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Let's Have A Little Fun, Hmm?

I promised a contest, didn't I?  Here's what I want you to do:  leave me a haiku in the comments.

Haiku is composed of three lines.  The first line has five syllables.  The second has seven, and the third has five. 

Inspire me.  Amuse me.  Make me jealous with your mad 'ku skillz, yo.  Feel free to leave multiple haiku moments for me.  It can be addictive, I warn you.

Here are your topics: 

1) Dieting
2) Exercise
3) Virtual Models
4) Big Slice Panties

I'll award prizes on Wednesday, and announce the next contest.  Haiku away, and tell your friends.

Motivation Month!
I am inspired to send
you Big Slice panties.

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» I'm still not here from Woulda Coulda Shoulda
But while you're waiting, go check out the awesome Haiku Smackdown happening over at Big Slice. Hungry women come up with awesome haikus, yo. Haikus and diets and panties, oh my! Who knew health could be funny?... [Read More]

Comments

Marathon training.
Just as nuts as doing my
Bikram Yoga class.

I admire Jenny.
But I will freak out, for real,
if panties are mailed.

Shangri-la diet
is helping to shrink my ass.
Cookies, I miss you.

Countdown to BlogHer:
Tickets? Check. Fab shoes? Check. Hmmm...
time to buy new thighs?

(East coast time zone, yo--
Allows me to flood comments
while Jenny's sleeping.)

Walking for a cure:
Better than bailing basement.
Still, cellulite. Wah.

I will walk in rain;
I will walk in pain. Shrinking
should be imminent.

Virtual model
had wrong hair. And don't get me
started on her ass.

If Sudoku burned
calories, I'd be so trim!
Puzzles let me down.

Starting my day now:
whole grains, organic yogurt.
Oh, and screaming kids.

(Love ya, girl! *MWAH*)

Two haikus in honor of my recnt Board meeting:

Conference food!
So many pastries and cakes,
cause carbo coma.

My pants, they feel tight
Treadmill, Pilates, some dance
should shrink me a bit!

Here is my 'ku - each stanza covering each topic.

Baguette and Fromage:
The staples of my diet.
Hard to follow. Not.

Osmosis. That is
how those dam-ned videos
should work. From my shelf.

Not bodacious boobs
nor bootilicious enough
was my v-model

It takes fine bootay
to fill the Big Slice Panties.
Mine is just fabu.

(Oh, how I've missed Haiku Smackdown)

Virtual Model,
Is that really me I see?
To The Gym I Go!

Exercise I Must
So When To The Pool I Go
Bikini I Wear

No clean underwear
I hope Jenny sends new ones
Fedex Overnight

Mir is so funny.
No need for coffee when I
start my day with her.

I want to be thin
But I can't stop eating crap
I guess I'll be fat

Panties in a wad
It's too hot to exercise
Lovely excuse, no?

Diets are evil
Truly the spawn of satan
Pious girls eat cake

Crap Removal Squad
heading over to Kathy's
Don't give up, girlfriend.

With encouragement
Exercising and diet
We will reach our goals

Decorate my ass
My booty needs adornment
Big Slice says it all.

It's hard to write 'ku
listening to the Wiggles
sing "Hot Potato."

Mmmm. Hot potatoes.
Something else I'm not allowed
on my low-carb plan.

Virtual model...
Where's the double-chin button?
Now it looks like me.

Potato Salad,
bane of my Existence,
yummy cheeseburgers

Leftovers from hell,
get out of my fridge, please
without me eating

Baptism party
derail any thin hope of cute
dress wearing at church.

Extra-extra large
The only size that will fit
my capacious ass.

My fingers flying
so fast, didn't leave my name
on the 'ku above.

(sorry)

My scale waits for me.
I gained two pounds in one day?
Let me try again...

Destroying the scale
Would burn a few calories
and be so much fun!

Oh, Big Slice panties
I'd wear you outside my clothes,
I love you that much

Vacation did end
The laundry overwhelms me
Must go back to bed

Just for you Jenny and Grace!

said I would run too
discovered that means running
must say 'hell no' now

Cupcakes to the left
of me, salad to the right.
Ambidextrous?

Big slice panty fun
Wear them on your head or bum
We just love big slice!

seven miles, a big
ass stroller and all I have
is a pulled muscle

One simple click and
I am magically thin!
Virtual is cool.

Oh Big Slice Panties
a swath of cloth to conceal.
Don't shrink in the wash!

Mir: Haiku Machine.
At BlogHer she'll speak in the
5-7-5 format.

I once was fatter
When I used to eat cookies
I'm the Shrinking Mom

Elaine has slain me!
Salad cancels out cupcakes.
Girl's mad brilliant, yo!

And my dear Grace: Yes!
Radical mommies do 'ku--
panel poetry.

Back to task at hand:
Team Big Slice is on the move!
Wave our panties high!

Pre-baby ass, gone?
Oh, my mistake. There it is!
Right behind my knees.

my butt is so big
no pants will fit it proper
my butt is so big

Daughter now laughing--
she wants to 'ku, too. But hers
all involve boobs. Eek!

Diet, exercise;
soon I'll be thin, fit... perfect!
Or it will kill me.

Hubby cannot know
I await big slice panties.
Intercept postman

These are too funny - good luck with the judging

I spy double chin
Virtual Models don't lie
To the Gym I go!

Ok, gotta change mine since I stole the last line from Amy (not on purpose!)

I spy double chin
Virtual models don't lie
Get thee to a gym!

Ok, gotta change mine since I stole the last line from Amy (not on purpose!)

I spy double chin
Virtual models don't lie
Get thee to a gym!

on this sunny day
my bicycle beckons me
my book beckons more

Shopping at Wal-Mart
Skinny girl buying candy
Something is wrong here.

trimming bushes with
the kids keeps this tall momma
fashionably fit

What? Nothing from Mir?
It has been, like, ten minutes
She must be 'ku'd out.

Ode to dieting
short like baby carrot sticks
no panty prize please

Delicious ice cream
fill up my bra and pants
wrong way diet. Ouch!

He said of my butt:
"It must be jelly, 'cause jam
sure don't shake like that."

Moderation
A small bit of the yummy
and I will not gorge!

When food is here,
I will decide to partake
of the truly good

After days of rain
A sunny path beckons me
for a lunchtime walk.

Revision to my last 'ku

After days of rain
A sunny path calls me out
for a lunchtime walk.

Workout was tonight
Didn't go stayed home instead
Ate chips and soda

Counting all my points
Is losing its lustre now
Writers cramp ensues

Weigh-in tomorrow
Know I have gained a few pounds
Those scales do not lie

With Weight Watchers plan
I have lost fifteen plus pounds
But now I have stalled

Plateaus are a bitch
Why can't the weight slip away
Without much effort

The panties won't fit
If I don't workout a bit
On my ass I sit

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