balance my meals and I certainly don't want to journal every damn bite that crosses my lips.  This goes hand and hand with Demon #2, by the way.

Demon #2 - Honesty
I don't want to admit that sometimes I eat a handful of chocolate chips, or drink a second cup of coffee, or put an extra slice of cheese in my mouth.  I don't want to count that glass of juice I drank.  In fact, I don't want to have to be accountable at all.  I just want to eat what I want to eat, and magically lose weight.  Without revealing that I'm not as "good" at dieting as I want to believe.

Demon #3 - Eating Habits
Over the last few months, I've gradually slipped back into snacking mode.  While I agree that for many people, five small meals a day makes more sense, for me, five small meals becomes constant grazing.  I literally wander around with food in my hand all day long.  Instead of sitting at the table and eating at a sedate pace, I stand in front of the pantry or the fridge, downing a few crackers, a string cheese, a little bit of this and that.  My snacks add up to well over 500 calories a day, when I'm being honest and aware about it.  Not only that, but most of the time, I snack without thought, and without enjoyment.  My snacking has become a habit that continues even when I'm not hungry.  99% of the time, the snack is in my mouth before I've even closed the cupboard.  I need to eat three balanced meals a day - which means planning ahead, shopping smart, allowing time for cooking and eating and writing it all down.

Demon #4 - Food Choices
I'm making good choices, generally speaking.  But I tend to go heavy on the "white" flour items, and heavy on the whole-fat dairy, and skimp on lean proteins.  I always need more fruits and veggies.  Always.  And that requires planning, because really, I'm totally satisfied by a bowl of pasta with red sauce.  Who needs a salad?  (Hint: me.)  And again - the snacks add a lot of low-gratification, mindless calories.  I need to put food on my plate and appreciate each bite.  And I need to drink  more water.

Demon #5 - Conflicting Advice
Count calories.  Don't count calories.  Fat is bad.  Fat is good.  No carbs.  Good carbs.  Red meat!  No red meat.  Sugar bad!  Sugar fine. 

Here's the deal:  I'm a sucker for a persuasive argument.  And like many dieters, I want to believe that I've finally discovered The Magic Answer to all my woes.  You tell me that cabbage is the answer to my prayers, I'll try it.  I draw the line at diet drugs, and I'm done with crazy eating.  That said, however, I am working on eliminating refined sugars and flours from my diet.  One meal, one choice at a time.  Not because I believe it will make me magically thin, but because I believe it will correct some of my impulsive behaviors, and improve the health of my entire family.

Continue reading "Demons doesn't rhyme with lemons" »

Posted by Jenny at 6:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Happy New Year!  I'm happy to report although my FitDay journal has not been updated, I've been eating a healthy breakfast and lunch every day!  Dinners have been more challenging for me this week - we ate out at Chili's on Saturday night (I ate about 1/4 of an awesome blossom and had a giant margarita, then wasn't able to finish my lettuce wraps (with some sort of asian chicken).  Sunday night, we were without the kids, so we headed out to my favorite Thai restaurant.

I don't know what it is about this place, but they have been amazing every. single. time.  Of course, I don't vary my orders much.  This woman right here knows what she likes.  And what I like is mostly deep-friend vegetarian balls with tangy, sweet, spicy dipping sauces.  Things like tarot root and mung beans and yellow lentils and tofu.  Chop that stuff up, make it into a ball, fry it, and gimme some sauce with it.  I'm good to go.

I also love the salad rolls, and recently have been all about Meing Kam (which I've seen spelled 500 ways.)  It is a wonderfully flavorful appetizer, and something that although I've heard it is time consuming (and I know where to go get it if I want someone to make it for me) I would love to try to make at home. 

I posted a link over at Three Kid Circus to a site that has what looks to be a great recipe.  Even though I felt really full last night, in retrospect, I didn't overeat to the degree that I normally would have.  And the food itself was fresh, healthy and worth every bite.  I ate slowly, and lingered over each new dish, and really, that's a victory.

Continue reading "Really Thai'd One On Last Night" »

Posted by Jenny at 9:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I feel like I have rocks in my kaboose this morning.  That lead-bottomed feeling that comes from overindulgence. 

Truthfully, over the course of the day, I didn't eat too much... but I filled my dinner plate and went to town on roasted potatoes, green bean casserole, turkey and gravy, marshmellow and coconut salad (with canned fruit!) and rolls.  Mmmm.  Rolls.  And wine.  And champagne.

Is it any wonder I feel sluggish this morning?

We'll be visiting relatives over the next two days, so it is hard to say what I'll be eating and when.  In fact, this whole "logging my food in the sidebar" thing isn't working very well for me.  I write it down, and then eat other stuff when mealtime approaches.  I'm going to have to rethink that.  Maybe I'll post the week's dinner menu in the sidebar instead.

In any case - I'm going back to Dr. Clower's advice in Fat Fallacy.  Eat small.  It doesn't matter what it is - even fast food - order the smallest portion available, and eat it slowly.  Enjoy it.  I'm often guilty of ordering a giant salad at a restaurant, and finding that with toppings like fried chicken, heavy dressings and crutons galore, I might as well have ordered a burger.  Who needs a mixing-bowl sized salad, anyway?

I ate at an El Torito with my husband this week, and chose the tortilla soup and salad.  The bowl of soup alone was filling, and I couldn't finish the salad.  My husband ordered a combo, which was served on an oval platter as large as the one holding our 15 pound turkey yesterday.  It was unbelievable.  He ended up taking much of his food in a to-go bag.  We could have easily split an entree.

Sadly, my exercise streak ended yesterday, unless you count carrying limp, 45 pound kids from the car to their beds.  I'm going to take the dog for a walk this morning, and get the ball rolling again. 

And I'm turning all those leftovers into mini-turkey pot pies in a muffin tin.  Yum!

Posted by Jenny at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Today is my day on the Mother Talk Blog Tour for Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook - a charming cookbook inspired by the stories of Dr. Seuss.  From the back cover:

Award-winning cookbook author Georgeanne Brennan has joined photographer Frankie Frankeny to whip up the very first cookbook inspired by the wildly outrageous food references that abound in the Seussian oeuvre.

Well, then.  With its bright orange cover and large, glossy pages, it is quite a visual treat.  Throughout, the classic artwork and verses that inspired various recipes are prominently featured.  I sat down with the kids and had them check it out, and help me choose what we should try to make for this review.

I was gratified to recognize plenty of recipes (over 40) for kid-friendly foods, without dumbing down the process, eliminating herbs and spices, or relying on packaged foods.  The focus is on creating a delicious meal, not on special effects, although the suggested presentations are quite clever. 

You'll find a recipe for ricotta stuffed noodles "Cat's Mac and Cheese" - a multi-bean chili made with several canned ingredients "Zans' Cans Chili" - assorted charming snacks, and lots of recipes that my kids eat anyway,  hot dogs with baked beans "Nook Hook Cook Book Dogs," crispy fish and coleslaw "Finney's Freshest Fish" and more.  The process for most of the recipes is not difficult, but would obviously require adult supervision and assistance.

