Small Slice

I just posted over on Three Kid Circus  -

I've got an open bag of chocolate chips that are driving me to distraction. 

Check it out - I'll be back with my updated weight, and an exercise challenge for the weekend!

Posted by Jenny at 9:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

So, I've been grooving along, right?  Fruit, fruit, sensible dinner?

Yeah.  And then five minutes ago, I ate a handful of white chocolate chips without even thinking about it.  And then another handful.  And then I realized what I was doing, and cringed. 

Time to update ye olde FItDay journal.  Sigh.

My old friend, unthinking pantry-grazing demon, is in da house.  And I'm really having to be deliberate every time I open a cupboard or the fridge.  I hate having to think this hard.  I cannot tell you how many times I've reached into the cupboard to get some tea, or something for the kids, and suddenly found myself with my hand in a box of something.  It happens even when I'm not hungry.

It makes me want to scream.

Instead, I eat some more fruit, and drink some more water.  Coraspartan left a thoughtful comment on my last post, questioning all this fruit, and the hated papaya in particular.  For the next two weeks, I'm going to see how this fruit until five business works out. After that, who knows.  Why the papaya, if I hate it so much?  It has good enzymes that, combined with all the pineapple (and the watermelon tomorrow) are keeping things moving, if you get my drift.

See - I think I can safely say that I'm chronically dehydrated.  When I worked a desk job, I kept a giant glass of water at my side, and took great pleasure in repeated refillings and subsequent bathroom breaks.  Now that I'm rarely stationary for more than a few minutes, I'm just not mindful of it.  This has several effects that I'm none too thrilled about.  My face breaks out and peels simultaneously.  I have poop issues.  I eat when what I really need to do is drink some water.  I also get lethargic, and suffer from horrid headaches.

When I went on the Crazy Fruit Cleanse earlier this month, my face cleared up.  My poop issues disappeared.  I had no headaches, had crazy energy, and wasn't having cravings for junk food.

Weird, huh?  As soon as I went back onto "real" foods, I found that the lure of snacking was killing me.  I wanted more bread.  More crackers.  More starches of every kind.  And the reintroduction of dairy and meat and white starches lead to a massive breakout, headaches, and a whole bunch of constipation.

Boy, aren't you glad you're reading?  We should get sweatshirts made that say "I survived Big Slice's TMI attack."

Something is causing me to not feel very good.  So I decided that I'll try this fruit thing, eliminate most dairy for a few weeks, and see if that is the problem.  So far, so good.

This doesn't mean that I'm giving up dairy.  No.  Just...no.  But I can see that maybe, just maybe having whole milk in my coffee, plus cheese on anything that might taste good with a little shredded something-something on it, plus my love affair with greek yogurt, plus a recent bender with butter on everything could be contributing to my slow as molasses weight loss.  And plumbing.  (Ewww!  I know.)

It is finally dawning on me that there is no end in sight.  I'm really good with the lip-service.  Oh, yeah.  Lifestyle change good, diet bad.  Change your eating.  For life. 

*swoon*

There was another commenter on my last entry, sadly anonymous.  She points out that for some people to be thin, they really have to exercise a lot, and eat very little.

She thinks I might be one of those people, and I think she's right. 

Now the goal is to be happy about the eating very little part.  I'll admit, I've gotten a strange buzz off of putting my fork down after a small meal, patting my lips with a napkin and walking away from the table.  If I eat slowly, sitting down, I'm fine with small meals.  It is the countless unplanned trips to the pantry that are killing me.

MJ, one of my readers, recently confessed that midnight snacking is doing her in.  She's good all day, and then wakes up in the middle of the night craving bread.  She asked how to go about kicking the midnight snacking habit, and I told her I'd share how I got off the evening eating.  (We'll pretend that white chocolate chip thing never happened for the purpose of this story.)

First of all, like with kids who wake up in the middle of the night, there is something going on with your body clock.  I would suggest shaking up your before bed routine, and see if you can't reset your body clock.

Second, determine why you are eating when you wake up.  Are you actually hungry?  If you are waking from hunger, you need to pay attention to what you are eating at dinnertime.  Dr. Clower (The Fat Fallacy) suggests finishing your meal with something fatty - a piece of cheese, some chocolate.  Have a glass of red wine with dinner.  You need to have something in your stomach that stays with you so that you aren't famished. 

