It is curious how hyper-aware I am of every tiny maybe-symptom that occurs during the day. Last night, as I lay in my bed, a vague pressing sensation was in my throat. OH NO! I thought. Could this be a goiter?
And then I cleared my throat and no. Nope, there is nothing there.
Yesterday, I only did some half-hearted arm, chest and back exercises. Although I've covered over 72 miles marching along in my living room in the last 18 days, I'm curiously disappointed that I didn't manage to squeeze my daily walking DVD. I missed it, and was reluctant to go to bed last night, even though I was physically spent.
Today, I tied on my shoes and got back to it. I feel really great about it, too.
It seems that I'm spending a lot of time bragging about my exercising, but since that is all I've really got going on positive on the whole diet and exercise front, I'm going to keep tooting my own horn.
I've given up on the journaling before I even got cookin' over here. I just can't seem to get into it, especially trying to track it online. I think I need to take it offline, do it old skool on binder paper, and combine my efforts with some actual menu planning again, because I haven't been good about that.
But I'm exercising! Yay me! *toooooot*
I've been quietly exercising away over here, and not trying to make a big deal out of it. I almost feel as though writing about it, pontificating on how well I've been doing, will somehow jinx it, and I'll fail.
However, I'm proud of myself, so here goes:
I've done an official exercise session of at least 35 minutes every day for the last three weeks. Woo!
A long time ago, one of my friends said that she had to make a choice. Either she was a woman who exercised daily, or she wasn't. She decided that she was.
I decided that I wasn't. Because I was tired. I was still young. I didn't want to. I had better things to do with my time. I didn't enjoy it. I wasn't an athlete. I would still be overweight, regardless.
I admitted defeat without firing a shot.
A month ago, I stood in front of my mirror in last year's swimsuit, and I looked myself in the eyes. I pulled my shoulders back and sucked my stomach in, and looked myself up and down. I'm stronger. I'm more fit. I'm different.
And that's when I made my decision. I'm an exercise every day kind of woman. I will make time for it, just like I make time for showering or eating or breathing. My day will not be done until I've made time for moving my body.
My weapon of choice lately has been several different Leslie Sansone DVDs - I've been alternating between a four mile "walk" and a two and a half mile "walk/jog" session. I've also been swimming daily and making time to stretch out with some improvised yoga. It works for me. And when it feels stale, I'll move onto something fresh. Because NOT exercising is no longer who I am.
My challenge to you all is to think about who you are - are you a daily exerciser, or not? If not, what is holding you back? Gimme your best excuses.
As our third week of the BigSliceOff comes to a close, I want to each to evaluate how you are doing, and tell me where you are struggling. I know that my own worst enemy, meal planning, has been low on my list of things to do, and I've been making really weird meals out of a really depleted pantry.
And, I've managed to either bruise my left inner ankle, or I have a shin splint going on down there, and either way, it hurts and I'm irritated. You know what I think happened?
Leslie Sansone happened. That's what happened. I have been doing her 4-mile challenge walk DVD every day, and I did it without shoes one day and I think I was getting a little too excited about the whole grapevine option at the very end of the four miles and I either kicked myself or stretched a little too much or something equally stupid.
As far as the DVD goes, though - I really like it. It is low-impact, easy to follow, and goes by quickly (for a 90 minute workout.) Ideally, I would do all my walking outside, but in reality, I have to haul the kids with me most of the time, and they can't keep up the pace I'm needed to walk. This DVD is a good compromise.
I really like that the walkers she features in her videos are fit, but come in all shapes and sizes and ages. I like seeing women who have hips doing what I'm trying to do.
I also gave the Turbo Jam DVD a try, and it damn near killed me. I think I need to work up to that one. Ooh, maybe that's how I wounded my shin. Leslie, you're off the hook this time!
Anyway, get outside this weekend - not for the burn, but for the fresh air and fun of it. Do something that fills you up inside and brings your that happy exhaustion.
As for me, I'm going to be throwing an 8th birthday party for my oldest monkey child, and doing some minor home improvement projects. And then, I'm going to be planning my menus. Fo shizzle.
I just got back from a great 2 mile walk to the school. Actually, it was more of a power walk. Normally, we leave the house at 7:45, and arrive at the school around 8:05. That is a 20 minute mile, right? So brisk, but not deadly.
Today we left at 7:55. And we arrived? 8:05. That's a 10 minute mile, baby, and it was not too bad. The kids and I ran in spurts (me pushing the stroller with my 30 pound four-year-old and wearing two backpacks and holding the dog on the leash) and walked briskly the rest of the time, and we made it.
Woooo! I walked back at my normal pace, leaving at 8:10 and arriving home at 8:25, so all in all, two miles at good speed. I'm all peppy from the endorphins.
So! Here's my challenge to you: I've gotten comments from several folks bemoaning the fact that they live in the sticks and have to drive long distances to get to any destination. Here's what I want you to think about: there is no law that says you have to drive all the way to your destination. For example - if you live in an outlying area, and you have to drive your kids to school 15 minutes away, leave 20 minutes early, and park about a mile from the school. Unload everyone and walk the rest of the way. You'll avoid waiting in the carpool drop-off line, and by the time you get back to your car, you will have gotten a nice walk.
If the route to school is unsafe for walking, then plan a walking route that will take you to several errand stops. Park at the first location, and make a loop from the bank to the post office to Target and back.
Look, I am one of the laziest people on the planet, and I have a weird perfection complex about exercise. I have told myself for years that if I can't have a sustained 60 minutes of walking, it isn't worth trying. I have used the excuse that I don't have time to walk to do errands, even though the time it takes to find parking, and then move the car five times in the space of a mile is the same time it would take to just walk. Unless I need to purchase a large item (in which case, I should park my car there) I generally can carry all my stuff in a small backpack or in pockets.
Mostly, I have considered exercise to be an extracurricular activity. Something that you make time for outside of your daily routine. You have to wear the right shoes, the right clothes. You have to be undisturbed. You have to get in the zone. Guess what? No you don't.
People that live in urban areas often don't have cars. They walk to and from, and they are wearing *gasp* street clothes. They aren't in coordinated jogging suits to cover a single mile. They don't have to be in the zone. They are just getting from point A to point B and back again. If they are late, they hurry. If not, they can take in the sights and sounds.
So that is your challenge. Find a way to get from point A to point B on foot without making a big damn production about it. You can wear your workout clothes, of course, but today I walked the kids to school in my riding boots and jeans. I even wore makeup!
And if I can do it, you certainly can. No excuses. Set a measurable goal for yourself (I will walk 10 miles this week) and choose a reward to work towards (I will invest in a new pair of sunglasses.)
Go! Go! Go!
It dawned on me this weekend that I'm no longer even thinking about eating breakfast. I'm just doing it. I wake up ready to eat. Victory!
The journaling continues to be a struggle - mostly because my meal planning has gone awry again. I just haven't had time/motivation/whatever and I believe that I am probably not balancing my meals very well. I'm going to make consistant meal plans and journaling the focus for the next few weeks.
It also dawned on me this weekend that I need to get more exercise. Plain and simple. I've been good with lifting weights, riding the iGallop (haaaa! heeee! hooooo!) and jumping on the trampoline, but the reality for me is that I need a lot of walking as well. Trying to carve the hour or so out of my day to get a long walk is tough. So tough that I haven't been doing it.
It struck me as I was dashing out the door to the van for the five minute drive to school last week - I used to walk the kids to school every day. And with all the time I've been spending thawing the windows, warming the car, loading the kids... seriously, walking them to school takes the same amount of time as driving. I leave the house at 7:45 and I'm home by 8:20. It is a mile each way.
So yesterday, I tied on my shoes, put the leash on the dog, and pushed the stroller just in case, and my four-year-old and I walked the two older kids to school. By five minutes into the walk, my heart felt light, my head cleared, and I felt like my day was off to a good start. When I got home, I had so much energy, and as an added bonus, my four-year-old went off to preschool while I had a conference call with Steve Case. She was worn out after walking two miles, and having school, and I got the first nap out of her I've had in a month. Wooo!
While rehashing the call with a friend, I found myself rummaging in the pantry. Snacking while on the phone, while pretty damn rude, is also a habit of mine. I've been known to consume large portions of food while gabbing, and I forced myself to leave the kitchen while I talked. Afterwards, I realized that I hadn't been hungry at all, and celebrated with a cup of herbal tea.
