*Banging My Head On The Keyboard*
I'm either congested and feeling like a horse kicked me in the face, or wired from stupid, stupid decongestants. Waaaaah.
I have no appetite. NONE. It used to be that when I got sick, I was pleased by the lack of appetite, but now I'm aware that if I don't eat, I get really weird. This last year has been such a journey in understanding what my body needs to function properly. Nevermind the really slow weight loss - it is amazing to me how much of what I've discovered about myself this year is surprising to me. I mean, I'm 34 years old. You would think that I would have known some of this stuff already.
What I've learned so far:
Caffeine makes me crazy.
Sugar pretty much sets me up to be crazy.
Eating all fruit results in weight loss, but also? The Crazy.
I can't bring certain foods into the house. Ever.
I'm chronically dehydrated, and need to constantly remind myself to drink water.
I actually don't like meat all that much, but I need to eat more protein.
My kids will eat whole grain pastas without a backwards glance. Who knew?
I need to journal. And I hate it.
Exercise is really key, and I'm not getting enough.
Part of my recent frustration (and lack of journalling) is my unrelenting attitude problem. I hate that I have to work so hard at this, and although I am funnelling all my frustration towards tackling this stalled out loss of mine, I can't help but feel a little backlash.
FitDay is a fantastic resource, one that I will continue to use, but I have found myself compulsively playing with my day's food trying to achieve a certain balance of carbs to fat to protein, as well as jockeying around with serving sizes trying to make sure I'm not getting too much of any one thing and it is making me crazy. I need to take a more relaxed approach to feeding myself and my family. I need to realize that a perfect balance of daily nutrition ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. More like a weekly balance. There are only so many meals in a day, and so many foods in a meal and seriously...Aaaaaargh!
When you have a perfectionism streak (like mine, disfunctional though it is) you tend to want to do things either 100% or not at all. You think to yourself: "I don't have time to exercise for an hour, so I'm just going to wait until I have the full amount of time." or "I don't have all the ingredients I need for this dinner I had planned. Screw it, I'm going to feed the kids McDonalds and skip dinner."
Life is full of perfection-killing obstacles. There are bumps in every road you choose, and you have to either walk around, or take a running leap over. You can't just stand there and wait for the bump to disappear.
I've been standing around, waiting for the bump to disappear this week. I've been bemoaning the state of my pantry, watching my mini-trampoline gathering dust, skipping meals from lack of appetite. No more. I'm pulling myself up and out of this funk.
Comments
After 4 months and losing 40 pounds I feel a bit like i am in a stall too. I am so sick and tired of writing down everything that I eat that I can't stand it but I know I have to in order to keep things in check. I feel better knowing I am not alone in this funk.
Posted by: BeLinda | December 20, 2006 1:23 PM
Yup. You have a very strong perfectionist personality. Identifying it is huge.
2007 is going to be big for you.
Body for Life is wonderful. If you started lifting weights the way they describe, you would up your muscle-to-fat ratio dramatically.
I emailed this to you but didn't hear back---
http://www.mybodycomp.com/
do the free fat analysis. It is much more accurate than stepping on the scale.
xoxo
I heard a great quote this week:
"One of these days is just a day of the weak."
Posted by: steph | December 20, 2006 4:54 PM
Good for you! I think it's great you're taking charge of your health! It's very important to realize certain triggers we all have (for me it's any snack with fake cheese--Cheez Its, Cheetos, Doritos) and avoiding those foods. It's also great that you have realized what foods make you feel better and which ones make you feel worse. For years, if my family wasn't home for dinner, I would make myself a big pot of Kraft mac-n-cheese or Velveeta shells-n-cheese (again with the fake cheese for me). I FINALLY realized that when I do this I feel absolutely horrible afterwards due to the huge amount of salt, bad carbs and lack of protein in this dinner. It took a long time for me to realize this and change it. By making small changes you can make a big difference in your health! Here's to a (not perfect) healthy 2007!
Posted by: Anonymous | December 21, 2006 5:45 AM
I'm with you! I caught a cold in Oct and it ruined my will. I am slowly getting back on track, this is week two of exercise five days a week. I find myself obsessing at FitDay too. I have found that I make myself CRAZY by trying to get the proper amounts of everything. I am of the mindframe that the weekly thing you mentioned is looking good....keep everything in perspective but also keep a handle on it! Have a Merry X'mas and I hope you kick that cold!
Posted by: MJ | December 21, 2006 10:49 AM
The plan for the new year is to loose a significant amount of weight. I want to look good for myself and my upcoming Bahamas trip in August. Is there anyone that can help me with a strategy on loosing the weight??
Posted by: Keneesha | January 9, 2007 5:12 AM