Here I Go Again
I've been talking a lot about balance lately. How do you make time for everything you need to do, and still find time for what you want to do? How do you decide what is a need, and what is a want? Where do you draw the line?
Most people have a fuzzy-edged border between the two. I want to exercise, but I need to blog first. I need to exercise, but I want to sleep in.
Those of you who know me in person have seen how easily distracted I am. I'm like a magpie, collecting shiny things for my cluttered nest. I'm not exactly a planner. In fact, my "spontaneous" looks an awful lot like "chaotic" sometimes. When my kids were still babies, I skated by with nary a plan. And it was fine. It fit perfectly with my procrastinating skills - if we didn't get out for a walk today, oh well. There's always tomorrow. If I didn't find the time to fix a good dinner, and ate four granola bars and a bowl of ice cream, there was always tomorrow to make up for it.
With my days revolving around the school schedule and extra-curricular activities for the kids in one short week, I'm starting to freak out a bit. I decided to take a proactive stance, and write up a little schedule for myself.
Hee hee hee hoo hoo hoo - the Lamaze breathing IS good for something. I filled in the varying school schedules, the horseback riding lessons for my daughter, and the gymnastics for my son, and penciled in the preschool drop offs and pick ups. Then I stood back and looked at the calendar.
Where was the time for me? Where was my time?
Sometimes, spontaneous doesn't work. I know, because for the last five years, I've been meaning to take a dance class, learn to knit, have dinner with friends, start a revolution, lose weight...
I always tell myself that tomorrow is the day. I'll make up for today's lapses tomorrow. I'll call my friends tomorrow and set a date for dinner. I'll overthrow the patriarchy and found a commune tomorrow. I'll stick with my eating plan tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes, and the day gets away from me, and...
Looking at that schedule of family activities, I decided to make the time for me. I pulled out the community recreation schedule, and signed myself up for a Tuesday night bellydancing class. Ha! Hee! Hoo! I wrote the course dates on my calendar in pen. I'm doing it. And I'm already plotting for dinners out, and knitted scarves, and revolutions.
As a mother, there is a lot of pressure to put ourselves last. We turn our needs - eating well, exercising, getting enough rest, time for ourselves - into optional wants. There is supposed to be virtue in sacrifice, but when we neglect our needs, what are we offering to our family?
Balance - I'm not sure that one bellydancing course is going to bring it back to my life. But I'm realizing that just like the 8:08 drop-off at school, some needs of my own need to be scheduled and non-flexible.
Comments
You are going to start feeling great about having that belly dancing class. Looking forward to reading all about it when it starts.
Posted by: Sher | August 11, 2006 10:42 AM
yay!
Posted by: the womom | August 11, 2006 3:59 PM
Bellydancing!! I can't wait to hear about it! I'm sorry I missed out on sending you some love the other day when you were feeling so low. I'm glad you're feeling better now.
Posted by: Ginny | August 11, 2006 7:24 PM
I'm sure, scheduling time for yourself is the best way to go. (I'm speaking from experience.)
I'm a little hesitant to recommend looking at www.flylady.net to you. The system has helped me tremendously in getting the things done that need doing and having additional time for the things I want to do. (And it's totally free.)
Posted by: Susanne | August 12, 2006 4:52 AM
Good for you! I think you'll love it, and it will be so good for you to have that time - marked in PEN -to yourself.
Posted by: Carmen | August 12, 2006 5:23 AM
Oh, I am so with you there on the whole "balance" issue. I have been struggling all year to find some in my life, with very limited success. It's always, "Oh, tomorrow I'll..." just like you said. Thanks for writing this, it has given me inspiration to keep working on my own balance problem. (And work on losing 12 pounds...5 of which I have lost and gained and lost and gained all summer.)
Posted by: Ginny | August 12, 2006 1:28 PM
I've always wanted to learn belly dancing! Good for you for finding time for yourself. But be warned: it's addictive. I added some time for myself and now I want more!
Posted by: Mary Tsao | August 12, 2006 4:38 PM
That's what they tell you to do at Weight Watchers - write your excercise, shopping, planning and meeting times in your calendar. Which is exactly what I've done. I re-start Weight Watchers on Monday, August 28.
Posted by: Anne-Marie | August 13, 2006 2:46 PM