Baby steps, I know.
Are you all ready to mock me? Are you?
Guess what I have sitting in my living room? Guess what I have been faithfully straddling and riding for two weeks? Guess what is responsible for my abs, butt and inner thighs hurting like a ^%$&@!!!?
I got me a iGallop
It is so freaking funny. I think it has got to be ranked up there as one of the world's stupidest exercise concepts, but so far, it is really targeting the areas on my body where I'm carrying the most flab, and I can simulaneously watch What Not To Wear while exercising because it is very quiet.
Besides, it is hilarious, which gets high marks from me. And sort of pornographic, which gets high marks from my husband.
And the exercise DVD that comes with it? Haaaaa! First of all, I am not yet strong enough to do the balancing moves they suggest, but the woman who is demonstrating the moves is grim. She doesn't crack a smile, and she appears to be working very hard to stay on the machine and I was all "Yes! This hurts! She's not perky! Finally, the truth exposed! Exercise done well makes people grim!"
(I jest. But I love that she is not happy one bit for the entire DVD.)
Anyway, I'm off to do some upper body exercises with my weights, and then have a little ride right now. And then I'm going to jog on the trampoline, too. And you can bet that I'll be grinning from ear to ear.
The fog has settled low and cold over my neighborhood. On my way home from dropping my two oldest kids off at school, I saw a jogger go by. From the warmth of my van, I scoffed at this balding dude, running in what appeared to be flowered swim trunks with his wife's Christmas sweatshirt. But then it dawned on me that I was driving and he was running.
Who is the loser now, BigSlice? Huh?
Anyway, I got the new Brookstone catalog yesterday, and flipped through it with a practiced eye. The inlaws like gadgets. But unsophisticated gadgets. I'm thinking one of those digital photo frames would be good, and pondering the choices when I turn the page to this:
Now granted, I find exercise equipment problematic, for the simple fact that you actually have to use it. I wondered if there were any demos of this thing. I did a quick search for OSIM iGallop, and turned up this video. Go on, go watch.
Well. That beats the heck out of the Ab Lounger, if I do say so myself. You're supposed to wear go-go boots and cowgirl hats. FUN FUN FUN, am I right?
Even better are the other videos of people trying out the iGallop. Man, I want one. How hilarious is this thing?
October is International Walk to School month - did you know? My children's school will be participating on October 4th, for the official "Day" and we're all looking forward to it!
The plan is to have meeting locations in the neighborhoods surrounding the school, and then have the kids walk in groups, accompanied by a few adults. We form "walking school buses" and make our way to the school. It is great to see the parents and kids from your neighborhood, all walking and chatting - most mornings are a blur of circular driveway drop-offs and quick escapes before anyone notices you're wearing pajama bottoms.
Even families that live too far away to walk on a daily basis tend to drive to the nearest "bus stop" and walk the rest of the way. It's really cool to see everyone showing up on foot on these days.
Check with your school and see if you're participating this year. It's a fun chance to get out there and move with your kids.
Hoooo-wheee. I've been busier than the proverbial one-legged man in the butt-kicking contest this week, for no particular reason.
I've got some good news, and some bad news. Let's see... where to start?
We'll start with the bad. (drumroll please)
I had to drop the bellydance class before I ever tried it. My husband's work schedule has just changed, leaving me zero chance of ever making it to the class on time, if at all. I'm pouting, just a little bit, because I was looking forward to it. If only for the chance to get out of the house once a week without my toddler dangling from my body like an oversized handbag.
That's more of the bad news... my toddler has become surly. At six days until her first morning at preschool, I am counting the milliseconds. Not that I don't love the little demon darling - but girlfriend is testing my patience in a big way, and I've developed a facial tic from all the howling and pointing.
What is it about toddlers and that disappearing armpit thing? You go to grab them under their arms, and they raise their hands in the air and wave 'em like they just don't care while making the rest of their little bodies limp, and you can't get a grip. We've done that more than ten times this week, and I'm really sick of it.
All this howling and going limp and irrational behavior makes it really difficult to break her mood enough to get a workout in during school hours. I'm walking one way most days, but we're walking with Kim and her children, so the only time my heart-rate rises above normal is when one of the kids dashes into the street.
Oh, and I didn't go to Bikram Yoga last night - same icky work schedule problems. I don't know if I'll go back. I'm thinking on it, and I have a whole month to try again, but it's just really tough to steal two hours from my family right now to bury myself in the gym.
So, I'm feeling like an underexercised loser.
Now for the good news -
I woke up this morning after a rough night of bed-hopping kids and pee-pee accidents, and felt myself sliding toward anger before my head was off of the pillow. This is not the way to wake up. Although, let's be blunt, waking up to three children screaming and crying is not a good way to wake up in general.
Note to self: Tranquilizer darts. Get some.
I've been thinking about giving Bikram Yoga a shot, on the recommendation of several friends. Grace Davis made a particularly good case for it a while back. When it became obvious that I was going to walk around with my body twanging from stress, I decided that today would be a perfect day to get away for a ninety-minute session.
Ninety. 90. Nine Zero Minutes. The hell? I find that a little over-the-top, don't you?
Okay, let's just establish that I'm a big wimp. I like my intense exercise in 30 minute blocks. Or, okay, 20. Beyond that, I'm a withering flower. I wilt. And start pouting. And, depending on what time of the month it is, I also get really nauseous.
Go, on. Guess what happened?
Today was the second day of the elementary school year, and I had already lost some of my enthusiasm for the return to classes. My kids were sluggish this morning, and I found myself running behind schedule by a few minutes right from the start.
No matter. I stood guard over the breakfast table, ensuring that the oatmeal laced with cream and butter was actually being eaten, drinking my decaffeinated coffee. Let's just say that if you ever decide to quit caffeine once and for all, and you succeed...don't start drinking it again, and then expect that quitting (again) is going to be easy.
After breakfast, the kids stepped into the outfits we had selected the night before, we did all of our grooming things and made it out the door with packed lunches and everything.
Thanks to your fantastic ideas, my children took sliced cheese, a small apple, some crackers, a small yogurt and a meringue cookie. That pretty much exhausted the "fun lunch" stash from my pantry, though, so I made plans for a trip to Trader Joe's to fill in the gaps before the weekend.
Before I could shop, however, I had to actually get the kids to school. We made it out the door for our walk to school right on time, and joined our neighborhood friends for the mile. It is foggy here in the mornings, but the temperatures have been mild, so the walk has been painless, if a little slow. I even brought my neuotic pooch along for the walk.
I've received a couple of requests for tips to stay motivated on the way down the scale. I've got ten suggestions that may help:
1) Choose an eating plan that isn't going to be a royal pain-in-the-patootie to follow.
My personal rule on this is that I'm not going to cook two different dinners every night. I try to include at least one food that is 'kid-friendly' in every meal, but they eat what I eat - no more Chef Boyardee or Neon Orange Mac and Cheese.
Also, I was miserable trying to count points and calories and fat grams... I chose The Fat Fallacy because it is more relaxed on the actual structure of the eating plan. Which leads me to number two:
2) Diets are for the short term. Lifestyle changes, including daily exercise, a healthier diet and smaller portions, are long term solutions.
Diets sort of suck. I mean, you can really and truly lose weight, but what happens when you do? If you lose all the weight, or some of the weight - but you've been eating in a way that is going to be difficult to maintain for the rest of your life, you're not going to be motivated to keep eating that way. You don't become thin and lose your taste for cheesecake - so either you have to learn to eat in moderation, and deal with stress in another non-food related way, or you're going to be dealing with some backsliding.
3) Get yourself a set of eating rules to live by, and post them on your fridge.
When I was thin, I had these unwritten rules that I lived by that helped me monitor the portion sizes I ate, the types of food I ordered in restaurants, and the exchanges I would allow. For example, an ice cream cone was fine, if I took a walk on my lunch break. I always had a salad before a meal, and planned to take half of my entree portion home.
My rules now: A serving of protein at breakfast. A salad for lunch. No sodas. One glass of juice a day. Three meals, no snacks. I shoot for 8 servings of veggies and 2 of fruit a day. I fail on this, a lot. But when I'm reaching into the fridge to make dinner, I try to pull out a veggie in every color I have.