If you aren't exactly hungry, but need to put something in your stomach to get back to sleep, try a glass of milk, or a cup of herbal tea.  Your body may actually be thirsty.  I know mine always is. 

If the siren song of bread pulls you from your bed, I would take the extra harsh step of not bringing any into the house for a few weeks.  Whatever it is that you can't stop eating, you simply stop buying.  The other members of the family can deal.  They can make tortilla wraps or cheese and crackers for lunch. 

See, after the kids go to sleep, my husband and I have been known to polish off an entire Ben and Jerry's.  Each.  I simply stopped buying it.  I got some grumbles at first, but I knew I couldn't be strong.  Now, almost a year later, I can have ice cream in the house without eating a bite.  (Sssh, don't mention the pumpkin ice cream bender.) 

I decided that I wouldn't eat after the dinner dishes were cleared away.  If I wanted something later, it would be hot tea.  Period. 

An interesting side effect is that I watch much less TV than I used to.  I find that without a bowl of popcorn, most of the shows aren't as much fun.  And I'm okay with it.

To summarize (I think) -

If you can't stop eating something, don't bring it into the house.  This goes for soda, too.  Diet, even.

If you are actually hungry, try something with some fat in it during your meals - you will feel satisfied longer.  Don't just eat empty starches.  (Says the woman who is still eating boatloads of fruit.)

Oh, yeah.  Drink more water.   Hunger might be thirst.  Or boredom.  Or habit.

Okay!  World's longest entry!  Wooo! 

Posted by Jenny at 8:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

My oldest daughter is seven.  As I was changing into my pajamas last night, she asked me why I am chubby (her words) if I know that it is unhealthy for my body.  I bit back my defensiveness, and explained that eating well and exercising haven't always been a priority for me.  She scolded me for a minute, and then wandered off.

I wasn't hurt by her questions, but I was surprised by them, nonetheless. 

When my daughter was a baby, I had big plans to model good eating habits and to teach her to love her body, no matter what.  I grew up very aware of my mother's diets and watched her struggle up and down the scale many times.  I always thought I was fat, but I wasn't willing to skip meals or take other measures to lose weight.  I *knew* without a doubt that thin=pretty.

This is not a critcism of my mom's weight control methods.  Peers and media convinced me that my rounded muscles and thick torso were a mark of mediocrity.  Seeing my beautiful mom eating yet another diet meal confirmed that girls built like me would either have to diet to be thin, or give up.   

I was 110 pounds at age 15.  I thought I was chunky.  Youth and regular exercise kept my weight down then.  Now?  I am struggling. I want to be thin.  I know I am chunky.  My own daughter is watching every move I make. 

I never wanted her to see me struggle with food.  I never wanted her to hear me make disparaging comments about my body.   I wanted to be sensible and controlled and moderate. 

I'm not, though.  I'm not at all.  What kind of role model am I?

For my children's sake, I will not look for a quick fix. 
For my children's sake, I will keep working at it.
For my children's sake, I will treat food with respect.
For my children's sake, I will embrace an active lifestyle.  I will play.

For my own sake, I'll let go of the guilt.

So far, the "rules" I've set haven't been unmanagable.  I didn't drink all the water I planned on yesterday, and I only got in 30 minutes of exercise.  Today I'm going to be digging into my least enjoyed fruit, Papaya.  Fruit until 5 pm. 

I'm uploading the photo from my dinner last night to the Small Slice album

Posted by Jenny at 9:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay.  For me to reach my goal of 5 pounds lost by December 12, I'm going to have to get creative.

Here's my personal food rules for the next two weeks:

Black coffee or unsweetened tea. 
Drink 64 ounces of water every day.
No eating unless I'm actually hungry.
Nothing but fruit until 5 pm.  This is an experiment, obviously - but I think it is do-able.
Dinners to consist of simple proteins, small portions of whole grains/sweet potatoes and grilled or steamed veggies. 
Limit dairy to next to nothing. 
No eating after 7:30 pm.

So!  With these stringent rules to follow:

Monday dinner:  Grilled chicken with grilled asparagus and steamed brown rice.

Tuesday dinner: Half a roasted sweet potato topped with spicy black beans, with a green salad.

Wednesday dinner: Tortilla soup and jicama salad with avocado, red bell pepper and roasted corn.

Thursday dinner: Sauteed tofu and whole-wheat spaghetti noodles tossed with olive oil and parmesean, served with steamed broccoli.