Last night, we chose to make Schlottz's Knots - which involved a  package of refrigerated bread-stick dough and some salt.  These were fun and easy to prepare, and were a great accent to our other dish, Hoop-Soup-Snoop Group Potato Soup.  A basic, creamy potato soup (made from potatoes, onion and milk) topped with your choice of cheddar cheese, bacon, croutons and green onion.  It was quick to prepare, and delicious. 
Behold:
If you are a fan of Dr. Seuss, you'll smile with recognition as you flip through these clever interpretations.  If you like to try jazzed up recipes for some of your everyday staples, this is a great book.  If I had one wish, it would be that the finished foods would have been more prominently featured in the artwork.  The food photography got lost amongst all the Seussian goodness.  This is a minor complaint, however. 
Georgeanne Brennan and Frankie Frankeny have created a fun, inventive addition to family-friendly cookbooks with the Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook.  You can check it here.

To see what other Mother-Talk Tour guest have to say, visit the Mother-Talk blog.

Posted by Jenny at 7:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (1)

I'm contemplating stuffing my ears with Tootsie Rolls, in the hopes of drowning out the siren song of halloween candy stuffed into out of the way locations.  Perhaps I should shove a couple of Dum-dums up my nostrils, too, to prevent myself from smelling caramel and chocolate.

I'm being good.  So, so good.  And while I can pat myself on the back for resisting, just having all this junk in the house is making me insane.  I still want it all.  By the handful.  Right now.

I've been making due by sticking with three healthy meals a day.  And pouting.  And stiffening my spine everytime I get near a forbidden zone.  And if I do find myself with my hand in a bowl of fun-size bars, I have been forcing myself to walk directly to the trash and empty my hand into the garbage.

Well, except for the eight Butterfinger bender I went on yesterday afternoon.  I learned my lesson.  I was sick, sick, sick last night.

I think I'm going to steal the idea of my friend Steph and have the Tooth Fairy pay a visit, swapping out the candy for a new toothbrush, floss (and in my kids' cases) a small toy.  I just can't have this stuff around.

Will power.  Wherefore art thou?

Posted by Jenny at 8:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Alrighty.  I sat the kids down yesterday, and we took a glance through our cookbooks and picked out some easy recipes to try.  Here's the plan:

Monday night: Ravioli Lasagne with garlic bread and green salad
Tuesday night: Chicken Soup with Rice, sliced apples.
Wednesday night: Broccoli and Turkey with a cheese sauce
Thursday night: Homemade mini-pizzas
Friday night: Crazy Sandwiches with pickles and fruit
Saturday: Mini-meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans
Sunday: Pancakes and bacon with homemade applesauce.

I'll be posting photos and recipes as we go over in the Small Slice album. 

Incidentally - our ClubMom contest for our MomBlog email digest signups is almost over... if you aren't a ClubMom member yet, click here to join ClubMom; Once you're registered, you can go to the MomBlog Digest signup page, and once a day you'll receive an email that gives you a look at what all your favorite ClubMom bloggers have written that day.  It's really cool - Big Slice right in your email box!  And - you get 50 ClubMom posts just for signing up! 

Posted by Jenny at 4:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

It occurs to me that I have lost my ever-loving mind. Here it is, what, 6:30 at night, and I am drinking my second caffinated beverage of the day. 

If you'll recall, I've been avoiding all caffeine on the recommendation of my doctor, since I have trouble sleeping and being nice when I'm zinging around. 

You know what did me in?  Besides my insanity, I mean?

Pumpkin Spice Latte.  I'm in deep doo-doo.

Continue reading "What Am I Thinking?" »

Posted by Jenny at 7:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

A few Christmases ago, my daughter received an Easy Bake oven from my parents.  I swear that when she pulled the wrapping paper off of the box, I heard angels sing and a holy light illuminated the scene. 

Along with the Barbie Styling Head and every Breyer model horse ever made, the Easy Bake oven was an object of unrequited lust.  I always wanted one.  I never got one. 

My mom, too, had always coveted the Easy Bake.  She gave it to my daughter, thinking that I wouldn't want to mess and hassle at my house, and would gladly leave it at her house.  WRONG. 

We did this whole passive-aggressive tussle right there in the middle of the gift exchange.

"No, no.  I just know you'll never have time for her to use it, and the parts will get lost..."
"No, no, if it stays at your house, she'll never have the chance to use it..."
"No, no, it could be dangerous with the little kids..."
"No, no, I'll help her with it..."

I won.  Neener neener.  The oven came home with us. 

We quickly exhausted all the dog-crap filled kits, and moved on to making our own recipes, using the Easy Bake cookbook I'd purchased from Amazon.  They were still a little on the dog-crap side of things, using instant cocoa mix and other things, but they tasted better than the mixes. 

After a few months of crazy baking, we sort of burned out on the whole thing, and the oven got put away.  Until this last month, that is.  My mom casually mentioned that she wouldn't mind having it over at her house, since we aren't using it.

What?  What?  Uh, no way, Grandma.  The Oven is coming out of retirement for another round of mini-pan action.

Taking a look at those little pans, it dawned on me that they are the perfect size for a entree.  I'm going to do an Easy Bake dinner and post the results. 

Tell me - do you have a Easy Bake Oven at home?  Do you love it more than your kid does? 

Posted by Jenny at 12:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I've received a couple of requests for tips to stay motivated on the way down the scale.  I've got ten suggestions that may help:

1) Choose an eating plan that isn't going to be a royal pain-in-the-patootie to follow. 

My personal rule on this is that I'm not going to cook two different dinners every night.  I try to include at least one food that is 'kid-friendly' in every meal, but they eat what I eat - no more Chef Boyardee or Neon Orange Mac and Cheese. 

Also, I was miserable trying to count points and calories and fat grams... I chose The Fat Fallacy because it is more relaxed on the actual structure of the eating plan.  Which leads me to number two:

2) Diets are for the short term.  Lifestyle changes, including daily exercise, a healthier diet and smaller portions, are long term solutions. 

Diets sort of suck.  I mean, you can really and truly lose weight, but what happens when you do?  If you lose all the weight, or some of the weight - but you've been eating in a way that is going to be difficult to maintain for the rest of your life, you're not going to be motivated to keep eating that way.  You don't become thin and lose your taste for cheesecake - so either you have to learn to eat in moderation, and deal with stress in another non-food related way, or you're going to be dealing with some backsliding. 

3) Get yourself a set of eating rules to live by, and post them on your fridge.

When I was thin, I had these unwritten rules that I lived by that helped me monitor the portion sizes I ate, the types of food I ordered in restaurants, and the exchanges I would allow.  For example, an ice cream cone was fine, if I took a walk on my lunch break.  I always had a salad before a meal, and planned to take half of my entree portion home.

My rules now:  A serving of protein at breakfast.  A salad for lunch.  No sodas.  One glass of juice a day.  Three meals, no snacks.  I shoot for 8 servings of veggies and 2 of fruit a day.  I fail on this, a lot.  But when I'm reaching into the fridge to make dinner, I try to pull out a veggie in every color I have.

4) Change the way you grocery shop - have a plan.