4) Change the way you grocery shop - have a plan.
I really started packing on the pounds when I first lived with my husband. He grew up on Hamburger Helper and canned chili over rice, Spaghettios and Mac and Cheese. We'd eat these giant plates of these boxed entrees and maybe a single vegetable on the side. I gained about 30 pounds that first year.
I used to go into the store without a plan. I'd just wander down the middle aisles of the store, tossing packages of side dishes and boxes of entrees into the cart. Now, I plan out my menu for the week, make a detailed shopping list, and since I'm not shopping for mixes or kits, I find that my shopping rarely takes me into the middle aisles. I spend most of my time in the produce section and the dairy case, with quick stops at the bakery and meat counter.
5) Change the way you cook.
Instead of relying on nutritionally bankrupt kits and mixes, try fixing some real foods in a simple way. Cooking doesn't have to involve hours and big bucks. Take a look at my Small Slice album to see what kinds of foods we eat around here.
6) Add in some exercise that makes you smile.
We all know that we are supposed to be ''feeling the burn when we workout. For full-figured women like myself, it doesn't take much to go straight past burn into meltdown. I hate sweating. I hate hurting. And I hate any exercise that makes me do either.
But here's what I've learned about myself: I am a lousy runner. But I love to walk. I'm horrible at lap swimming, but I love to flip around and pretend I'm a synchronized swimmer or a mermaid. I would rather die than do aerobics - unless it is some corny offshoot like Cardio Striptease. I like to play, rather than work.
Here's the other thing - working out, or playing hard, it makes me a nicer person. It burns off some of the frustration I carry around from parenting, it gets all those lovely endorphins rushing around, and it allows me to laugh. I laugh because I can't get the steps right. I laugh because my kids are delighted at my mermaid impressions. I laugh because I'm not focusing on the end of the 20 minute tape, or the last mile I need to walk. I'm laughing because I'm having fun.
You don't get a medal for suffering through boring workouts. Find something that sounds like fun, and get busy. Netflix rents fitness DVDs. There are all sorts of cheap or free exercise classes through local recreation and parks departments. Heck, just go to the park with your kids, and do whatever they do for an hour. You'll be amazed at the fun you're having, and the quality workout you get. And if you don't like something, try something else.
7) Blog it.
I know that blogging is new to a lot of people, and can be scary. Few women would willingly talk about their weight loss plans online, right? WRONG. Check out the Fat Fighters directory in my sidebar. Do a Google search. You'll see that there is a huge community of bloggers who are cheering each other on, and sharing their progress.
Feeling fat, isolated and depressed can make it difficult to reach out to people in your own community. Our own families are often unable to motivate us to make the life changes we really want to make. Having a place to record your thoughts, connect with other people who face similar challenges, and build a community of your own is invaluable for those of us who don't have a support system in real life.
The internet is a fantastic place to find support, information and friendship. Free blogs are available through www.blogspot.com and a zillion other sites.
8) Appreciate who you are today.
There is a lot of self-loathing that goes on in the head of a dieter. Many of us eat for entertainment, or as a coping mechanism. We become angry with ourselves for letting ourselves gain weight. We often don't take the time we should with our appearance. What does it matter, right?
If you are dragging around in pants that are two sizes too small, or two sizes too big, or stretched out men's teeshirts, or constantly wearing yoga pants or sweats, here's my advice: take a friend who will be honest, and go shopping. You need to have a couple of fresh outfits that fit you and flatter you at your current weight. It doesn't have to cost a fortune - just a new pair of jeans and a few fresh teeshirts can be enough to change your whole outlook.
Respect yourself now, or you'll never have the strength to keep on keeping on with your diet. Forgive yourself for being heavy, let go of the anger, and allow yourself to move forward.
9) Expect some failure.
Rules were made to be broken, and sometimes you just need some cheesecake. If you fall off the dieting wagon, never fear. Once you surface from your sugar-coma, acknowledge that you overdid it, and take note of how your body feels. That sluggish feeling that follows overeating isn't a good one. Rather than punishing yourself with more overeating, or a drastically sparse day featuring only iceberg lettuce, take a deep breath and go back to the planned menu.
If you spiral out of control on vacation, or if stress causes you to lose control, remember that they don't crown winners for losing weight, nor is anyone keeping score to make sure that you never step out of bounds. Take a deep breath, and start again.
10) Set small goals and celebrate each one.
When you have lots of weight to lose, the thought of all those pounds can discourage even the peppiest of optimists. Trust me. I'm three months into this, and I've only lost 8 pounds. It's frustrating me to the extreme.
When I reach 10 pounds lost, I'm going to get a massage. I am not focusing on the whole 50 pounds - I've got two pounds to go, and then I'll work on that next ten.
These are just a few of the ways I try to keep myself on track. I'd love to hear some of your tips for staying motivated when you are working towards a weight loss goal.
...The tough probably do something about it, unlike me. I spent most of yesterday feeling shell-shocked and whiny. I made falafel and salad for dinner, and about 3 bites in, I didn't feel half as bad as I thought. By the time I was finished with dinner, I was mellowed out and able to think clearly.
This week, I'm going to put myself in remedial eating school, because I've been sliding backwards with my eating - not in portion sizes, but in every other area. It is affecting me both physically and emotionally.
The thing about my hissy-fit tantrum misunderstanding pig photo taking breakdown this weekend is that it is completely out of character. I am, at least 99% of the time, comfortable in my own skin. I assume that people like me. I don't feel judged or secondary to my pants size. I go about my business and don't take myself too seriously.
Yet, my husband makes a random comment and I go off the deep-end about it. Suddenly I'm the 1000 pound pig in a box, a side-show attraction. Could my mismanaged eating and sporadic exercise be the cause of this sudden attitude change?
I'm thinking it can. Here's why -
I've been focusing a large part of my diet on processed grains and dairy fats. I've reintroduced caffeine to my diet, near-daily. I haven't been eating my daily salad for lunch, and my breakfasts have either been skipped, or contain no protein. My dinners have been okay, but the focus has been on the pasta, the potatoes, the rice... with balance, this would be fine. I am out of balance.
I've been feeling under the weather today, and instead of swimming or walking, I did some half-hearted upperbody work with weights, and then complained a lot. A LOT.
Then I clicked over to see that by this point, Mir will be twenty miles into her sixty miles. I am so proud of her!
So, essentially, I have nothing to complain about, except my own sloth.
Tomorrow, the hubs and I are planning to take the kids to the county fair. We say we are going for the kids. The kids love the fair! They do! They... oh, alright. I love the fair. I love the fair because of all the deep fried foods on sticks. And in paper dishes. And cotton candy.
*sob*
I find it hard to look forward to the fair this year, because I know that we are looking at at least one hissy fit from at least one of the three children, and I will be surrounded by yummy foods that I have no business eating. I will have to content myself with taking photos of livestock and looking at flowers and keeping whatever kid is close to the edge from taking a flying leap into tantrumland.
For years, I've looked forward to the food portion of any trip. More than that - I can actually remember what everyone ordered and ate on any holiday or vacation.
What? Stop looking at me like that. My sister remembers the name of every dentist we have seen. We're gifted.
Tomorrow, I'm going to take a photo of all those food booths. I'm going to ponder the fried twinkie and the fried snickers from a safe distance. I'll admire the colors of the cotton candy, and enjoy the sight of people wandering around with corndogs the size of their forearm. Then, I'll seek out the relatively healthy fare available from the Mexican food vendors, and choose something small, made from real food, and sit down to enjoy it with my family.
Something tells me it will be just as satisfying.
Kim called me out, and we agreed to settle this challenge, once and for all. We drove across town in our minivans, and prepared the troops for a full-scale assult on Pump It Up - The Inflatable Party Place.
We almost had the place to ourselves, and we stalked in, dropped our shoes and purses and began jumping like maniacs. Kim is a screamer, too, so we made more noise than our kids, leaping around and acting like total fools. It was so fun. So, so fun.
We did the obstacle course, and ran laps in the basketball court, and although I know I said I wasn't ready for video yet, behold: I "invented" a "trick" - meaning I made friends with gravity, and worked some Jazz Hands into the equation.
See Me Roll on Vimeo
This Could Go Really Great, Or Really, Really Bad on Vimeo
I'll have the album up soon - but I have to say that this challenge was really fun, and a great workout.
