Conquering Food Demons
So, I've been grooving along, right? Fruit, fruit, sensible dinner?
Yeah. And then five minutes ago, I ate a handful of white chocolate chips without even thinking about it. And then another handful. And then I realized what I was doing, and cringed.
Time to update ye olde FItDay journal. Sigh.
My old friend, unthinking pantry-grazing demon, is in da house. And I'm really having to be deliberate every time I open a cupboard or the fridge. I hate having to think this hard. I cannot tell you how many times I've reached into the cupboard to get some tea, or something for the kids, and suddenly found myself with my hand in a box of something. It happens even when I'm not hungry.
It makes me want to scream.
Instead, I eat some more fruit, and drink some more water. Coraspartan left a thoughtful comment on my last post, questioning all this fruit, and the hated papaya in particular. For the next two weeks, I'm going to see how this fruit until five business works out. After that, who knows. Why the papaya, if I hate it so much? It has good enzymes that, combined with all the pineapple (and the watermelon tomorrow) are keeping things moving, if you get my drift.
See - I think I can safely say that I'm chronically dehydrated. When I worked a desk job, I kept a giant glass of water at my side, and took great pleasure in repeated refillings and subsequent bathroom breaks. Now that I'm rarely stationary for more than a few minutes, I'm just not mindful of it. This has several effects that I'm none too thrilled about. My face breaks out and peels simultaneously. I have poop issues. I eat when what I really need to do is drink some water. I also get lethargic, and suffer from horrid headaches.
When I went on the Crazy Fruit Cleanse earlier this month, my face cleared up. My poop issues disappeared. I had no headaches, had crazy energy, and wasn't having cravings for junk food.
Weird, huh? As soon as I went back onto "real" foods, I found that the lure of snacking was killing me. I wanted more bread. More crackers. More starches of every kind. And the reintroduction of dairy and meat and white starches lead to a massive breakout, headaches, and a whole bunch of constipation.
Boy, aren't you glad you're reading? We should get sweatshirts made that say "I survived Big Slice's TMI attack."
Something is causing me to not feel very good. So I decided that I'll try this fruit thing, eliminate most dairy for a few weeks, and see if that is the problem. So far, so good.
This doesn't mean that I'm giving up dairy. No. Just...no. But I can see that maybe, just maybe having whole milk in my coffee, plus cheese on anything that might taste good with a little shredded something-something on it, plus my love affair with greek yogurt, plus a recent bender with butter on everything could be contributing to my slow as molasses weight loss. And plumbing. (Ewww! I know.)
It is finally dawning on me that there is no end in sight. I'm really good with the lip-service. Oh, yeah. Lifestyle change good, diet bad. Change your eating. For life.
*swoon*
There was another commenter on my last entry, sadly anonymous. She points out that for some people to be thin, they really have to exercise a lot, and eat very little.
She thinks I might be one of those people, and I think she's right.
Now the goal is to be happy about the eating very little part. I'll admit, I've gotten a strange buzz off of putting my fork down after a small meal, patting my lips with a napkin and walking away from the table. If I eat slowly, sitting down, I'm fine with small meals. It is the countless unplanned trips to the pantry that are killing me.
MJ, one of my readers, recently confessed that midnight snacking is doing her in. She's good all day, and then wakes up in the middle of the night craving bread. She asked how to go about kicking the midnight snacking habit, and I told her I'd share how I got off the evening eating. (We'll pretend that white chocolate chip thing never happened for the purpose of this story.)
First of all, like with kids who wake up in the middle of the night, there is something going on with your body clock. I would suggest shaking up your before bed routine, and see if you can't reset your body clock.
Second, determine why you are eating when you wake up. Are you actually hungry? If you are waking from hunger, you need to pay attention to what you are eating at dinnertime. Dr. Clower (The Fat Fallacy) suggests finishing your meal with something fatty - a piece of cheese, some chocolate. Have a glass of red wine with dinner. You need to have something in your stomach that stays with you so that you aren't famished.
If you aren't exactly hungry, but need to put something in your stomach to get back to sleep, try a glass of milk, or a cup of herbal tea. Your body may actually be thirsty. I know mine always is.
If the siren song of bread pulls you from your bed, I would take the extra harsh step of not bringing any into the house for a few weeks. Whatever it is that you can't stop eating, you simply stop buying. The other members of the family can deal. They can make tortilla wraps or cheese and crackers for lunch.
See, after the kids go to sleep, my husband and I have been known to polish off an entire Ben and Jerry's. Each. I simply stopped buying it. I got some grumbles at first, but I knew I couldn't be strong. Now, almost a year later, I can have ice cream in the house without eating a bite. (Sssh, don't mention the pumpkin ice cream bender.)
