Here We Go Again
Does anyone else have a family member that has to be more whatever than anyone else? In my house, it is my husband. If the kids are sick, he's instantly sick. And if I get hurt or sick, whooo boy. I love the man with my whole heart, but the sick-offs are getting ridiculous.
Me: "Ow! My neck is killing me. I need some ibuprofin."
Him: "My back! It twinged! My head aches. My throat is sore! I am dying."
Me: "You win. Now get me some ibuprofin, you sad sack of dung."
We talk so lovey-dovey to one another. We're all about keeping the romance alive.
So, yesterday, I finally made an appointment for my (still aching, thankyuhverramuch) neck - they couldn't see me until today. Fine. Whatever.
Seriously, five minutes after I told my husband that, he had managed to book himself a same-day appointment for a throat swab, claiming his throat was sore and it must be strep. I bet if you look at his medical records, they say "Wannabe Strep Haver. Just swab him and send him away. Easier than talking him down." He has done this about 500 times before, and never once has he had strep.
Which, in the scheme of things, is good. I'm thinking of helping him find a new pet disease to claim everytime he's competing for the title of Lauck's Most Sick.
He called this morning for his results. Not strep. But he's curled up in bed with a cup of tea and acting like death is right around the corner. Aaargh!
Me: "Hurt neck! Neck hurts! Maybe it's a tumor!"
Him: "Oh, I'm feverish and weak. My back. My throat. My legs hurt."
Me: "Drink your tea, and I'll go make you a medal for melodramatic hypochondriac of the year."
Him: "And can you get me some crackers?"
Me: "Aaaaarrgh. (Ow, my neck!)"
Good times.
Comments
My husband is the exact same way. My Doctor told me I was going through perimenopause ,so when we got home my husband told me he's going through perimenopause too. I began having urinary incontince so he had to start having it too(I think his is just laziness & craziness).When I'm having my (sometimes)monthly he'll claim stomach cramps,headaches & swear up & down that he thinks he has endimetriosis & needs a hysterectomy. He really cracks me up sometimes.
If someone close to me is pregnant I'll feel it. I've even felt a person's labor once. But my husband claims that at one time he had vaginatitus. I said,"Do you have a vagina?" He said,"no". I said,"then how did you get vaginatitus"?
He's even told me his ovaries hurt & he thinks his cervix & uterus is turned around too. Men!!
I think we need to send them back to school. You buy them books,send them to school & all they do is eat the teacher. LOL!!
Anyways, You are not alone. I even asked him once "Can't I claim at least 1 illness for my own?
Carol A. Stevenson
scarol621@aol.com
Posted by: Carol A. Stevenson | February 24, 2007 7:28 AM
I'm with you there! I just had surgery on my ear that I won't go into great detail about, but they basically cut my ear off to get to the insides......ugh. (reaching for tylenol) DH comes home from basketball practice whining about his stiff back. One evil eye look from me was enough to shut him right up though. Heh, chalk one up for MJ.
Posted by: MJ | February 25, 2007 3:55 PM
Thank god, I thought I was the only one. I get three hours of sleep, he gets two. I went through 26 hours of labor and he felt his back hurting the entire time. I notice the kids start to get sick, the next day "I feel awful. I must have caught it from the kids." When he thought he had strep(he didn't) I gave him an old family feel good remedy. actually it works for any time he gets "so sick I could die." Take a large tablespoon of minced garlic and mix it with honey and feed it to him straight off the spoon...Teehee. "honey, would generations of my family be wrong.....:-)!!!
Posted by: amy m orr | February 26, 2007 8:51 PM
My favorite nurse and I call them "man-colds". No matter how sick I or my child are, DH comes down with the MAN-COLD version and he cannot do chores, go to work, entertain the child - NADA. Meanwhile, I'm at work with a sinus infection, 5 months pregnant and still cooking dinner for everyone!
Posted by: Kim | February 28, 2007 11:37 AM
Mine always as "a flu coming on", which is brilliant, really. That covers SO many symptoms.
He's miserable to be around when his flu is coming on...
Posted by: Nancy | February 28, 2007 8:00 PM