Oh my... I don't know the last time I laughed so hard in my entire life. Seriously.
So, this morning, I decided to finally break it on down to the Jeff Costa Cardio Strip Tease Vol 1 DVD, that has been languishing on top of my entertainment cabinet since, oh, May.
Man, I didn't even make it through the opening credits without snickering like an eight-year-old.
I mean, first of all, the guy who leads the class is Jeff Costa. He apparently taught Carmen Electra, and she has gone on to Cardio Strip Tease her way through several DVDs. So we can all acknowledge that he is The Man with CST. But:
I don't know what I was expecting. He was certainly fun to watch, and easy to follow, and he has a certain, campy appeal. I just...
Yeah, I laughed my head off.
And then I immediately thought to myself: If I keep this up until BlogHer, I'm going to clean the dance floor with Y's aerobic dancing hiney. But then I thought, no, she'll still win, but we'll have all sorts of damaging photo evidence from our CST vs. Aerobic Dance throwdown. Either way, it's comedy gold, waiting to happen.
I have to say, the moves were easy to pick up, fun, and when performed by the darling girls on the DVD, really sexy. On me, not so much. First of all, none of the dancers they used were particularly, um, endowed in the boobs. They shimmied, and it was cute. I shimmied, and the neighbor's fence was knocked over.
But still, I worked up a sweat, did a lot of hair tossing, pelvic-thrusted while saying "uh! uh!" and a few other choice moves, some of which I may attempt to capture on video for you, because I love you all just that much. Jeff, The Man, says at the end of the video that I am clearly looking and feeling so much sexier, and you know, he's totally right. I'm planning on walking exclusively using the burlesque walk from now on. Because I'm hot - all from one little session of CST.
I will say that this is not a good DVD to attempt with the kids around... it's a little suggestive, but not obscene. I'd be curious to hear from any of you that have tried Carmen Electra's DVDs.
So, Amy - although I was unable to find a local gym that offered this particular class, I worked it out. And it was hilarious. Thanks for the challenge!
Up next? Belly Dance, and the Pump It Up with Toddlers Challenge with Dog-Crap Analogy Kim!
I know, I know. I promised a contest... it is at the bottom of the entry. Read on down, and find out how to play.
Somehow, despite the poor eating and the disorderly exercise over these last five days, I've managed to lose another pound. I'm not going to question it. I'm just going to do a happy little dance, and celebrate reaching 175. Woo hoo! That leaves me with six pounds to lose before BlogHer to reach my goal for my Month of Motivation. Le me see, I've got 16 days to do it...I"m thinking it is doable.
I loaded the three kids up today and took them swimming at our pool. We have a nice little pool for our homeowners association, and before today, I've always been terrified of taking my three houligans with no other adult to help. Because, let's face it, taking three daredevil children with varying degrees of swimming ability to the pool, and then having fat issues on top of it all - it's not a really enticing idea.
After our vacation in Florida, where I saw that no matter how you look at it, there is always going to be someone hotter than you, and someone who has even more weight to lose than you, and that is just the way it is. In a sea of vacationing families, I blended into the crowd. Gratefully, I might add. Until I creamed my knee, and then I was a little conspicuous with the %&@^%#&% and blood and all. Hah!
So, anyway, if I can bare my Big Slice swimskirted butt at a waterpark, I figured my neighbors could just deal. And you know what? No one gasped in horror as I strolled toward the pool. No one averted their eyes, or made oinking noises. Everyone was busy enjoying their own afternoon at the pool, with their own children.
This just in: I'm NOT the center of the universe! I know. I'm shocked, too.
After swimming around for an hour, we headed home to make dinner. I know, next week - I'll make a real menu. This week, I'm sort of scrounging around, using up things in my pantry. I made a yummy pasta with a jack cheese-white sauce, with steamed broccoli and cauliflower and canned turkey meat (that I don't remember purchasing, but whatever) stirred in. The kids ate it up, and had slices of watermelon for dessert, while I chowed down on half an avocado and two saturn peaches along with my serving of the pasta.
Have you tried saturn peaches? They are the ones that look like they've been smushed. If you can get them, give them a try. They are amazing.
I'm going to do my PM Yoga DVD before I turn in, and start my day with AM Yoga in the morning. I am shocked at how non-limber my body has become over the last few years...one day, one sun salutation at a time. I also managed 10 boy pushups, but my stupid, stupid pectoral muscles are girlie and sad, and it is going to take me weeks before I can manage the 50 that Steph is waiting on.
So! Contest! Here goes...
In The Fat Fallacy - Dr. Clower has these great quizzes in the beginnings of each chapter. He lists the ingredients in a common food item, and gives a few hints to help readers guess what he's talking about. Sound tough? Take a look below - each of these five foods are popular, well-known brands found in supermarkets across the country. Even more important - these foods are billed as Healthy Choices by their companies.
Here's the challenge: name these foods. Leave me a comment with your answers, and I'll choose winners on Saturday morning.
1) Heavily marketed to kids, this product has 50% less sugar than the original - yet still comes in at 13 grams of sugar for a single serving.
Ingredients:
WATER, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP AND 2% OR LESS OF EACH OF THE
FOLLOWING: CONCENTRATED JUICES (ORANGE, TANGERINE, APPLE, LIME,
GRAPEFRUIT), CITRIC ACID, MALIC ACID, ASCORBIC ACID (VITAMIN C),
THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B1), NATURAL FLAVORS, MODIFIED
CORNSTARCH, CANOLA OIL, SODIUM CITRATE, CELLULOSE GUM, XANTHAN GUM,
SUCRALOSE, ACESULFAME POTASSIUM, NEOTAME, SODIUM HEXAMETAPHOSPHATE,
SODIUM BENZOATE TO PROTECT FLAVOR, YELLOW #5, YELLOW #6. 
2) This 'healthy' entry is a favorite of dieters who like a little something with their pie - or, you know, to eat straight out of the tub.
Ingredients: WATER, CORN SYRUP, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OIL (COCONUT AND PALM KERNEL OILS), LESS THAN 2% OF SODIUM CASEINATE (FROM MILK), NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, MODIFIED FOOD STARCH, XANTHAN AND GUAR GUMS, POLYSORBATE 60, SORBITAN MONOSTEARATE, SODIUM POLYPHOSPHATES, BETA CAROTENE (COLOR).
3) This is one of those head-scratchers... why is all this stuff in here? Natural food varieties have two ingredients. TWO. Also, Dr. Clower points out that Zinc Oxide is the stuff in diaper ointment - which hello...suspiciously close to DOG CRAP.
Ingredients: PEANUTS, CORN SYRUP SOLIDS, SUGAR AND SOY PROTEIN, CONTAINS 2 PERCENT OR LESS OF: FULLY HYDROGENATED VEGETABLE OILS (GRAPESEED AND SOYBEAN), SALT, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES, MOLASSES, NIACINAMIDE, FOLIC ACID, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE, MAGNESIUM OXIDE, ZINC OXIDE, FERRIC ORTHOPHOSPHATE, AND COPPER SULFATE.
4) Mmm. Phosphoric acid and aspartame. Now, that's healthy! But hey, no calories!
Ingredients: Carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosphoric acid, potassium benzoate (preserves freshness), caffeine, citric acid and natural flavors.
5) This is another dieter's favorite, perfect for one of those low-points sweet fixes. But what IS it?
Ingredients:
MODIFIED FOOD STARCH, COCOA PROCESSED WITH ALKALI, MALTODEXTRIN,
TETRASODIUM PYROPHOSPHATE AND DISODIUM PHOSPHATE (FOR THICKENING),
CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF NONFAT MILK, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR,
SALT, SOY LECITHIN, CALCIUM SULFATE, XANTHAN GUM, MONO- AND
DIGLYCERIDES (PREVENT FOAMING), ASPARTAME AND ACESULFAME POTASSIUM
(SWEETENERS), RED 40, YELLOW 5, BLUE 2, ARTIFICIAL COLOR.
Alright - get to answering! I've got some great prizes for this round, so guess away.
Dawn, over at the fantastic blog The Gimlet Eye, reminded me today that yoga is a wonderful way to listen to your body, and get in touch with your inner calm. She has just made a major move to a new country, and is still centered and focused - amazing. I need some of that.