I decided that I wouldn't eat after the dinner dishes were cleared away. If I wanted something later, it would be hot tea. Period.
An interesting side effect is that I watch much less TV than I used to. I find that without a bowl of popcorn, most of the shows aren't as much fun. And I'm okay with it.
To summarize (I think) -
If you can't stop eating something, don't bring it into the house. This goes for soda, too. Diet, even.
If you are actually hungry, try something with some fat in it during your meals - you will feel satisfied longer. Don't just eat empty starches. (Says the woman who is still eating boatloads of fruit.)
Oh, yeah. Drink more water. Hunger might be thirst. Or boredom. Or habit.
Okay! World's longest entry! Wooo!
Comments
I hear you on the water thing, I drank gallons more when I had a desk job. I feel so much better when i drink a lot of water - don't know why it is so hard for me to do it consistenly
Posted by: HealthyMummy | November 30, 2006 5:05 AM
1st time commenter. Long time lurker. Have you ever taken a look-see at the Low Glycemic Index Book by Rick Gallop? If you have not, I highly recommend it to you. (No, I have no stake in this book. But it is working for me and we seem to have similar eating issues) It's worth a try. Good luck!!
Posted by: Melody | November 30, 2006 7:35 AM
Try the papaya with a squeeze of lime juice. I stayed at a bed & breakfast in Hawaii once, and breakfast every morning for a week was a slice of papaya with a wedge of lime on top. At first I thought, "what a rip off, I should get a refund for the breakfast part of bed & breakfast!" But, it kind of grew on me.
Posted by: Jen | November 30, 2006 7:47 AM
OK, my food demons have spoken. I totally wrote the longest post ever, about my family's food issues (something I have never done) and I just lost the whole post. I guess I wasn't meant to lay it on the table yet.
The main question I had was if anyone has hear of or visited this site- http://radiantrecovery.com or read any of the books.
Anybody?
Posted by: tracey | November 30, 2006 6:08 PM
At work I chug water and feel pretty good. At home I get busy with the kids and dh & forget! Plus I don't drink soda at work but I do drink it at home, which increases the dehydration issue, I think. Before long I feel tired and listless and can't figure out what went wrong! I munch, too -- it's so hard not to!
Posted by: Mary | November 30, 2006 8:03 PM
Never mind the nay-sayer! You know what you actually CAN accomplish; giving up every pleasure in life isn't a long term solution. So you just keep on keepin' on; stick to your original plans of portion control and exercise. And I think the most important thing for you is to mentally appreciate yourself. You are an awesome woman; inside and out! Believe in yourself reaching the size you want to be, releasing the weight, and in time it will be gone! You CAN DO IT!
Posted by: prov31wisemom | November 30, 2006 8:12 PM
I was wondering if you had considered a food allergy. (That you might have one). It sounds like you feel better without wheat and dairy. Some preservatives in processed foods can cause reactions also. Just a thought.
Posted by: Heather | November 30, 2006 8:39 PM
There are also lower-fat cheeses and milk substitutes. My family is native american and as we age we have all developed lactose-tolerance issues. I have substituted Almond Breeze for milk in coffee and on cereal. I find I can still eat yogurt--maybe the enzymes affect the lactose? And small amounts of cheese are still okay. Alpine Lace has a reduced fat version of swiss cheese which is really good on sandwiches or in cooked dishes. Re: lifestyle change=good, diet=bad. Maybe Richard Simmons was right we don't want to "die-it" we want to "live-it". Change is hard, and change (from less- to more-healthy choices) is good. Keep up the good work! Here in the frozen north I keep the indoor temp. a little low so a hot cup of herbal tea is very desirable = lots of liquid intake...
Posted by: Katie C | December 1, 2006 4:43 AM
WOW! I'm honored that my inquiry turned into the longest blog entry on record! Woohoo!
I've taken steps to stop scavenging at night. I've taken ALL the white bread out of the house and replaced it with wheat. If you all could have SEEN the look on my face when I stumbled down the steps at 2am to find NO BUTTERBREAD! I was not happy. I almost got in the car....then reason stepped in. I ate a piece of wheat bread, went back to bed. Slept ALL night. I'm usually up two or three times. And the best part???? I started this four days ago and after the first night, I haven't gotten up since. Jen is right. If it isn't in the house, you can't eat it.....so STAY IN BED!!!!
Jen, I owe you a papaya!!!
Posted by: MJ | December 1, 2006 1:22 PM
Oprah's personal trainer, Bob Greene I think (?), is big on the no-eating 2-3 hours before bedtime. He says you want to go to bed feeling "a little peckish", like you're just starting to feel hungry. His books are pretty interesting.
Keep on Keepin' on, Jenny!
Posted by: Nancy | December 3, 2006 8:47 PM