Friday dinner: Scrambled eggs with sauteed bell peppers, onions, mushrooms and chopped tomato.  I'll probably serve this with bacon for the rest of the family, and maybe some hash browns.  Did you know that you're supposed to use precooked potatoes for hash browns?  Like, boil up a few whole potatoes, and throw 'em in the fridge - when you shred and cook them, they will not be slimy and greasy like mine always were. 

Saturday dinner: Ground turkey and white bean chili in the crockpot.  I'll have to be VERY disciplined with my portion size of this. I'll eat a salad first and limit myself to one serving.

Sunday dinner: Grilled salmon, steamed brown rice and steamed green beans.

All I can say is I better lose some ding-dang weight.  Eating all healthy and stuff.  Sheesh.

I haven't gotten my exercise in yet, and it is nearly 2 pm.  I'm determined, though.  My trampoline is already groaning and cowering.  It needs to suck it up, because Mama needs to get airborne. 

Wahoo!

Posted by Jenny at 1:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We're winding down our weekend of celebration, and I'm still suffering from the lead-bottomed syndrome.  I know, TMI.  I apologize.  I'm sticking with pineapple today.  Pineapple, pineapple, pineapple.

Of course, this means I need to go to the store and buy some pineapple, because, alas, the leftover Ambrosia salad, while it does contain pineapple chunks, is probably not the best option. 

We've been out and about, and I've eaten most of my meals on the road or in restaurants for the last two days.  While I honored my plan to eat small, I was astounded at the size of portions that some of the restaurants served.  When I ordered a half-salad at one establishment, it was served on a platter.  There must have been an entire head of iceberg lettuce, about 3 pounds of meat, two entire eggs, a pound of cheese.  I was horrified trying to imagine what the regular size would be served on.  It was an embarrassing amount of food, and it would have easily fed several people.

I scarcely made a dent in my plate, and was glad my in-laws were willing to take home the leftovers (the part I didn't touch.) 

Today also means I'm home, ready to exercise, with no excuses.  I'm planning some alone time with my mini-trampoline and the remote control.  I'm going to aim for one hour of vigorous activity today.

I'm hovering at 170 pounds, and have been for a week.  I'm going to set a goal of 12 pounds to lose by January 1st.  Given my track record, it is going to take some major will-power and exercise above and beyond my token 30 minutes a day to achieve that goal. 

I'd love to see a five pound loss by December 12 - the date of my husband's work's Christmas dinner.  I think I'll make that my first target.  Anyone else want to work towards a five pound loss?

Posted by Jenny at 8:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

I feel like I have rocks in my kaboose this morning.  That lead-bottomed feeling that comes from overindulgence. 

Truthfully, over the course of the day, I didn't eat too much... but I filled my dinner plate and went to town on roasted potatoes, green bean casserole, turkey and gravy, marshmellow and coconut salad (with canned fruit!) and rolls.  Mmmm.  Rolls.  And wine.  And champagne.

Is it any wonder I feel sluggish this morning?

We'll be visiting relatives over the next two days, so it is hard to say what I'll be eating and when.  In fact, this whole "logging my food in the sidebar" thing isn't working very well for me.  I write it down, and then eat other stuff when mealtime approaches.  I'm going to have to rethink that.  Maybe I'll post the week's dinner menu in the sidebar instead.

In any case - I'm going back to Dr. Clower's advice in Fat Fallacy.  Eat small.  It doesn't matter what it is - even fast food - order the smallest portion available, and eat it slowly.  Enjoy it.  I'm often guilty of ordering a giant salad at a restaurant, and finding that with toppings like fried chicken, heavy dressings and crutons galore, I might as well have ordered a burger.  Who needs a mixing-bowl sized salad, anyway?

I ate at an El Torito with my husband this week, and chose the tortilla soup and salad.  The bowl of soup alone was filling, and I couldn't finish the salad.  My husband ordered a combo, which was served on an oval platter as large as the one holding our 15 pound turkey yesterday.  It was unbelievable.  He ended up taking much of his food in a to-go bag.  We could have easily split an entree.

Sadly, my exercise streak ended yesterday, unless you count carrying limp, 45 pound kids from the car to their beds.  I'm going to take the dog for a walk this morning, and get the ball rolling again. 

And I'm turning all those leftovers into mini-turkey pot pies in a muffin tin.  Yum!