It has been years since I managed a daily yoga practice. In truth, most of the yoga I do now is peppy, child-centered yoga. Granted, it is fun to bounce around pretending to be a balloon, or to roll around on the floor, but I truly believe that I need that quiet, reflective experience that comes from moving through challenging poses, and feeling my breath flood every cell of my body.
I'm adding a footnote to my Month of Motivation goals - I WILL establish a daily yoga practice. Either before the kids get up, or after they go to bed, I will give myself at least 20 minutes to reconnect.
This has nothing to do with the fact that my favorite DVDs star Rodney "pantyman" Yee. No, really. I'm not even half as flexible as I once was, and yet I know that the rewards will be as great.
So, I was all hyped up, laced up and ready to roll this morning. In fact, I loaded my three-year-old into the stroller, grabbed the other two kids and looped the dog's leash around my wrist. I held the gate open with a foot as I struggled through. About four steps into my planned walk, the dog ran a figure eight between my legs. The kid in the stroller started caterwauling about juice boxes, and my oldest two took off ahead, feigning deafness.
I threw a temper tantrum, right then and there. Two steps from my own driveway, I called it quits. I untangled my feet and hauled the stroller up the walk to the gate. Rather than actually chase down my fleeing children, I hollered over my shoulder something to the effect of "get your happy asses up here right now!" I am subtle, and leave much to the imagination, huh?
So, I probably burned a few calories, or at least blew a few gaskets, but I still had exercising to do. I went back to the drawing board.
"Hey kids! Look! Spongebob!" Once they were sufficiently engaged, I dragged the mini-trampoline into the living room and set the kitchen timer for 31 minutes.
I walked for thirty seconds. I jogged for thirty seconds. I walked. I jogged. I walked. I jogged. I walked. I jogged. I sent a kid into the kitchen to see how much time was left. 25 minutes. Sheesh.
"Mommy! I want a turn!"
"No, honey, you have to wait. I have to do this for 30 minutes."
"Mommy, I can do it with you!"
"No. Uh, you can do it afterwards."
"Oh. Waaaaaa!"
"Ooh! Look! Dora the Explorer!"
More walking. More jogging. Over and over. I sent a kid to check the time, huffing and puffing. "Go...and...see...what...time...it...say...puff...puff..."
"Four two three!"'
"Okay, great"! That's not at all helpful. Jogging. Walking. Jogging. Walking.
My youngest watched me with sad eyes for a while, and then her little face lit up. She raced to her bedroom, and returned with her whoopee-doopee. This is like a long ribbon on a stick, like a rhythmic gymnast would use. She handed it to me, all smiles.
So there I was, chugging along, clutching this beribboned stick. She watched thoughtfully, and then mimed that I should swing it around my head and make swooping arm gestures with it.
Well, why not. I walked-jogged and flipped the ribbon around. At first I was sort of half-hearted about the whole thing, but then I got all fancy with it. I wrote her name in the air. I wrote my name in the air. Then I got the idea to jog in a circle and do twirly things with it.
Wahoo! The timer finally went off, and I sadly handed over the whoopie-doopee to my three-year-old, who mounted the trampoline and put me to shame with her artistic moves. I'd like to say she gets it from me, but in this case, I think it's the other way around.
The excuses are over. My knee has healed enough so that I'm not cringing in pain everytime I take a step.
I'm out the door for a 30 minute run/walk, with all three kids and the dog in tow. And then, for my next trick, another attempt on the 50 pushups. This could get really, really ugly. Or, you know, my butt could become magically pert and my stomach could recede into the boundries established by my pants. Instantly! Yes! That sounds like a good plan!
Gah. Lacing up my shoes now. Get out there this morning and get a burst of endorphiny goodness. We've got a long summer to get through. Might as well have some natural uppers floating around in our systems. Go do it, and report in. I want to know how you all are doing!
Also, my dinners are all out of order this week because I ordered my groceries from Safeway.com, whom I adore, but your shopping is actually done by courtesy clerks, so you are at their whim as to what actually gets delivered. They usually do great, and hey, if I have to make a quick trip out to the store to get a few things they couldn't find, no biggie.
But this week, they were out of tortillas, apparently. And salmon. And yellow rice. And other things that I sort of needed. Alas. I need to suck it up and get to the store.
Holy moly. We are at the last day of our vacation-o-rama, and that, my friends, is a good, good thing. I'm listening to my poor mom referee as my children bicker and snicker. I'm in repacking mode, to be followed by survival until it's time to return the rental car and board the plane.
To think, I was once one of those mothers who would NEVER give a child Benedryl when they weren't officially ill. Heh. Benedryl for everyone!
I'm off my training schedule now until Monday, and then I'm busting down my plans a bit. The shin splints are not happening, but I think I was a little ambitious right off the bat. Our Man Hal Higdon has a 30 minutes of running-walking for 30 days plan to build a good base to begin training, and I plan on talking Kim into joining me on that, before we get back to our 5K training plan. I think my shins will thank me later.
Remember my big old whopping bruise on my calf from the horse riding incident? It is finally healed. The day before I left for vacation, I tripped (so graceful!) and whacked that same leg on the knee - luckily I smacked below the kneecap, no harm done except for a bruise. That bruise was fading nicely when we headed to the Typhoon Lagoon waterpark yesterday.
Typhoon Lagoon was a beautiful waterpark, and we had typical Lauck family fun, which involves five different ideas about what we want to do, and several stops for popsicles. After getting blasted in the face, then the back of my head, then my butt by some bratty kids with water cannons in the children's play area, we made our way down to the Lazy River, where I wedged my Big Slice Panties into a chubby inner-tube and floated around the park.
They also have a huge wave pool there, and my husband and oldest daughter waded into the throngs of screaming people, while I stayed in the shallows with the two youngest. Every time a wave headed toward the "beach" I would scoop my three-year-old onto my hip and hold my son by his wrist, and then braced myself for the rush of water. After the fifth wave, a very large woman sat down in the surge about 15 feet in front of me, and as she swept backwards with the surge, she took out my famously bruised leg. Ow. Luckily, I held on to both kids and managed to retreat a bit, to avoid any further collisions with body surfers.
After a while, my husband and oldest appeared, and we switched. I was going to ride some waves! I would embrace my inner swan! I would glide gracefully through the crashing, chlorinated surf!
Heh. On the very first wave, as I turned and prepared to leap with the wave, a kid next to me slammed into my back, driving my (hello! already bruised!) knee into the concrete bottom. Then the wave hit, and I skidded along the bottom. Then I stood up, bloodied and battered and dragged my complaining daughter back to her father. Woo! I know how to have a good time.
The little kids and I went up and made sand castles and left my husband and daughter to surf until they puked. (Not really.) Finally, sun-weary and stiff, we made our way home.
Yes, I am truly graceful and elegant in the water. Let's all be glad that I never took up synchronized swimming. I return home with a stiff, scraped and bruised knee, and memories that will last a lifetime. Ah, vacation.
We dragged ourselves out of bed this morning, stepped directly into our swimsuits and hit the pool. I actually bought myself two new suits for this trip from a store that I chanced across - Avenue. I normally hate shopping in plus-sized stores, but they had some nice stuff there. I walked in, grabbed two suits, tried them on, they fit, I bought them. Boom.
Guaranteed, if I would have hit the mall, I would have been slightly hysterical and in the possession of a giant pile of unflattering suits. I also bought a bunch of soft, comfy underpants. I'm so all about the comfort factor - it's a good thing I'm just a naturally red-hot mama, huh?
Anyway, once in the pool, it dawned on me that 1) I had better figure out this internet connection. Dial up. AAAAAH. and 2) I was supposed to run a mile and a half today. Me. In Florida. It's like, hot and stuff. How is that going to work? I'm a wuss, without my training partner. KIM!! Go run for us both!
So, I decided to run in the pool. That didn't work out so well. I am sure there's a technique for doing it, and if anyone wants to enlighten me, I would be grateful. I got bored with it, though, and decided I was going to take on the inflatable alligator. Rrrroar.
I pulled it over to the edge of the pool, and tried to throw my leg over it. It did a sort of half-assed death roll, and I went under. I pushed it over to the shallow end, and tried again. I managed to get one leg up on it, but when I did this weird little jump and tried to pull myself up onto it, it did the death-roll again, and down I went. I like to make a splash, but this was getting ridiculous.