I really started packing on the pounds when I first lived with my husband.  He grew up on Hamburger Helper and canned chili over rice, Spaghettios and Mac and Cheese.  We'd eat these giant plates of these boxed entrees and maybe a single vegetable on the side.  I gained about 30 pounds that first year.

I used to go into the store without a plan.  I'd just wander down the middle aisles of the store, tossing packages of side dishes and boxes of entrees into the cart.  Now, I plan out my menu for the week, make a detailed shopping list, and since I'm not shopping for mixes or kits, I find that my shopping rarely takes me into the middle aisles.  I spend most of my time in the produce section and the dairy case, with quick stops at the bakery and meat counter. 

5) Change the way you cook.

Instead of relying on nutritionally bankrupt kits and mixes, try fixing some real foods in a simple way.  Cooking doesn't have to involve hours and big bucks.  Take a look at my Small Slice album to see what kinds of foods we eat around here.

6) Add in some exercise that makes you smile.

We all know that we are supposed to be ''feeling the burn when we workout.  For full-figured women like myself, it doesn't take much to go straight past burn into meltdown.  I hate sweating.  I hate hurting.  And I hate any exercise that makes me do either. 

But here's what I've learned about myself:  I am a lousy runner.  But I love to walk.  I'm  horrible at lap swimming, but I love to flip around and pretend I'm a synchronized swimmer or a mermaid.  I would rather die than do aerobics - unless it is some corny offshoot like Cardio Striptease.  I like to play, rather than work. 

Here's the other thing - working out, or playing hard, it makes me a nicer person.  It burns off some of the frustration I carry around from parenting, it gets all those lovely endorphins rushing around, and it allows me to laugh.  I laugh because I can't get the steps right.  I laugh because my kids are delighted at my mermaid impressions.  I laugh because I'm not focusing on the end of the 20 minute tape, or the last mile I need to walk.  I'm laughing because I'm having fun.

You don't get a medal for suffering through boring workouts.  Find something that sounds like fun, and get busy.  Netflix rents fitness DVDs.  There are all sorts of cheap or free exercise classes through local recreation and parks departments.  Heck, just go to the park with your kids, and do whatever they do for an hour.  You'll be amazed at the fun you're having, and the quality workout you get.  And if you don't like something, try something else.

7) Blog it.

I know that blogging is new to a lot of people, and can be scary.  Few women would willingly talk about their weight loss plans online, right?  WRONG.  Check out the Fat Fighters directory in my sidebar.  Do a Google search.  You'll see that there is a huge community of bloggers who are cheering each other on, and sharing their progress. 

Feeling fat, isolated and depressed can make it difficult to reach out to people in your own community.  Our own families are often unable to motivate us to make the life changes we really want to make.  Having a place to record your thoughts, connect with other people who face similar challenges, and build a community of your own is invaluable for those of us who don't have a support system in real life.

The internet is a fantastic place to find support, information and friendship.  Free blogs are available through www.blogspot.com and a zillion other sites. 

8) Appreciate who you are today.

There is a lot of self-loathing that goes on in the head of a dieter.  Many of us eat for entertainment, or as a coping mechanism.  We become angry with ourselves for letting ourselves gain weight.  We often don't take the time we should with our appearance.   What does it matter, right?

If you are dragging around in pants that are two sizes too small, or two sizes too big, or stretched out men's teeshirts, or constantly wearing yoga pants or sweats, here's my advice:  take a friend who will be honest, and go shopping.  You need to have a couple of fresh outfits that fit you and flatter you at your current weight.  It doesn't have to cost a fortune - just a new pair of jeans and a few fresh teeshirts can be enough to change your whole outlook.

Respect yourself now, or you'll never have the strength to keep on keeping on with your diet.  Forgive yourself for being heavy, let go of the anger, and allow yourself to move forward. 

9) Expect some failure.

Rules were made to be broken, and sometimes you just need some cheesecake.  If you fall off the dieting wagon, never fear.  Once you surface from your sugar-coma, acknowledge that you overdid it, and take note of how your body feels.    That sluggish feeling that follows overeating isn't a good one.  Rather than punishing  yourself with more overeating, or a drastically sparse day featuring only iceberg lettuce, take a deep breath and go back to the planned menu. 

If you spiral out of control on vacation, or if stress causes you to lose control, remember that they don't crown winners for losing weight, nor is anyone keeping score to make sure that you never step out of bounds.  Take a deep breath, and start again. 

10) Set small goals and celebrate each one.

When you have lots of weight to lose, the thought of all those pounds can discourage even the peppiest of optimists.  Trust me.  I'm three months into this, and I've only lost 8 pounds.  It's frustrating me to the extreme. 

When I reach 10 pounds lost, I'm going to get a massage.  I am not focusing on the whole 50 pounds - I've got two pounds to go, and then I'll work on that next ten. 

These are just a few of the ways I try to keep myself on track.  I'd love to hear some of your tips for staying motivated when you are working towards a weight loss goal.

Posted by Jenny at 4:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night, I took a preliminary run to the grocery store to stock up on items to send in the kids lunches.  I left all the kids and my husband at home, and wandered up and down the aisles, unable to collect my thoughts enough to shop wisely, and several months out of practice with the whole lunch packing thing. 

Wait, I'm about a year out of practice... for most of the school year, I allowed the kids to just buy their lunches at school - which meant that they ate a ton of pizza.  And chocolate milk.  Hhummph.

My kids aren't really sandwich eaters - they like grilled cheese and sometimes peanut butter, but they don't eat tuna or turkey or ham, and they usually arrive at home after school with a twisted, smashed sandwich, sweating in its unopened plastic baggie.  They will eat bananas at home, but send one in a lunchbox, and fuggedabouddit.  I am trying to stay away from pure garbage - "fruit" snacks, chips, cookies, technicolor yogurts in plastic tubes... basically, the mainstay of the school lunch, if you ask my kids. 

So what do I feed them?  I need quick, healthy and not-too-messy.  I need a snack and a lunch that will get them through a school day that lasts 7 1/2 hours.  Here's what I've come up with so far:

Cheese
Whole grain crackers
Hard-boiled eggs
Celery with peanut butter
Yogurt
Sliced french bread
Baby carrots
Nuts and dried fruit
Granola bars?  I have to find a good brand that isn't all crap.
Bagels with cream cheese
Apple
Olives

I'm seriously drawing a blank here.  I need some ideas. 

We've made good strides this summer with real foods - but the elementary lunch room is a hotbed of faux-foods.  From those Lunchables with the processed everything individually wrapped, to the aisles of affordable but nutritionally bankrupt crap at Costco, parents are offered all sorts of quick and easy lunchbox options - most of them as chemically-laden as a can of spray paint.  I've been smugly avoiding the purchase of this stuff all summer, but I sense a disturbance in the Force ahead.  I have to be strong, and trust that my kids will eat the healthy foods that I pack for them.  I'm hoping that by getting them involved in the lunch choices, I can convince them not to spend the lunch hour mooching off of their Lunchable packin' friends.

I'm officially down to 172 as of this morning, and while it feels good to have some success, I think Mel has the right idea, and I need to have a short-term goal to focus on.  My 34th birthday is coming up in early October, and I'd love to be down to 155 pounds.  That's a stretch, considering that it has taken me three months to lose 8 pounds. 