Posted by Jenny at 9:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

As it is Thanksgiving week here in the US, I'll be keeping our menus low-key, and hopefully low-calorie, as well.  I'm looking forward to spending time with family and friends, but I'm also apprehensive about sitting down to a table full of foods that I adore.  How will I control myself? 

After stressing about it, it dawned on me that I just have to go small, and focus on enjoying every bite that goes into my mouth, and I'm less likely to overdo it.  If I pile my plate and start shovelling, there is no hope.  But if I put my fork down, sip some wine, enjoy some conversation... I can do it.  I can keep from over-eating.

I'm not going do an actual menu this week - we'll be eating from the pantry and fridge, since I've got a bunch of stuff to work from.  I can tell you that tonight we'll be having soup and salad.  Lunch was a bell pepper and half an onion, sauteed with garlic and half a tomato, with a scrambled egg poured over the top and cooked through.  It was really warming and perfect for a cloudy day. 

I'll be updating my sidebar with whatever I cram in my mouth eat sedately over the course of the day.

I pulled out one of my bellydance DVDs today, and had a good ole time while my youngest was in preschool.  I try my best, I really do, but my limbs are not long and lithe.  Not even close.  From my chubby shoulders to my bitten fingernails, I'm not exactly making snake arms look sensual.  But it is a hoot, and what I lack in willowy, I make up for in the hip and shoulder shimmy. 

I love that part.  Heh.

Although it is a great workout for isolating body parts, I still need to get some mini-trampoline time in.  I'm off to do that now. 

Posted by Jenny at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm updating my sidebar with a section on my exercise streak - I'm on day five, and as soon as I'm done with this entry, I'm on the mini-trampoline for some crazy jumping.

Speaking of crazy jumping, yesterday I spent 45 minutes boinging away on the trampoline, watching reruns of What Not To Wear.  I swear, when I lose this weight, someone needs to turn me over to that show.  I would be the best show ever.  You should see me right now in my faded leggings and stretched out tshirt.  At least I finally colored my roots ;)

I'm also adding a section for daily food consumption.  I am determined to keep myself accountable for every bite that goes into my piehole gullet mouth.  This also means that I'll be reviving Small Slice... about time if you ask me. 

After returning to eating 'regular' foods, I'm up three pounds to 172.  I'm also suffering from headaches and heartburn again, something that I never struggled with over the days of fruit.  I am determined to get to the bottom of this, so that I can feel great all the time.

My blood tests revealed that I'm not deficient in any areas, and the threat of pre-diabetes has receded a bit.  Also, my thyroid is apparently still fine.  Must be stress that is causing my hair to fall out.  Big surprise there... luckily, I've taken big strides in unloading stress this last few months, so hopefully the hair loss will slow.

I've gone through a whole range of emotions this last week - the quick weight loss from the fruit cleanse made me greedy, and I toyed with the idea of diet pills, meal replacement shakes, super-low calorie plans and other craziness.  But what it comes down to is this - I don't want to eat crazy.  I want to learn how to eat moderately.  I don't want to take the pleasure out of meals - but I realize that I'm going to have to make some concessions.

Posted by Jenny at 7:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm so touched by all the wonderful comments - it means so much to me to know that you guys appreciate what I'm going through.

I'm on day three of my exercise schedule, and I'm feeling victorious already.  I got in a good, hard 45 minutes on the mini-trampoline today, and managed to keep my eating small and healthy.  I'm even more motivated to exercise daily after taking a look at fitday.com, and calculating how many calories I will need to eat in order to lose 2 pounds a week.  If I do no exercise, I should only consume 1000 calories a day - starvation rations, which my doctor and I agree is crazy talk. 

If I work up a sweat daily, I get the benefits of the exercise, plus I can actually eat a meal without fear of sabotaging my ability to lose weight.

With the fruit cleanse, I had to give up all dairy - which meant taking my coffee black.  I used to drink it black all the time, but in recent years have become addicted to lattes.  No more - I'm back to enjoying it black, if I have it at all.  I'm also really enjoying the different teas I've tried - will you guys let me know your favorites?  I'd like to branch out and try some new ones.

The plan (not that it is really a plan) is to focus on eating vitamin rich, nutritious foods, along with plenty of water.  For me, this means mostly veggies and fruits, with some lean protein and whole grains.  When I put it that way, it doesn't sound like much fun.  That's the other thing - I am focusing on food at mealtimes only - it isn't entertainment.  When I'm bored, or restless, I'm trying to come up with other ways to occupy my mouth. 