Perhaps, I thought, perhaps I should lay on it out of the water and sort of glide in. I should know that I'm not exactly a gliding sort of girl. That didn't phase me, and I made my ill-fated attempt. Here's how that went: Lay the alligator on the pool side. Lay on the alligator. Huuuuuuuuughn. The alligator is not moving. I am still on pavement. Huuuuuuuughn. Nothing. I push with my toes. The alligator death-rolls into the pool, I bang my wrist on the side, and end up under the alligator.
What would Steve Irwin do? What? I know. He would leap on it. He'd take a running start, and jump on it and hold on to that suckah. Yeah.
I practiced a few times on the pool deck, and then I set that sheila into the water. With a giant Aaargh, I took a running leap onto the back of the gator. It held! I was on it! For three seconds. And then I was in the water, holding onto a rapidly deflating alligator. I thought I popped it.
So, I guess, in a way, I won, because it totally gave up the ghost. But it turns out that the inflatable plug was just loose, and no permanent damage was done. Yet.
I'm fixin' to ride me a gator. And tain't nothing gonna stop me.
You know what is the best thing ever? Starting a new workout plan that insists that on the first day, you rest. That was my yesterday. I walked around, shooting my mouth off about how "I'm on Day One of my new training program, yes, that's right, I'm going to run a half-marathon."
Day One = REST. Totally awesome.
Today, however, was Day Two. The task - run 1.5 miles.
In all my bragging yesterday, my friend Kim (Yes, Dog-Crap Analogy Kim) caught wind of what I'm up to, and insisted that she, too, is going to run a half-marathon. Well. That girl is always one-upping me. First the monkey bars, and NOW the half-marathon?
Actually, we decided to meet and run laps around the park while our two youngest played. We figured out that we needed to run around the park path 6 times to get our distance. It would be an exercise and play-date! Lookie at us multitaskers!
We decided to drive to the park, because we figured we wouldn't want to walk home after. This was a good call - but not because we were too tired. See, no one asked the toddlers what they would enjoy doing on a lovely Tuesday morning. My youngest was okay with it. Sort-of. Kim's son barricaded himself in the van, and refused to come out and play.
With some slight of hand, and a well-timed grab, we got him out, and brought him to the picnic bench. Then we did some pathetic, self-conscious stretches, and I took off for my first few laps. After the first lap, my three-year-old joined in. She trotted just ahead of me, setting a good pace, and yelled encouragement back to me.
"Come on, Mommy! You can do it!"
I puffed back to the picnic bench after three laps, and Kim did her first three looking like a champ. The kids and I stood along the walk and cheered for her as she cruised into lap three. My daughter joined Kim on one of her laps, too. Who needs a personal trainer? My three-year-old is totally up for the job.
I had a solid fourth lap, and then my shins started to ache. Knowing that I had horseback riding lessons in an hour, and I would be needing my legs, I used that as a lame (I know, it was lame) excuse not to finish my last two laps. While I did some more awkward and self-conscious stretching, Kim trotted around the park three more times. She kicked my hiney, man. Again.
While Kim made her way around the path, I corralled the two little monsters into my van for a private viewing of SpongeBob on our portable DVD player. You know, I used to scoff at the moms with the DVD players in the car. That's why it has windows, I said. Kids get too much TV already, they don't need no stinkin' movies in the car, too, said I. Then we got one for our upcoming trip and I owe lots of moms a big apology and maybe a gift certificate to NetFlix. Best. Invention. Ever. EVER.
Oh! And in further Kim News - she witnessed me making it all the way across the monkey bars at the school! I did it! I did it! My arms didn't fall off! Want to know the secret?
Here it is: If you hang 179 pounds of woman off of two stumpy, non-callused hands, you are not going to be able to do it. You can't just hang. You have to start off swinging.
So, Kim and I will meet again for a rematch on Thursday. We've got two toddlers, six laps, and bragging rights riding on the outcome. Provided we can even walk on Thursday. Heh.
I'm also down one pound to 178. This is tedious - but I think I know what the problem is.
Ready for the bad news?
I haven't been eating hardly anything. I haven't been cooking hardly anything. I knew when I decided to take on Fat Fallacy as my lifestyle guide, I would have a hard time with scheduling. But this last week and a half has kicked my sore buttocks all over the place.
I won't eat unless I'm able to sit down and appreciate the food I'm eating. I won't eat in the car, nor in front of the computer. Not in front of the TV either. I need about 30 minutes, three times a day, just for eating. And I'm not finding it.
With the last week of school festivities in full swing, I've been galloping from one place to the next, leaving the house before 8 am and often not returning until after 5 pm. I'm attending field trips, driving from school to stable to store to school again with no pitstops at home. I've skipped breakfast AND lunch for the last four days. This has resulted in really low energy and no interest in cooking a real dinner. Add in the fact that my husband is on a business trip, and I'm preparing for a week-long vacation with the three kids and a cross-country flight, and you've got a recipe for diet disaster.
Tonight, I ate a Happy Meal. It was gross.
I'm thinking at bare minimum, I need to eat a protein rich breakfast. I hate to shovel the food in, but this wishful thinking that my schedule is going to miraculously allow me time to eat, while contemplating the texture and aroma of each bite, is delusional. Especially this week, when all the planets have aligned, keeping me from having any free time.
I'm not allowing my body to get the nutrients it needs, and it's affecting my potential weight loss. I need to find the time to eat. I need to slow down.
I have this weird, illogical perfectionism streak. It tells me that I shouldn't take up exercise if I can't do it right. It tells me that I know the "right way" to eat now, and by golly, I'm going to do it that way. I'm not giving myself the space to be flexible. I mean, I know I don't want to mindlessly eat in the car, or shovel handfuls of cereal straight from the pantry, but to forgo eating because I can't do it "right" is crazy. But that's what I've been doing. And it isn't working out.
Balance. I'm seeking balance.
Last night, my husband and three children joined my friend Kim and her husband and children at their house for a good-bye party for a long-time friend who is moving to Oregon. This is a wonderful, positive move for her young family, and we are excited for them.
However, as we sat around in the cooling evening air, sipping margaritas and watching the kids play, we bemoaned the fact that we haven't done more spontaneous get-togethers over the last few years. It seems like the swirl of daily life and the ages of our children have kept us apart, even as we patted ourselves on the back for staying close to one another.
I was responsible for bringing the food, and I provided a healthy, fresh spread that even the kids enjoyed. We nibbled and drank, and drank and nibbled. It felt good to just relax and not worry about whether or not I was 'being bad' - I was not over eating, and I was enjoying fresh, real foods at a leisurely pace. That's they way it should be, all the time.
Just like trying to get together with my friends and their families (and relax, rather than chase my kids all over the place) or enjoying a sedate, relaxing meal, I find that exercise is something that I've either avoided, or rushed through, with no sense of enjoyment.
I used to scarf my food. I spent social gatherings racing around after my kids, unable to finish a conversation. I gave up trying to exercise because I couldn't make the time to do it alone, the way I wanted to.
The Fat Fallacy really emphasizes that we should be eating leisurely meals as a family. Ha! Ha ha ha! My children laugh in the face of leisure. They feel that all conversation should either be about them, or about the things they want to discuss. They, too, have learned to eat quickly and scamper away from the table. This eating together, and enjoying it, has been a huge challenge for my family, one that we are not winning.
But no more. This week, I'm going to start treating meal times like a party. We'll gather, nibble, converse, drink, circulate between courses - in short, we're going to enjoy ourselves. I think this week's menu will be light, appetizer fare, paired with simple salads and entrees that don't require a lot of cooking.
I'm also going to try to step up my daily activities to make them more active. More energy, more enthusiasm...more fun. The kids inspire me with their imaginative play and willingness to scramble over every rock, curb and post in our path. I'm going to follow their lead, and see how I do this week.
Keep the exercise challenges coming! I've just received the Strip Tease Workout from NetFlix, and will be giving it a spin tomorrow. Photos WILL follow.
Heaven help us all.
There was a time, a few years ago, when I was lifting weights several times a week. I had built up my strength quite a bit, and was feeling proud of my little girly muscles. Even though they were hidden under a generous layer of fat, I knew they were there. I could feel them, and I felt strong.