That's 17 pounds.  By October 6th.  I had better get myself busy.

Posted by Jenny at 4:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

A few years back, I did all my shopping online.  For everything.  As a result I've ended up on who knows how many catalog mailing lists, and I get a hefty stack every month.  I've written to have myself removed from the lists but it seems that I get re-signed up every time I so much as blink.

Anyway, today I was flipping through the pages of "Time for Me" - a collection of weight loss aids, miracle cures, girdles and vibrators.  I came across this little gem in the Amazing! Weight Loss! section:
These flavor sprays have no calories, no carbs, no sugar and no fat.  What's not to like, right?  But what exactly do you put into a spray bottle to simulate the taste of Smoked Bacon?  Or Cheddar Cheese? 

This is exactly the type of chemical dieting mumbo jumbo that made me choose The Fat Fallacy in the first place.  I wanted to see what was in these things, so I clicked over to the Flavor Spray site.  From the get-go, my hackles were raised.  First of all, they use a black and white graphic showing food being spritzed with this stuff, and suddenly going technicolor.  The thing is, the food they are showing looks pretty damn good before it is colorized.  I'm not buying the fact that a spritz of Mochaccino juice on my fruit salad is going to make it better.  What's wrong with eating fruit salad that tastes like, I don't know, real fruit?

I loved this part:

Also,             our Sweet and Sinful Sprays can be sprayed directly into your mouth.             (do not use our Savory sprays in this manner due to their concentrations).

When I was a teenager, my mom and I both went on some sort of packaged diet plan.  I want to say the time I'm thinking of was Nutrisystem, but we tried quite a few different ones.  Anyway, we were sitting at the kitchen table, each with a tall glass of orange liquid that we understood from the packaged powder to be an "orange sherbert shake."

"Mmm," said my mom.  "Tastes just like...orange powder."

Continue reading "Smoked Bacon, Anyone?" »

Posted by Jenny at 1:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

...The tough probably do something about it, unlike me.  I spent most of yesterday feeling shell-shocked and whiny.  I made falafel and salad for dinner, and about 3 bites in, I didn't feel half as bad as I thought.  By the time I was finished with dinner, I was mellowed out and able to think clearly.

This week, I'm going to put myself in remedial eating school, because I've been sliding backwards with my eating - not in portion sizes, but in every other area.  It is affecting me both physically and emotionally. 

The thing about my hissy-fit tantrum misunderstanding pig photo taking breakdown this weekend is that it is completely out of character.  I am, at least 99% of the time, comfortable in my own skin.  I assume that people like me.  I don't feel judged or secondary to my pants size.  I go about my business and don't take myself too seriously. 

Yet, my husband makes a random comment and I go off the deep-end about it.  Suddenly I'm the 1000 pound pig in a box, a side-show attraction.  Could my mismanaged eating and sporadic exercise be the cause of this sudden attitude change?

I'm thinking it can.  Here's why -

I've been focusing a large part of my diet on processed grains and dairy fats.  I've reintroduced caffeine to my diet, near-daily.  I haven't been eating my daily salad for lunch, and my breakfasts have either been skipped, or contain no protein.  My dinners have been okay, but the focus has been on the pasta, the potatoes, the rice... with balance, this would be fine.  I am out of balance.

Continue reading "When The Going Gets Tough..." »

Posted by Jenny at 8:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm sitting here typing away with a stack of three Thin Mints cookies sitting near my elbow.  They've been sitting there since earlier this evening when my husband helpfully brought them to me.  I haven't decided whether or not to eat them.  I certainly haven't eaten much else today.

I have a confession to make.  I am really struggling with getting back with the flow of my schedule.  There is a chaos to my days, and it interferes with eating well.  I've fallen back into the habit of feeding the kids, with the intention of feeding myself at a leisurely pace after they've lost interest.  What ends up happening is that I end up skipping meals.

Surprise, surprise.  I'm not losing weight because my body is hoarding calories.

I have another confession.  I just ate one of the cookies.  Mmmmm.

It has been at least a week since I had my regular burst of daily exercise, too.  I am seeing a dramatic shift in my moods, and my abililty to bounce back.  Earlier this year, I was struggling mightily to keep myself level.  I was alternating between frustration and apathy over many of the important tasks I should take pride in.  Suspecting seasonal depression, my parents suggested that I see a doctor and find out what I should do.

Continue reading "3-2-1" »

Posted by Jenny at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

My husband decided to do a little unsanctioned grocery shopping this weekend.  He went for a haircut and came home with cans of (dog crap) chili, bags of potato and tortilla chips, beef jerky, Top Ramen, artificial everything "ice cream" and a case of Coke. 

I've given up caffeine recently, at the suggestion of my OB-GYN who thinks that maybe, just maybe I don't need any help achieving orbit, and that my recent episodes of Incredible Hulk-type rage over, say, a folded load of laundry being dumped onto the floor, were related to caffeine. I also don't do soda any more.  I don't buy it, don't order it, don't... oh my GOD hand me one of those cans right now.

I sucked down three Cokes in the space of an afternoon.  And yesterday, my left (injured, but still) leg swelled up like a balloon.  It was horrible, and painful and ugly and I'm blaming it on the Coke.  Because really, why else would that happen?  No more soda for me.

Nothing says "I support your effort to feed our family healthy, non-dog-crap foods" like five bags of pure dog-crap.  I am not mad about it, but it is frustrating that so far, all of us still really crave the bad stuff.  I'm doing well with avoiding it, and I know that my tastes are truly adapting to embrace whole, real foods.  But I do wish that the family would be as sold on the Fat Fallacy eating as I am. 

Take last night, for example.  I made a beautiful Cobb salad and warm french rolls, with homemade chicken soup.  (Photos over in SmallSlice)  The kids ate some of the chicken soup, and the rolls, but wouldn't touch the salad.  Well, they ate some bacon and boiled egg, and some of the avocado, but they didn't want anything else.  I chopped and fussed and chopped and fussed for an hour on that damn salad. 

I'm thinking I really need to simplify my menus, and prepare simple, non-mixed dishes for the kids.  Chicken.  Broccoli.  Apples.  Rice.  Things that don't take any sales-pitch.

Posted by Jenny at 9:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

You know what is the best thing ever?  Starting a new workout plan that insists that on the first day, you rest.  That was my yesterday.  I walked around, shooting my mouth off about how "I'm on Day One of my new training program, yes, that's right, I'm going to run a half-marathon."

Day One = REST.  Totally awesome.

Today, however, was Day Two.  The task - run 1.5 miles. 

In all my bragging yesterday, my friend Kim (Yes, Dog-Crap Analogy Kim) caught wind of what I'm up to, and insisted that she, too, is going to run a half-marathon.  Well.  That girl is always one-upping me.  First the monkey bars, and NOW the half-marathon? 

Actually, we decided to meet and run laps around the park while our two youngest played.  We figured out that we needed to run around the park path 6 times to get our distance.  It would be an exercise and play-date!  Lookie at us multitaskers! 