Sometimes, it is a cup of tea.  Sometimes, I chew gum, or torture myself with mints.  I brush my teeth.  I put on a tooth-whitening strip.  Usually by the time the gum has lost its flavor, or the time is up on the bleaching strip, I'm not feeling like eating anymore.

I'm still using every ounce of anger I have, and directing it at my thick waist.  This is the year it says goodbye. 

I feel like I have a good thing going.  It is a struggle, but I'm fighting.  How about you guys?

Posted by Jenny at 9:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm calling off the fruit cleanse - today would be my last day, but as of last night, when I was felled by a sweet potato, I realize that I've achieved what I hoped to.  Now the real work starts.

I've had a lot of time to think about why I've struggled to lose weight this last year.  I've also been thinking about my assertations that "diets don't work" for me.  It is true.  Many of the diets I've tried have had limited success, if any.  This is 99% because of my rebel personality.  I don't like to be told what to do, and I'm always looking for loopholes.  I'm also the queen of excuses.  If I had actually followed the diet to the letter, I most certainly would have lost weight.

This last 9 days has given me plenty of time to think about how I need to proceed.  I don't want to start 2007 with all these extra pounds weighing me down.  I don't want to cringe when I look at my family photos from this season, or worse, stay behind the camera, and have another year's worth of "missing mama" photos.

I've been eating healthy...except for the candy benders and random overeating.
I've been exercising...except I haven't actually exercised beyond arm exercises in over a month.
I've been cooking for my family...except for all those meals out.
I've been staying positive...except for all the negative self-talk I've been flinging around.

I feel like I'm a fraud - I started this blog with high hopes and high spirits, determined to show the world that I could successfully lose weight without a "real" diet.  And I've struggled for half a year.

While I believe wholeheartedly that the principles laid out in The Fat Fallacy are fantastic, I'm finding that I need to stop embracing the brie and baguettes, and spend more time embracing the produce, lean protein and whole grains.  I need to be very, very mindful of portion sizes.

I also need daily exercise, of at least 30 minutes.  I'm so inspired by Mel's great track record.  I started off yesterday with 45 minutes on the mini-trampoline.  We'll call that day one.  I'm going to start my own exercise streak!

The real work begins today.

Posted by Jenny at 7:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

As my 10-day fruit diet is coming to a close, I can honestly say that I'm really, really tired of eating fruit.  This must be what it feels like to be on Survivor.  It isn't that I've been hungry, or felt poorly at any point.  It is just...fruit.  Lots and lots of fruit.

The rest of the family is still eating a variety of foods, which will make this week's menu a lot more interesting than my upcoming two days of grapes.  Grapes, grapes, grapes.

Monday night - Pizza bread with steamed broccoli and watermelon.  The pizza bread is one large loaf of extra-sour sourdough bread, split down the middle and topped with homemade sauce.  SInce my kids still aren't much into spicy, I sauteed one small onion with one chopped bell pepper, sprinkled in some Italian seasoning and mixed in one can of tomato paste, with one can of water.  I spread this on the bread, and topped it with slices of mozzarella, and broiled. 

Tuesday night - Baked sweet potatoes, apple sauce and brussel sprouts tossed with bacon and garlic.

Wednesday night - Burritos (rice, whole pinto beans, chopped bell peppers, corn, fire-roasted salsa.  Served with shredded lettuce and guacamole.

Thursday night - Lemon glazed chicken breasts with parmesean-tossed green beans and steamed brown rice.

Friday night -  spinach salad with warm bacon dressing, mandarin oranges and red onion with cup of soup.

Saturday night - crockpot veggie stew with sliced fruit.  Assuming I'm willing to ingest fruit.

Sunday night-  grilled fish with cole slaw and sweet potato fries.

Okay!  That's the plan.

Posted by Jenny at 8:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Day 7 of fruitfruitfruitfruit.  It's an all watermelon day, and I'm hanging in here, although it pretty much sucks to be eating watermelon when the skies are grey.  I want to eat warm things.  Warm things in big bowls.  Topped with cheese.

My friend and I were talking about the times in our lives when it was effortless to keep the weight off.  Any truly slender times in my life were notable for one, or several of these reasons:

1) I was angry about something.
2) I was broke and I couldn't afford food anyway.
3) I was too busy to eat.
4) I had iron-clad rules to follow.
5) I was getting a lot of attention from the menfolk.

