Small Slice

Yesterday, I had my horseback riding lesson, and ended up with a nice bruise on my leg.  See?
Now, I'd like to tell you that I got this mondo bruise from some spectacular stunt, but the truth is I smacked it on the side of the mounting block, which tipped over while I was trying to hoist my Big Slice Panties into the saddle.  After that graceful maneuver, I rode with my usual combination of whoops and giggles until my lesson was over, and I limped back to the van with a tenderness in my calf that didn't seem to come from my normal riding moves.  Oh yes, I have moves, people.  Crazy Wind Horse Riding Girl moves.

Anyway, behold the bruise.  I keep compulsively showing it to people, like they care.  Not for pity, no , not at all.  No, I'm showing people so that they will make that "Ew!" face and ask me what happened.  Because then I can tell the story again.  And again.  I think I'm a glutton for attention.  I also think I need a pedicure, stat.  (Maybe they will ask me what happened at the salon!)

Before my kids were born, I always thought that I would shrink away from injuries, unable to cope.  Turns out I could probably be a great ER nurse, with this cool head and iron stomach of mine.  I never thought I would enjoy challenging myself physically, but with each new thing I try, I find that I am a competitive little wench, and am enjoying the aches and bruises more than is strictly polite.

Maybe I should take up roller derby.   I could use BigSlice as my call sign. 

The point of all this?  Get out there.  Try something, even if you think you'll look stupid, or wind up hurting yourself.  Because even if you do, you get to tell your war stories to everyone within shouting  distance. 

Posted by Jenny at 7:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned.  I have not replaced the batteries in my digital camera since Saturday night, and you have missed out on some spectacular examples of Dinners That Are Totally Not On The Diet.  I have also stalled on getting going with my Strip Tease Aerobics DVD, but I promise to share my uh, moves.  I've been stalling about getting back on the scale, but I am doing it tomorrow morning after my weekend of diet debauchery. 

It would totally serve me right if the numbers have climbed.  I mean, let's take Sunday for example.  I had a chocolate donut for breakfast, hot chocolate at the ice skating rink as a reward for towing my three-year-old around for an hour and a half, and then topped it off with a giant slice of pizza for lunch.  I mean giant as in as large as my head.  And I have a huge head.  I didn't eat dinner, because I was so full from the giant pizza.

(Tonight?  I feasted on a barbecued hot dog and baked beans, corn on the cob, three-bean salad and potato chips.  I would hang my head in shame, but it was good and I didn't stuff myself, and besides, it's hard to type with your chin on your chest.  I'm just sayin'.)

This healthy eating is easy for me, as an individual, but my family...let's just say they are fighting it a bit.  Oh, okay.  A lot.  They want "fun food" and "easy food."   

I've been feeling quite victorious about eating smaller meals, and eliminating snacks. However, it has dawned on me that I am still mindlessly munching while I cook.  I sample everything, and all those little tastes and nibbles add up.  No wonder I'm not very hungry when I sit down to eat.  I'm using small plates, but I'm probably still eating double what I should be eating, volume-wise.

My mission for this week is to eliminate the sampling and taste-testing.  The food crosses my lips when I sit in front of my plate.  Not before, and not after.  This might give me a twitching eye from all the effort it will take me.  Hey, I wonder if that will burn calories?

So!  Monday is our menu day here at Big Slice of Life, Small Slice of Cheesecake.  I've decided to make this a "fun finger food" week to encourage the kids to linger and chat during the meal.  I belatedly remembered that this makes me like the Cher character in Mermaids.  That's actually pretty funny, don't you think? 

So!  Without futher ado, here's some fun food for week three:

Tuesday:  Grilled cheese sandwiches, salad, cream of broccoli soup and fruit  ( mini croissants, split and topped with cheddar cheese, broiled until bubbly, green salad and cream of broccoli soup with sliced apples.

Wednesday: Spanikopita, veggies and ranch dip, sliced fruit (phylo dough and butter wrapped around spinach, water chestnuts and feta cheese, accented with oregano and parsley and seasoned with paprika, sliced carrots and celery and jicama and whatever else with ranch dip and sliced melon.)

Thursday: veggie potstickers, shrimp cocktail, cucumber rounds with dill dip (Cabbage, carrot, celery, extra-firm tofu, soy sauce, in samosa dough steamed, with shrimp cocktail and sliced cucumber served with plain yogurt flavored with fresh dill.)