We decided to drive to the park, because we figured we wouldn't want to walk home after.  This was a good call - but not because we were too tired.  See, no one asked the toddlers what they would enjoy doing on a lovely Tuesday morning.  My youngest was okay with it.  Sort-of.  Kim's son barricaded himself in the van, and refused to come out and play. 

With some slight of hand, and a well-timed grab, we got him out, and brought him to the picnic bench.  Then we did some pathetic, self-conscious stretches, and I took off for my first few laps.  After the first lap, my three-year-old joined in.  She trotted just ahead of me, setting a good pace, and yelled encouragement back to me. 

"Come on, Mommy!  You can do it!"

I puffed back to the picnic bench after three laps, and Kim did her first three looking like a champ.  The kids and I stood along the walk and cheered for her as she cruised into lap three.  My daughter joined Kim on one of her laps, too.  Who needs a personal trainer?  My three-year-old is totally up for the job.

I had a solid fourth lap, and then my shins started to ache.  Knowing that I had horseback riding lessons in an hour, and I would be needing my legs, I used that as a lame (I know, it was lame) excuse not to finish my last two laps.  While I did some more awkward and self-conscious stretching, Kim trotted around the park three more times.  She kicked my hiney, man.  Again. 

While Kim made her way around the path, I corralled the two little monsters into my van for a private viewing of SpongeBob on our portable DVD player.  You know, I used to scoff at the moms with the DVD players in the car.  That's why it has windows, I said.  Kids get too much TV already, they don't need no stinkin' movies in the car, too, said I.  Then we got one for our upcoming trip and I owe lots of moms a big apology and maybe a gift certificate to NetFlix.  Best. Invention. Ever.  EVER.

Oh!  And in further Kim News - she witnessed me making it all the way across the monkey bars at the school!  I did it!  I did it!  My arms didn't fall off!  Want to know the secret? 

Here it is:  If you hang 179 pounds of woman off of two stumpy, non-callused hands, you are not going to be able to do it.  You can't just hang.  You have to start off swinging. 

So, Kim and I will meet again for a rematch on Thursday.  We've got two toddlers, six laps, and bragging rights riding on the outcome.  Provided we can even walk on Thursday.  Heh.

I'm also down one pound to 178.  This is tedious - but I think I know what the problem is.

Ready for the bad news? 

I haven't been eating hardly anything.  I haven't been cooking hardly anything.  I knew when I decided to take on Fat Fallacy as my lifestyle guide, I would have a hard time with scheduling.  But this last week and a half has kicked my sore buttocks all over  the place.

I won't eat unless I'm able to sit down and appreciate the food I'm eating.  I won't eat in the car, nor in front of the computer.  Not in front of the TV either.  I need about 30 minutes, three times a day, just for eating.  And I'm not finding it.

With the last week of school festivities in full swing, I've been galloping from one place to the next, leaving the house before 8 am and often not returning until after 5 pm.  I'm attending field trips, driving from school to stable to store to school again with no pitstops at home.  I've skipped breakfast AND lunch for the last four days.  This has resulted in really low energy and no interest in cooking a real dinner.  Add in the fact that my husband is on a business trip, and I'm preparing for a week-long vacation with the three kids and a cross-country flight, and you've got a recipe for diet disaster.

Tonight, I ate a Happy Meal.  It was gross.

I'm thinking at bare minimum, I need to eat a protein rich breakfast.  I hate to shovel the food in, but this wishful thinking that my schedule is going to miraculously allow me time to eat, while contemplating the texture and aroma of each bite, is delusional.  Especially this week, when all the planets have aligned, keeping me from having any free time.

I'm not allowing my body to get the nutrients it needs, and it's affecting my potential weight loss.  I need to find the time to eat.  I need to slow down. 

I have this weird, illogical perfectionism streak.  It tells me that I shouldn't take up exercise if I can't do it right. It tells me that I know the "right way" to eat now, and by golly, I'm going to do it that way.  I'm not giving myself the space to be flexible.  I mean, I know I don't want to mindlessly eat in the car, or shovel handfuls of cereal straight from the pantry, but to forgo eating because I can't do it "right" is crazy.  But that's what I've been doing.  And it isn't working out.

Balance.  I'm seeking balance. 

Posted by Jenny at 9:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (19) | TrackBacks (0)

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned.  I have not replaced the batteries in my digital camera since Saturday night, and you have missed out on some spectacular examples of Dinners That Are Totally Not On The Diet.  I have also stalled on getting going with my Strip Tease Aerobics DVD, but I promise to share my uh, moves.  I've been stalling about getting back on the scale, but I am doing it tomorrow morning after my weekend of diet debauchery. 

It would totally serve me right if the numbers have climbed.  I mean, let's take Sunday for example.  I had a chocolate donut for breakfast, hot chocolate at the ice skating rink as a reward for towing my three-year-old around for an hour and a half, and then topped it off with a giant slice of pizza for lunch.  I mean giant as in as large as my head.  And I have a huge head.  I didn't eat dinner, because I was so full from the giant pizza.

(Tonight?  I feasted on a barbecued hot dog and baked beans, corn on the cob, three-bean salad and potato chips.  I would hang my head in shame, but it was good and I didn't stuff myself, and besides, it's hard to type with your chin on your chest.  I'm just sayin'.)

This healthy eating is easy for me, as an individual, but my family...let's just say they are fighting it a bit.  Oh, okay.  A lot.  They want "fun food" and "easy food."   

I've been feeling quite victorious about eating smaller meals, and eliminating snacks. However, it has dawned on me that I am still mindlessly munching while I cook.  I sample everything, and all those little tastes and nibbles add up.  No wonder I'm not very hungry when I sit down to eat.  I'm using small plates, but I'm probably still eating double what I should be eating, volume-wise.

My mission for this week is to eliminate the sampling and taste-testing.  The food crosses my lips when I sit in front of my plate.  Not before, and not after.  This might give me a twitching eye from all the effort it will take me.  Hey, I wonder if that will burn calories?

So!  Monday is our menu day here at Big Slice of Life, Small Slice of Cheesecake.  I've decided to make this a "fun finger food" week to encourage the kids to linger and chat during the meal.  I belatedly remembered that this makes me like the Cher character in Mermaids.  That's actually pretty funny, don't you think? 

So!  Without futher ado, here's some fun food for week three:

Tuesday:  Grilled cheese sandwiches, salad, cream of broccoli soup and fruit  ( mini croissants, split and topped with cheddar cheese, broiled until bubbly, green salad and cream of broccoli soup with sliced apples.

Wednesday: Spanikopita, veggies and ranch dip, sliced fruit (phylo dough and butter wrapped around spinach, water chestnuts and feta cheese, accented with oregano and parsley and seasoned with paprika, sliced carrots and celery and jicama and whatever else with ranch dip and sliced melon.)

Thursday: veggie potstickers, shrimp cocktail, cucumber rounds with dill dip (Cabbage, carrot, celery, extra-firm tofu, soy sauce, in samosa dough steamed, with shrimp cocktail and sliced cucumber served with plain yogurt flavored with fresh dill.)

Friday: Shish-kebabs - chicken, veggies over rice with watermelon (Skewered and grilled chicken, veggies -  mushrooms, peppers, onion, whatever else and steamed brown rice, served with sliced watermelon.)