I'll be the first one to admit that last one is pretty sad.  But it is true, so there you go. 

When I made the crazy decision to try this fruit thing, it was an act of desperation.  After reaching 168 pounds, the last two weeks of October found me eating irresponsibly, and three days after Halloween, I stepped on the scale and was greeted by a flashing 178. 

Well, there's weight loss success bullet point number one - I got mad. 

Really, really mad.  Almost seven months of this so-called dieting, and I regained almost every pound lost in a flurry of bad eating.  (Some of this weight gain was related to my monthly cycle - but still.  That number had me seeing red, big time.)

This morning I stepped on the scale, and I'm at 169 pounds.  I have three more days of fruit before I plan to return to a balanced diet.  But here's the hitch -

The regular eating I've been doing?  Even though I think the portions I've been eating are reasonable, I'm realizing that there must be quite a bit of unconcious eating going on during the day.  All day long, I'm finding myself pausing in front of the fridge.  When I'm preparing a meal for the rest of the family, I'm constantly stopping myself from putting morsels in my mouth.  It has to stop.

The doctor's visit I had last week was perfectly timed.  Although I was looking for information on why my hair might be thinning, the doctor managed to drop a few words into our conversation that got me motivated.  Pre-diabetes, anyone?  Risk-factors?  Obese?

I'm taking a stand.  No more messing around.  I will not eat myself into diabetes. I will not pretend that I didn't hear the man say "obese" and comfort myself with the thought of my big bones and three babies in five years.

I'm angry.  I'm really angry.  And if I have to count calories, or eat papaya, or get up at 5 am daily to workout, I'm going to do it. 

I've also put my husband on notice that I expect some major catcalls and compliments.  Sad, but effective.  Heh.

Posted by Jenny at 3:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

I cannot explain exactly what the heck is going on with my body.  I'm on day four of fruit.  Fruit fruit fruit fruit fruit. 

And aside from my utter loathing of papaya, which has not lessened despite my repeated consumption of it over the last three days, I'm onto an all-watermelon day, and I'm feeling rather zippy.

I assumed that by day four, I would be ready to put my fist through a plate-glass window, that is, if I was able to even lift a fist.  Instead, I'm rocketing around the house, feeling clear-headed and balanced.  How weird is that? 

Since my body is apparently enjoying all the vitamins, fiber and extra hydration, I'm going to get in a five-mile fast walk while the older kids are in school.  My preschooler isn't feeling at the top of her game, so she should sit quietly in her stroller while I haul my buns around the neighborhood. 

The best part of this exercise in learning to embrace my nemesis, the frigging papaya, is that I'm relearning an important lesson. 

Just because there is food available doesn't mean you need to eat it.

and also:

Food isn't entertainment.  It isn't a substitute for being productive, or being restful, or being happy.  It is fuel.  Pleasurable fuel, to be enjoyed...but only to meet the body's requirements, not to singlehandedly assure that cheesecake manufacturers don't go out of business.

I feel empowered.  I feel like I am finally relearning to recognize my body's hunger signals, and my full signals as well.  I'm staying on top of myself, and it feels good to recognize that I DO have control.  I CAN choose to eat less.  I CAN feel my body ridding itself of some of the toxins that have been collecting since the last round of halloween candy madness.

And when this whole fruit insanity is over with, I can return to a diet rich with healthy foods in moderation, and continue listening to what my body needs, instead of what my eyeballs want.   

Posted by Jenny at 10:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I must apologize for my scanty posting as of late.  The lure of the halloween candy sucked me in, and I honestly felt like such a stupid idiot that I couldn't think of a single intelligent thing to post here. 

Luckily, ants invaded the candy stash, forcing me to toss the whole mess, and I've been dragging myself back onto the wagon ever since. 

With a few weeks remaining before the holiday season parties and photos start in earnest, I feel like I need to do something drastic to get some weight moving off of my body.  I've been hovering around 169 pounds for a month and a half.  I'm frustrated beyond belief.

I'm also not getting my daily exercise.  Maybe three times a week, and none to aggressive, either.
I'm not drinking enough water.
I'm back to snacking throughout the day, mostly on empty carbs.

*hanging my head*

I am on day three of a ten-day, all fruit diet. 

I know, I know.  It is bad.  Wrong.  Sending my body the wrong signals.  Will probably cause me to sprout another head. 