Flash forward to now: I unearthed my old exercise journal, and saw the weights and number of reps that I was doing, and thought that I could just pick right back up.
Uh. No.
I'm having to start over, almost from the beginning again. I feel vaguely disappointed in myself - surely those muscles are still there, right? It feels like I should be able to just start again, and be able to lift that same weight, the same number of times. Since that's not the case, I'm just going to put aside that training journal, and begin again.
This is the training routine I'm going to be doing: Mistress Krista's All Dumbells, All the Time.
If you haven't read through Krista's site, it's a fantastic source of information and inspiration to get you up off of the couch (or computer chair, ahem) and get you started with building some fat-burning muscle. She's got workouts for every level, with gym equipment or ideas for things you can lift around the house. I really encourage you to check it out.
The main reason I fell out of practice with the weights is sort of silly. I used to keep my dumbells on the kitchen counter next to the fridge. I posted my work out routine there, and while the pasta was boiling, I could grab the weights and squeeze in a few sets. They looked ridiculous, sitting next to the coffee maker. I decided to move them to my bedroom, where I could close the door and work out in peace. I haven't lifted them since.
So today, I'm moving them back out to the counter. I'm going to get back in touch with those girly muscles of mine. I'm going to squat while the sauce simmers. I'm going to lunge while I broil. I'm going to dead-lift while I'm dictating spelling. I'm going to multi-task in new and frightening ways.
Pick out a routine, and pick up something heavy along with me! Let's flex our girlie muscles!
Something else that needs addressing (or confessing) - I didn't make the dinner I had planned for last night. The day got totally out of control, and by the time I got home at 6 pm, I couldn't bear to cook a decent meal. I thought maybe a glass of wine would be just the thing to get me in the mood for cooking. So, after a glass of wine, on a nearly empty stomach, I found myself a little loopy. The kids were worn out, and I gave them a quick dinner of french bread and soup, with sliced mozzarella on the side. I didn't eat that myself, though. No.
I had a bowl of chocolate ice cream, and then climbed in bed and watched three straight hours of television. So there you have the Big Slice Off The Wagon Dinner of Champions. Big glass of wine, chocolate ice cream, in bed. It was way better than those dried out sausages I cooked last Friday. Alas - tonight I will resume the actual cooking. I should've taken a photo of my "dinner" for the SmallSlice album, but I was too busy licking the bowl and contemplating whether it is tacky to put a straw in a wine glass.
Early this week, my friend Kim threw down yet another challenge. We are supposed to be walking both to drop our kids off at school, and again to pick them up in the afternoon. It's a mile each way, making it a four mile day if we do both drop-offs and pick-ups.
Yesterday, we did four miles. Well, actually Kim did four miles. I did four plus, because I have a three- year-old who thinks that dashing away from me toward the street is the height of hilarity. So I get regular sprints with added stress built into my daily walks. Fun, I tell you!
Our daughters have this thing about horses. As I was struggling to shove the stroller through our front gate, I heard a shrill "Neeeeeigh!" coming from across the street. My daughter threw back her head and gave her best whinny back. Our neighbors love these tribal greetings at quarter to eight in the morning.
Tra la la!
Anyway, so we got the kids to school, and turned around for home. Once we got home, I ran inside and changed into my riding tights and boots and grabbed my helmet for my horseback riding lesson. Tossing the three-year-old into her car seat, I raced off to my parents house to drop her off so I can have my lesson.
At the barn, I couldn't find the saddle I used last lesson, so I grabbed another one. Once I mounted, the poor horse was not having any of this. He was all "Look, lady. It's bad enough that I've got to carry your 179 pounds on my back, but this saddle pinches (or something) and you better get off before I MAKE YOU GET OFF." Yay for quick dismounts! I was two seconds away from playing rodeo, and let me tell you, that was not part of the plan today.
Once we fixed the saddle situation, we got down to business, and I bruised my butt all up with the stand up sit down trot trot trot business. I'm happy to report that I didn't feel like such a dork this time. However, I assure you that I still looked plenty dorky, bouncing around the arena with a fist full of mane and a big loony grin on my face. I felt like doing that whinny that the girls do to greet each other.
After picking my daughter up, I raced home in time to catch Kim on the walk back to school, thereby forfeiting any chance for lunch. At the park between pickup times, we let the kids play on the sand. Feeling cocky, I walked over to the monkey bars and grabbed ahold of the first rung. Once, twice, three times, I moved my hands to the next rung, and then I dropped down, yelling "ow, ow, ow."
Kim walked over and looked me up and down and snorted before spitting in her hands and grabbing the first rung. She almost made it all the way across and really stuck the landing. Okay, she didn't actually spit in her hands, but she did give me the stink-eye.
Well, I couldn't just let that stand. I mean, come on. So I went and grabbed the bar, and made it one space before dropping and complaining some more. Then Kim called her daughter over and made her watch while she did almost the whole monkey bars again. Show-off! I bet she can't lift her arms tomorrow. Before I knew it, Kim had goaded another of the moms into giving it a try. She failed after four swings. You know what this means? Kim is hiding some superhuman strength in her arms. And also, GAME ON, TOOTS.
To console myself, I wandered over to the tire swing and sat down, promptly wedging my butt in the hole and getting whapped in the head with the chain. I turned the tire swing over to the kids, and wandered over to lick my wounds on the regular swings, where I sat my daughter on my lap and discovered that trying to swing while holding a three-year-old works your thigh muscles.
Are you guys working it? I want to hear what you guys are up to!
If you were following along last week - you'll notice that I dropped two full meals off of the menu plan. Wait! Actually three! I've still got a whole chicken in my freezer, and frozen green beans, and a bunch of small red potatoes, and a whole bunch of stuff for lettuce wraps...
What I'm discovering is that the sheer amount of food I'm cooking is producing heaps of leftovers. Instead of eating, say, a giant plate of pasta and nothing else, I'm eating small portions of salad, fruit, bread, grains and entrees, and I'm totally satisfied. I'm eating more food than ever, but I'm not eating more of it. I'm feeling victorious, even though I've lost a grand total of 2 pounds. So I'm back at 179. This week, that number is goin' down. *Shaking my fist in the air*
This weekend, I spent an hour on the mini-trampoline, watching an episode of What Not To Wear while I jumped and did kicks and twists. I love jumping on that thing. It is exactly like being a little kid on a hotel bed. Boing, boing, boing... I spin around, and do arm circles, and then do fast little jumps, and then big, booming jumps that rattle the windows in their frames and cause the foundation to creak. I only wish it was bigger, so that I could do butt-bounces. Because THAT would rock.
I also made my first attempt at Steph's 50 Pushup challenge. I did 5 good ones, and then collapsed on #6, and whimpered for the rest of the afternoon. Behold the lame attempt. I think I'm going to have to *gasp* work up to it. Which means more than one attempt. Which means pushups. Probably daily. Craaaaaap. Thanks, Steph!
On Sunday, my husband and I took the three kids ice skating. We had a blast! Our rink allows the kids to push chairs around, and they don't play any music with suggestive lyrics during this special session for little kids. I kid you not, we were skating around to Hava Nagila and The Chicken Dance. We want to go again soon. For the music alone. I'll be posting more about this over at Three Kid Circus.
Alright, so let's talk menus: Week Two, represent!
Monday - Oven chicken and dumplings and apple sauce. Chicken, red potatoes, carrots, celery, onion and garlic, corn, peas and maybe red bell pepper, veggie stock to cover. Flour, milk, butter and cheese and parsley. Baking powder and salt and pepper.
Tuesday - Samosas & cucumber/yogurt salad, melon. Potatoes, carrots, peas, onion,garlic, parsley. Butter, and curry powder. Flour, olive oil and salt. Whole milk plain yogurt, cucumber, garlic, black pepper. Watermelon
Wednesday - Allspice mashed sweet potatoes, zucchini and eggplant bake with red pepper coulis. Sweet potatoes, allspice, butter, eggplant, zucchini, red bell peppers, water chestnuts, olive oil, panko crumbs, butter, eggs
Thursday - Pasta with parmesean and butter, chopped salad, bread. Pasta, parmesean, butter, jicama, tomatoes, celery, french bread,
Friday - Avocado with baby shrimp, butter lettuce salad, fruit slush drinks, chips and salsa. One avocado per person - fresh baby shrimp, cherry tomatoes, sweet onion, salt and pepper, watercress, butter lettuce - orange juice blended with a banana and ice. chips and salsa.