Saturday: Homemade cheese pizza, tossed salad, sliced fruit (homemade pizza dough, topped with fresh tomato, sliced summer squash and feta cheese, served with a tossed salad and sliced fruit.)

Sunday:  Falafel pitas, avocado and tomato salad, tomato soup (falafel balls, served in a whole wheat pita with lettuce and avocado and tomato salad, with a cup of tomato soup.)

Monday:  Turkey meatballs, garlic bread, roasted zucchini and peppers (Ground turkey, finely diced celery and carrot, parsley, oats, egg and soy sauce, pan roasted and served with garlic bread and roasted veggies.)

Tuesday: Nachos with refried beans and jicama salad (Tortilla chips, topped with shredded cheese, salsa, sour cream, avocados and refried beans and served with a jicama and lemon salad.)

As always, if you have any questions about this menu, or ideas you'd like to share, leave me a comment or email me at bigslicejenny@gmail.com.

Posted by Jenny at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night, my husband and three children joined my friend Kim and her husband and children at their house for a good-bye party for a long-time friend who is moving to Oregon.  This is a wonderful, positive move for her young family, and we are excited for them.

However, as we sat around in the cooling evening air, sipping margaritas and watching the kids play, we bemoaned the fact that we haven't done more spontaneous get-togethers over the last few years.  It seems like the swirl of daily life and the ages of our children have kept us apart, even as we patted ourselves on the back for staying close to one another.

I was responsible for bringing the food, and I provided a healthy, fresh spread that even the kids enjoyed.  We nibbled and drank, and drank and nibbled.  It felt good to just relax and not worry about whether or not I was 'being bad'  - I was not over eating, and I was enjoying fresh, real foods at a leisurely pace.  That's they way it should be, all the time.

Just like trying to get together with my friends and their families (and relax, rather than chase my kids all over the place) or enjoying a sedate, relaxing meal, I find that exercise is something that I've either avoided, or rushed through, with no sense of enjoyment. 

I used to scarf my food.  I spent social gatherings racing around after my kids, unable to finish a conversation.  I gave up trying to exercise because I couldn't make the time to do it alone, the way I wanted to.

The Fat Fallacy really emphasizes that we should be eating leisurely meals as a family.  Ha!  Ha ha ha!  My children laugh in the face of leisure.  They feel that all conversation should either be about them, or about the things they want to discuss.  They, too, have learned to eat quickly and scamper away from the table.  This eating together, and enjoying it, has been a huge challenge for my family, one that we are not winning.

But no more.  This week, I'm going to start treating meal times like a party.  We'll gather, nibble, converse, drink, circulate between courses - in short, we're going to enjoy ourselves.   I think this week's menu will be light, appetizer fare, paired with simple salads and entrees that don't require a lot of cooking. 

I'm also going to try to step up my daily activities to make them more active.  More energy, more enthusiasm...more fun.  The kids inspire me with their imaginative play and willingness to scramble over every rock, curb and post in our path.  I'm going to follow their lead, and see how I do this week. 

Keep the exercise challenges coming!  I've just received the Strip Tease Workout from NetFlix, and will be giving it a spin tomorrow.  Photos WILL follow.

Heaven help us all.
 

Posted by Jenny at 3:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

If you were following along last week - you'll notice that I dropped two full meals off of the menu plan. Wait! Actually three! I've still got a whole chicken in my freezer, and frozen green beans, and a bunch of small red potatoes, and a whole bunch of stuff for lettuce wraps...

What I'm discovering is that the sheer amount of food I'm cooking is producing heaps of leftovers. Instead of eating, say, a giant plate of pasta and nothing else, I'm eating small portions of salad, fruit, bread, grains and entrees, and I'm totally satisfied. I'm eating more food than ever, but I'm not eating more of it. I'm feeling victorious, even though I've lost a grand total of 2 pounds. So I'm back at 179. This week, that number is goin' down. *Shaking my fist in the air*

This weekend, I spent an hour on the mini-trampoline, watching an episode of What Not To Wear while I jumped and did kicks and twists. I love jumping on that thing. It is exactly like being a little kid on a hotel bed. Boing, boing, boing... I spin around, and do arm circles, and then do fast little jumps, and then big, booming jumps that rattle the windows in their frames and cause the foundation to creak. I only wish it was bigger, so that I could do butt-bounces. Because THAT would rock.

I also made my first attempt at Steph's 50 Pushup challenge. I did 5 good ones, and then collapsed on #6, and whimpered for the rest of the afternoon. Behold the lame attempt. I think I'm going to have to *gasp* work up to it. Which means more than one attempt. Which means pushups. Probably daily. Craaaaaap. Thanks, Steph!

On Sunday, my husband and I took the three kids ice skating. We had a blast! Our rink allows the kids to push chairs around, and they don't play any music with suggestive lyrics during this special session for little kids. I kid you not, we were skating around to Hava Nagila and The Chicken Dance. We want to go again soon. For the music alone. I'll be posting more about this over at Three Kid Circus.

Alright, so let's talk menus: Week Two, represent!

Monday - Oven chicken and dumplings and apple sauce. Chicken, red potatoes, carrots, celery, onion and garlic, corn, peas and maybe red bell pepper, veggie stock to cover. Flour, milk, butter and cheese and parsley. Baking powder and salt and pepper.

Tuesday - Samosas & cucumber/yogurt salad, melon. Potatoes, carrots, peas, onion,garlic, parsley. Butter, and curry powder. Flour, olive oil and salt. Whole milk plain yogurt, cucumber, garlic, black pepper. Watermelon

Wednesday - Allspice mashed sweet potatoes, zucchini and eggplant bake with red pepper coulis. Sweet potatoes, allspice, butter, eggplant, zucchini, red bell peppers, water chestnuts, olive oil, panko crumbs, butter, eggs

Thursday - Pasta with parmesean and butter, chopped salad, bread. Pasta, parmesean, butter, jicama, tomatoes, celery, french bread,

Friday - Avocado with baby shrimp, butter lettuce salad, fruit slush drinks,  chips and salsa.  One avocado per person - fresh baby shrimp, cherry tomatoes, sweet onion, salt and pepper, watercress, butter lettuce - orange juice blended with a banana and ice.  chips and salsa.

Saturday - Quiche Lorraine green beans, fruit salad. One sweet onion, 1/2 pound bacon, swiss cheese, heavy cream, four eggs, pie crust, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper, frozen green beans, strawberries, bananas, apples, grapes.

Sunday - Pork tenderloin, baked potatoes, succotosh. One small pork tenderloin, one russet potato for each person, butter and sour cream, packaged frozen succotosh.

Dr. Clower suggests a glass of red wine with your dinner.  Now, I'm not a wine expert, so pick your favorite.  And he also suggests that you finish your meal with a bit of rich cheese, or a piece of dark chocolate and a cup of coffee or tea. 

I think we should get Dr. Clower to give us a chocolate eating lesson. 

Okay, so let's break this down a bit more.  Here's the shopping list. 