Aside from peeing every ten minutes, I feel great.  And from the number of times I find myself staring into my pantry or fridge, I'm realizing how much entertainment I derive from eating.   Clearly I have a long way to go towards a healthy relationship with food.

Chowing down on Halloween candy, despite feeling like crap, told me the real story.  Being not even remotely hungry, yet visiting the pantry or fridge AT LEAST 20 times yesterday tells me the real story.  Choosing to curl up in bed and re-read trashy romance novels instead of spend 30 minutes breaking a sweat illustrates it nicely.

I had my doctor's appointment today, and he spoke kindly, but pointedly about my risk factors for diabetes and other health issues, based solely on my body shape.  It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.  I felt like yelling at him "I'm trying!  I'm trying!  I've been eating healthy and working out and I'm trying!"

But I could try harder.  I could face up to the fact that I've been overconsuming, under-exercising. 

So, hello.  I suck at losing weight.  I suck at staying with things.  I need to own my failure to drop this weight, and I need to move forward.

I hate papaya by the way.  And I've eaten a boatload of it in the last three days.  Bleh. 

Posted by Jenny at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Today is my day on the Mother Talk Blog Tour for Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook - a charming cookbook inspired by the stories of Dr. Seuss.  From the back cover:

Award-winning cookbook author Georgeanne Brennan has joined photographer Frankie Frankeny to whip up the very first cookbook inspired by the wildly outrageous food references that abound in the Seussian oeuvre.

Well, then.  With its bright orange cover and large, glossy pages, it is quite a visual treat.  Throughout, the classic artwork and verses that inspired various recipes are prominently featured.  I sat down with the kids and had them check it out, and help me choose what we should try to make for this review.

I was gratified to recognize plenty of recipes (over 40) for kid-friendly foods, without dumbing down the process, eliminating herbs and spices, or relying on packaged foods.  The focus is on creating a delicious meal, not on special effects, although the suggested presentations are quite clever. 

You'll find a recipe for ricotta stuffed noodles "Cat's Mac and Cheese" - a multi-bean chili made with several canned ingredients "Zans' Cans Chili" - assorted charming snacks, and lots of recipes that my kids eat anyway,  hot dogs with baked beans "Nook Hook Cook Book Dogs," crispy fish and coleslaw "Finney's Freshest Fish" and more.  The process for most of the recipes is not difficult, but would obviously require adult supervision and assistance.

Last night, we chose to make Schlottz's Knots - which involved a  package of refrigerated bread-stick dough and some salt.  These were fun and easy to prepare, and were a great accent to our other dish, Hoop-Soup-Snoop Group Potato Soup.  A basic, creamy potato soup (made from potatoes, onion and milk) topped with your choice of cheddar cheese, bacon, croutons and green onion.  It was quick to prepare, and delicious. 
Behold:
If you are a fan of Dr. Seuss, you'll smile with recognition as you flip through these clever interpretations.  If you like to try jazzed up recipes for some of your everyday staples, this is a great book.  If I had one wish, it would be that the finished foods would have been more prominently featured in the artwork.  The food photography got lost amongst all the Seussian goodness.  This is a minor complaint, however. 
Georgeanne Brennan and Frankie Frankeny have created a fun, inventive addition to family-friendly cookbooks with the Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook.  You can check it here.

To see what other Mother-Talk Tour guest have to say, visit the Mother-Talk blog.

Posted by Jenny at 7:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (1)

I'm contemplating stuffing my ears with Tootsie Rolls, in the hopes of drowning out the siren song of halloween candy stuffed into out of the way locations.  Perhaps I should shove a couple of Dum-dums up my nostrils, too, to prevent myself from smelling caramel and chocolate.

I'm being good.  So, so good.  And while I can pat myself on the back for resisting, just having all this junk in the house is making me insane.  I still want it all.  By the handful.  Right now.

I've been making due by sticking with three healthy meals a day.  And pouting.  And stiffening my spine everytime I get near a forbidden zone.  And if I do find myself with my hand in a bowl of fun-size bars, I have been forcing myself to walk directly to the trash and empty my hand into the garbage.

Well, except for the eight Butterfinger bender I went on yesterday afternoon.  I learned my lesson.  I was sick, sick, sick last night.

I think I'm going to steal the idea of my friend Steph and have the Tooth Fairy pay a visit, swapping out the candy for a new toothbrush, floss (and in my kids' cases) a small toy.  I just can't have this stuff around.

Will power.  Wherefore art thou?

Posted by Jenny at 8:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)