Saturday - Quiche Lorraine green beans, fruit salad. One sweet onion, 1/2 pound bacon, swiss cheese, heavy cream, four eggs, pie crust, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper, frozen green beans, strawberries, bananas, apples, grapes.
Sunday - Pork tenderloin, baked potatoes, succotosh. One small pork tenderloin, one russet potato for each person, butter and sour cream, packaged frozen succotosh.
Dr. Clower suggests a glass of red wine with your dinner. Now, I'm not a wine expert, so pick your favorite. And he also suggests that you finish your meal with a bit of rich cheese, or a piece of dark chocolate and a cup of coffee or tea.
I think we should get Dr. Clower to give us a chocolate eating lesson.
Okay, so let's break this down a bit more. Here's the shopping list.
| PRODUCE | MEAT | CANS |
| apples, | Shrimp, tiny | water chestnuts, |
| avocados, | Pork Tenderloin | |
| bananas, | ||
| basil, | DAIRY & COLD | |
| bell peppers, | butter. | BOTTLES |
| broccoli, | Eggs, | curry powder |
| butter lettuce. | mild cheddar cheese, | cinnamon, |
| carrots, | Milk, | olive oil, |
| celery | parmesean cheese, | allspice |
| Cucumber, | sour cream, | applesauce |
| eggplant | whipping cream | |
| garlic, | yogurt (plain) | DRY GOODS |
| grapes | swiss cheese | spaghetti |
| grated carrot, | orange juice | panko bread crumbs |
| jicama, | fresh salsa | hazelnuts |
| lemon, | dried berries | |
| lime, | flour | |
| mint | FROZEN | baking powder |
| mushrooms, | Edamame | baking soda |
| onion, | chicken breasts | tortilla chips |
| parsley | frozen corn, | |
| plum tomatoes, | frozen green beans, | |
| red bell peppers | frozen peas, | BREADS |
| romaine lettuce, | Vanilla ice cream. | Baguettes |
| Russet potatoes | succotosh | bagels |
| Small red potatoes, | bread for toast | |
| strawberries, | ||
| sweet onion, | ||
| Sweet potatoes, | ||
| watermelon. | ||
zucchini, |
First of all, check out my left sidebar over there - see it? The new photo album/recipe thingie? I'm determined to actually post the dinners I make and eat over there for y'all to keep me honest.
Because sometimes, a girl just wants to hit the drive-thru and get a super-size fries, even if she made a giant shopping trip and just ranted about dog-crap in food. Must. Be. Strong...
Eliminating snacks from my diet may seem counterproductive. Yet that's what I'm determined to do. See, as a snacker, I habitually fill my body with empty, thoughtless calories, and end up overeating at meals, because my stomach was already close to full from all the goodies I ate earlier. I know that there are some people out there who have difficulty managing their blood sugar, and need to eat small, frequent meals. As for me, I really don't. I rarely find myself hungry, because I'm always snacking. This has messed with my body's cues in a big way.
This was one of the problems I had with some of the traditional diet programs - on the old points program through Weight Watchers, I found myself eating veggie soup for dinner every night, having found a way to squander all my points on a little bit of this and a little bit of that during the day. I hated having to account for every bite. They built in plenty of low-point snack suggestions, and while I appreciated being able to have a fat-free pudding, or a couple of low-cal cookies, or a diet soda, or heck, all of that and more, I was filling my body with synthetic crap in an effort to entertain my palate. Less than an hour later, I'd find myself craving a little something to tide me over. It was a never-ending cycle.
My challenge for this week is to cut all the snacks out. I've caved a few times, but I am finding that by eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, and including healthy fats in each meal, I am satisfied, and don't need to seek out a snack between meals. And you know what? I'm enjoying every bite. I've got plenty of energy, and I feel balanced. This is a major improvement, let me tell you.
I'm not saying that all snacks are bad - I know that other people (like, not me) can snack responsibly. I'm unable to, and I'm finding that the urge to snack is not based on hunger - which is the only reason to eat, if I'm understanding correctly. Who knew? Perhaps I need to take up a new hobby.
Once my hideous sunburn heals on my back, I'll be back to crazy exercising. I've added your DVD suggestions to my netflix queue, and I'm looking for more ideas and challenges. What do you want to see me do? Here's what I have in my arsenal:
You wanna see me do a Survivor-style obstacle course at the park? You want me to ride five miles on my bike while pulling two tantruming kids in the bike trailer? You want me to climb a bazillion steps? Want to see me attempt a challenging yoga series with my three-year-old "helping?"
I'm willing to try. More than that, I'm willing to document and present photo/video evidence for your amusement. So let's hear it. Leave me a comment with your wild plans - and if I maim myself trying to base jump off the play structure at the local park at your suggestion...let's just hope I don't maim myself. Too much. Golly, this is starting to sound like an episode of Jackass.
Exercise. The word gives me hives. I have a resistance to the idea that I'm supposed to give up precious time from my already busy schedule to "work out." In my perfect world, I would get plenty of exercise from switching loads of laundry and grocery shopping.
I mean, think about it – one trip to Costco is the equivalent of an hour of free-weights, right? Pushing around a giant cart filled with enough canned food to stock a bomb shelter, toilet paper for a platoon, with a flat of muffins balanced on top, all while singing cutesy songs to amuse your toddler - it's enough to get your blood pumping. Add in a tantrum in the checkout line and the realization that your Costco card is gone since you handed your wallet to the <s>screaming beast</a> toddler in your cart, and you've got yourself an aerobic sprint through the store, too. Laundry, well…when you are washing the comforters for the third time in a week because the flu is back in town, that right there is some serious resistance training. Ever try to put fitted sheets on a top bunk? I know you're feeling me on this.
Alas. Even with all the exciting workouts I manage to squeeze in, it seems I still need to pursue some additional exercise to achieve my weight loss goals. I've always enjoyed dancing, but finding the time to sneak away for a class is next to impossible. I love the effects of yoga on my body and my temperament. I'm eager to find a way to squeeze in a few poses a day, if not more. That whole mind-body connection thing is blown to smithereens when you've got Dora the Explorer shouting in the other room. New Age chimes and gongs just don't block that action, no matter how loud you crank 'em.
The diet plan I'm following is really a lifestyle makeover. In the spirit of that change, I'm going to be taking a look at the building blocks of my day, and hopefully discovering places where I can increase my activity.
I have to admit that I'm a terrible procrastinator. Nevertheless, with a little planning, I should be able to add daily walks of two to four miles, just by taking the kids to school on foot. I also have a nice selection of exercise DVDs and a set of weights, roller blades, a bicycle, a mini-trampoline, a weighted hula-hoop, jump ropes, one of those giant exercise balls, and a full compliment of yoga gear, all in a lovely shade of purple. I've got no excuses. Indeed, I'm well prepared for the challenge. Now it's just a matter of being motivated.
The biggest challenge is having my youngest underfoot. At three, she's eager to play along with me, but grows bored quickly and wants to ride me like a pony while I stretch. She fights for control of the exercise ball, and considers the mini-trampoline to be hers alone. Once, I tried jumping with her in my arms. We bounced merrily for about thirty seconds before her skull connected with my nose. Yeah. That was the end of that. She's given up naps, and I'm unlikely to find a time during the day that will be uninterrupted. Any exercising is going to have to include the kids, at least for the next couple of years.
I think the key for me is variety on a daily basis, and finding a way to incorporate more physical activity into my everyday errands and chores. Rather than making it a work out, I'm going to call it a play break. I want to try to keep it fresh and fun.
The first workout (er, play break): I just spent twenty minutes chasing my toddler, and being chased in return. We were both growling and lunging and squealing. As I'm typing, she's butting me with her forehead, eager to continue the game. "Up, mama! Up!" This is great! It's like having a personal trainer...she doesn't hear excuses, and she doesn't take no for an answer. This afternoon, I'm walking to pick up the kids, and I'm going to see how far I can get across the monkey bars at the school. Granted, you may end up reading a news report about some fool woman who dislocated both shoulders while trying to brachiate across a play structure. In any case, wish me luck!
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