Posted by Jenny at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday, I skipped breakfast, and ended up snacking throughout the morning.  I was disappointed with myself, but by lunch, when I sat down to a lovely salad and bread, I decided to learn from my mistake, instead of beating myself up about it.  This morning, I enjoyed a mini-bagel with an egg, scrambled with basil, red bell pepper, onion and a banana.  I know I'll be fine until lunch. 

Eating this way requires some forethought, and a pantry and fridge full of ingredients.  That is pretty intimidating for a mom like me, with a husband who works long hours and three busy kids.  I spent five dollars on ingredients for my homemade mac and cheese, and I had to laugh, because I could have made boxed mac and cheese for less than a dollar.  Why is it so expensive to cook from scratch?

The truth is, my mac and cheese recipe made enough for two dinners plus a week's worth of lunches for all three kids.  I packed away the leftovers in the freezer, for a day when the kids don't like the dinner I'm preparing, or I need a break from cooking.  How great is that?  You don't get that with your 99 cent box of neon orange mac and cheese.  It didn't even take any more time. 

I had become leery of cooking from scratch for a long while, because the lure of 'easy' and 'quick' and 'cheap' was powerful.  But I'm finding that each of the dinners I've made have taken me about a half-hour to put together.  I spend at least that much time making things from boxes and cans and freezer pouches. 

I took my grocery list to the store and spent about $180 on the things I had listed.  (I didn't shop at Trader Joe's this time... I find that I always save money there, but Safeway is right around the corner, and they have pull-ups.  Yes, my three-and-a-half-year-old is still in pull-ups.  SIgh.)  I expected that this shopping trip would be a week's worth of food.  But I will seriously be getting two weeks (or more for the non-perishables) out of my money.  When I figure that I spend $20 a shot at a fast-food restaurant to feed my family one meal, and cooking at home works out to about $12 a day for the whole family... that quick and easy doesn't sound so great anymore.

"U.S. residents spend more on fast food than they do on movies, books, magazines, newspapers, and videos combined.  Americans paid over $110 billion on burgers, fried chicken, and other fast foods in 2000, compared with $6 billion in 1970."  Will Clower, The Fat Fallacy, page 145

This is all a learning process for me.  I'm already thinking ahead to my menu and shopping list for next week... I'm starting to see that there are many tasty, simple ways to feed my family that don't have to have a brand name or pretty package, and it's exciting.  As my portion sizes continue to shrink, I'm more satisfied by the variety of foods that I'm eating, and looking forward to not only eating the next meal, but preparing it, too.  This is a huge change in my attitude.

One other facet that I haven't discussed is the amount of meat that I am eating.  Says Dr. Will:

"This is the French diet.  So we are going to eat (in most ways) like the French.  Refer to the earlier section on comparing food pyramids of the world.  The least healthy culture chosen (ours) has the highest recommended levels of red meats.

Coincidence?  Maybe, but I'm going with the populations that don't have all our heart problems.

• In The Fat Fallacy diet, limit red meat consumption to approximately one time per certified blue moon, or once every other week, whichever comes first.
• Here's the hierarchy: Eat mostly fish, then chicken, then lean pork, then red meats."            Will Clower, The Fat Fallacy, page 229

We're not big meat eaters, so you'll see that most weeks, we eat a little chicken, a little fish, sometimes some turkey, and the occasional bacon.  But that's pretty much it.  I'll be posting my meals to the photo album over to the left side, and will tackle my first exercise challenge this weekend.  Have a great weekend!

Posted by Jenny at 9:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (1)

Every afternoon, my two older children have swimming lessons at our local pool.  With three kids, the smart thing to do would be to bring my bathing suit and play in the water with my three year old while waiting for the older two to finish their lessons. 

Actually, I've planned on doing that, I really have.  However, I sunburned my back so badly at the beach on Mother's Day that a soft tee shirt is excruciating.  I'm going to have to wait until it heals before I get back in the water.  Not that I'm so excited about prancing around in my swimming suit, mind you.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I took the kids to the pool that our homeowners dues pay for.  There was no one there, and I allowed myself to lay back in the water, floating without a care in the middle of the deep end.  I breathed in and out, in and out, and let myself drift on the surface.  I stopped thinking about my large thighs.  The water held me up, and I felt the tension just melt away.  I must have floated for ten, fifteen minutes at a stretch, only bobbing up to check on the kids.  It was so peaceful that I have been craving a repeat performance.  Alas, I am a lobster. 

Granted, swimming in a public pool with my three year old, and half the town isn't exactly peaceful.  But it would keep me safe from the siren song of the concession stand. 

The Fat Fallacy is all about eating real food.  Real.  Not things like Skittles and Coca-cola and nacho cheese.  Gummy worms are not real food.  Red Vines?  Totally not real food.  I knew I would be coming home and having a nice dinner of homemade mac and cheese, and I was looking forward to it.  I walked my three-year-old around the pavement four times before I thought to check and see if they would have anything "real" to snack on. 

I ended up getting tortilla chips coated with Que Bueno! Nacho "cheese" out of a pump.  I only ate a few, and felt guilty as hell, but man.  Why do I love that stuff?

My friend Kim pointed out to me that as consumers, we just accept the additives and mystery scientific-sounding ingredients in our food.  We don't even know what half this stuff is, and yet we put it in our grocery carts, and into our mouths.

"What is "red#40"? It's a dye.  Right.  But what is that?  They don't have to list the ingredients of dyes.  There are dyes in lots of things: paint, plastics, clothes.  Do we really need them in our food?

The same goes for drinks.  If you don't know what it is, don't drink it.  Just try to say the ingredients on the back of a can of bubbly black, clear, or neon cola.  Read the labels and you often see lactic acid in there - that's the muscle toxin that gives you cramps when you exercise.  Another one is phosphoric acid.  Prior to returning to graduate school, I was a research chemist and had to keep this stuff under the hood if I was even going to take the lid off."

~Will Clower, The Fat Fallacy, page 188-189

Kim's whole point was this:  if you tell someone that their food had just a little dog crap in it, would they still eat it?  I wouldn't.  Even if it was a microscopic amount.  I'm not eating dog crap.  Nope.  Not doing it.  Yet, today I sidled up to the counter and bought myself a paper dish of Que Bueno, which could contain dog crap, for all I know.  I just don't know.

I'm going to be putting all future foods through the dog-crap test - if I don't know for sure, I'm not eating it.   

Posted by Jenny at 9:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

I spent Mother's Day at the beach with my family, and despite having a variety of chips, cookies and other goodies to choose from, I was pretty good.  I spent my time toe deep in the freezing water, and ended up with a horrific sunburn on my back.  Lesson learned: maybe have someone over the age of five put on your sunblock.  The backs of my thighs are sore today, too, from the ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch sprints across the hot sand.  Last night found me face down in a chocolate cream pie, in an effort to make myself forget about the PAIN radiating from my back.  Ow.  And also, yum!

Although I was due to grocery shop on Saturday, somehow we managed to scavange for our meals this weekend.  I'll be heading off to the store today, and as promised, I made up a menu for the week, and a grocery list.  I'll elaborate on these as I cook them, but I'm not much of a recipe girl.  I like to wing it.  Here it is: 

Breakfasts –

orange juice and tea

Scrambled egg, half piece toast with butter

Oatmeal with brown sugar and shot of cream

Mini bagel with melted swiss cheese

Whole milk yogurt

Lunch –

green salad with dried fruit, lots of variety, hard boiled egg or tuna or something, and sliced French bread with olive oil and vinegar dressing.

Things I want to try to eat every day:

Sweet potato

Banana

Apple

Leafy Greens

Olive Oil

French Bread

Nuts

Edamame

Monday Dinner - 

Lazy Chicken (TJ’s vodka pasta sauce, chicken in slow cooker) served over pappardelle noodles, with steamed broccoli, fruit salad and bruchetta baguettes for appetizer. 

(Frozen chicken, jar of pasta sauce, noodles, strawberries, bananas, apples, cinnamon, cherry or plum tomatoes, basil, sweet onion, olive oil, balsamic vinegar broccoli, parmesean, baguette whipping cream.)

Tuesday Dinner – 

Homemade macaroni and cheese, chopped jicama and avocado salad with lime, fresh bread, tomato soup for appetizer, melon for dessert.

(Milk, noodles, butter, panko crumbs, mild cheddar cheese, jicama, avocado, frozen corn, lime, tomato soup, watermelon.)

Wednesday Dinner –

Baked sweet potatoes topped with chili beans and sour cream, steamed brown rice, peas.  Sliced red bell peppers, sautéed in olive oil with onion and garlic.  Ice cream for dessert

(Sweet potatoes, canned chili beans, sour cream, brown rice, frozen peas, red bell peppers onion garlic.  Vanilla ice cream.)

Thursday Dinner –

Fried rice with egg, almonds, peas, carrots, water chestnuts and snow peas.  Chicken lettuce wraps (chopped chicken, grated carrot, chopped mushrooms, hoisin sauce, chopped water chestnuts, chopped bamboo shoots, chopped almonds, oyster sauce – with two heads butter lettuce) .  Cucumber salad rice vinegar. Edamame. 

(Left over rice from night before, almonds, frozen peas, grated carrot, chopped waterchestnuts, chicken bamboo shoots, mushrooms, oyster sauce, hoisin sauce, butter lettuce.  Cucumber, rice vinegar.  Edamame)

Friday Dinner – 

Frozen cheese pizza and green salad, sliced apples.  (Two frozen pizzas, romaine lettuce, crutons, apples, parmesean cheese, dressing)

Saturday Dinner – 

Grilled sausages, roasted peppers and zucchini and onion with barbecue sauce over rice. 

(Italian sausages, bell peppers, zucchini, onion, barbecue sauce, brown rice.)

Sunday Dinner - 

whole roasted chicken with garlic, potato salad, green beans with almonds. 

(Small red potatoes, whole chicken, frozen green beans, almonds, parmesean, butter. Eggs, garlic, carrots, celery onion, lemon, parsley)

Shopping list:

Posted by Jenny at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

     I leaped onto the scale this morning, prepared to do a victory dance.  Granted, given the narrow width of my bathroom, it would be an awkward dance, but I anticipated seeing a loss, because I've been really cleaning up my act this week.  I pushed the button and waited while it showed me my last measurements: 43% body fat, people - I'm sure to survive any famines on the strength of my fat stores alone, and 179 pounds.  I stepped up, toes wiggling. 

     181 pounds.  Go me.

     Actually, though, this is my lovely week of bloating, so I'm staying off the scale for a few days. I'm not going to allow the disappointment of calling off my victory dance to keep me from working hard at this diet.  So, what exactly am I doing?  Let me explain why I'm following this diet, and how it is supposed to work:

     The whole idea is to eat three small but varied meals a day, made from food...real food, not packaged foods full of additives and preservatives.  By including healthy fats like olive oil and small amounts of cream and butter in my daily eating, my body should stay satisfied for longer, even with smaller portions.  Really, the smaller portions is the key for the weight loss.  Less food = less calories. 

    Say it with me:  Duuuuuuuh.  The problem here is that I'm really a quantity girl. I like a big heaping plate of pasta.  I like second helpings.  I have become accustomed to feeling uncomfortably full at the end of a meal, rather than satisfied.  Not only that, after seven straight years of trying to eat as quickly as possible, I can shovel food in like nobody's business.  I can get an entire meal in before someone needs me to leap up and fetch something or wipe something or any of the other somethings that come with small children. I eat so fast I don't give my body time to tell me I'm full, and I consistenly overeat.  It's really pretty disgusting, when I think about it. 

     Another idea behind this way of eating is to sit down at the table with your meals.  Take small bites.  Enjoy the flavor and texture.  Experience the food you are eating.  I have to admit, this seems like a big "Duh" point to make, but as I drove through crazy traffic with a soft pretzel from Target held in my teeth, I realized that not only wasn't I truly hungry, but I wasn't even tasting the food as I wolfed it down.  Last week, I found myself packing my cheeks with cereal as I gathered ingredients for dinner from the pantry.  I had both cheeks so full that I could barely close my lips, and I had another handful ready.  Why? 

     It seems that I'm a mindless grazer.  I eat without thought, without planning.  We eat a lot of fast food, because I'm always out of something, despite repeated trips to the store, and the thought of cooking at the end of a hectic day leaves me pouting like a spoiled toddler.  A quick run through the drive-thru, and I can get on with the rest of my evening.

     But here's a thought - I actually love to cook.  I'm a great cook, and I love to work with food.  I love to eat, too.  Why am I deliberately choosing garbage food over a simple, easily prepared meal at home?  I blame this squarely on the kids.  The hour before dinnertime is crazy around here.  The kids are in their witching hour, and I spend most of the time keeping them from hurling their siblings off the fort in the yard, or worse, tattling.  I just want to get them fed and get it over with.

     What are they learning from that attitude, though?  Certainly not appreciation for a good meal.  I'm determined to make mealtime a family affair, from the menu planning and shopping to the preparing and eating.  I want them to have an understanding of healthy food choices.  At seven, five and three, they are old enough to participate.  Now, if I can just get my control-freak kitchen attitude adjusted, I can envision them tossing salad, slicing berries and bananas, grating cheese...

    I can also envision myself cleaning up enthusiastically tossed lettuce from the floor, cleaning smashed berries off of the chairs, and having to bathe the entire trio before I can finish making dinner.  Whatever.  It might be better than having them out in the yard, stripped down to their underpants and standing onto of the play-fort while they yell at passing cars.  Not that that ever happens around here.  Ahem.

     I'll be doing my weekly grocery shopping tomorrow.  Shall I post my menu for the week, and a shopping list?  I think it might force me to actually have a plan, and inspire me to stick with it. 

     Also - I've decided that this whole exercise baloney would be a whole lot more fun if I had accomplices.  Leave me a comment with a suggested activity that you'd like to see me try.  As long as it doesn't involve jumping out of a plane, and I can do it locally, I'm game.  Bonus points if you come up with something that I can do WITH my kids.  I'll even take pictures and post them here, photo essay-style.  I've just discovered that I can rent exercise DVDs from Netflix, too, so recommend away, and I'll put 'em in my queue.   

Posted by Jenny at 9:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)