Friday: Shish-kebabs - chicken, veggies over rice with watermelon (Skewered and grilled chicken, veggies -  mushrooms, peppers, onion, whatever else and steamed brown rice, served with sliced watermelon.)

Saturday: Homemade cheese pizza, tossed salad, sliced fruit (homemade pizza dough, topped with fresh tomato, sliced summer squash and feta cheese, served with a tossed salad and sliced fruit.)

Sunday:  Falafel pitas, avocado and tomato salad, tomato soup (falafel balls, served in a whole wheat pita with lettuce and avocado and tomato salad, with a cup of tomato soup.)

Monday:  Turkey meatballs, garlic bread, roasted zucchini and peppers (Ground turkey, finely diced celery and carrot, parsley, oats, egg and soy sauce, pan roasted and served with garlic bread and roasted veggies.)

Tuesday: Nachos with refried beans and jicama salad (Tortilla chips, topped with shredded cheese, salsa, sour cream, avocados and refried beans and served with a jicama and lemon salad.)

As always, if you have any questions about this menu, or ideas you'd like to share, leave me a comment or email me at bigslicejenny@gmail.com.

Posted by Jenny at 10:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night, my husband and three children joined my friend Kim and her husband and children at their house for a good-bye party for a long-time friend who is moving to Oregon.  This is a wonderful, positive move for her young family, and we are excited for them.

However, as we sat around in the cooling evening air, sipping margaritas and watching the kids play, we bemoaned the fact that we haven't done more spontaneous get-togethers over the last few years.  It seems like the swirl of daily life and the ages of our children have kept us apart, even as we patted ourselves on the back for staying close to one another.

I was responsible for bringing the food, and I provided a healthy, fresh spread that even the kids enjoyed.  We nibbled and drank, and drank and nibbled.  It felt good to just relax and not worry about whether or not I was 'being bad'  - I was not over eating, and I was enjoying fresh, real foods at a leisurely pace.  That's they way it should be, all the time.

Just like trying to get together with my friends and their families (and relax, rather than chase my kids all over the place) or enjoying a sedate, relaxing meal, I find that exercise is something that I've either avoided, or rushed through, with no sense of enjoyment. 

I used to scarf my food.  I spent social gatherings racing around after my kids, unable to finish a conversation.  I gave up trying to exercise because I couldn't make the time to do it alone, the way I wanted to.

The Fat Fallacy really emphasizes that we should be eating leisurely meals as a family.  Ha!  Ha ha ha!  My children laugh in the face of leisure.  They feel that all conversation should either be about them, or about the things they want to discuss.  They, too, have learned to eat quickly and scamper away from the table.  This eating together, and enjoying it, has been a huge challenge for my family, one that we are not winning.

But no more.  This week, I'm going to start treating meal times like a party.  We'll gather, nibble, converse, drink, circulate between courses - in short, we're going to enjoy ourselves.   I think this week's menu will be light, appetizer fare, paired with simple salads and entrees that don't require a lot of cooking. 

I'm also going to try to step up my daily activities to make them more active.  More energy, more enthusiasm...more fun.  The kids inspire me with their imaginative play and willingness to scramble over every rock, curb and post in our path.  I'm going to follow their lead, and see how I do this week. 

Keep the exercise challenges coming!  I've just received the Strip Tease Workout from NetFlix, and will be giving it a spin tomorrow.  Photos WILL follow.

Heaven help us all.
 

Posted by Jenny at 3:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There was a time, a few years ago, when I was lifting weights several times a week.  I had built up my strength quite a bit, and was feeling proud of my little girly muscles.  Even though they were hidden under a generous layer of fat, I knew they were there.  I could feel them, and I felt strong.

Flash forward to now:  I unearthed my old exercise journal, and saw the weights and number of reps that I was doing, and thought that I could just pick right back up. 

Uh. No.

I'm having to start over, almost from the beginning again.  I feel vaguely disappointed in myself - surely those muscles are still there, right?  It feels like I should be able to just start again, and be able to lift that same weight, the same number of times.  Since that's not the case, I'm just going to put aside that training journal, and begin again. 

This is the training routine I'm going to be doing: Mistress Krista's All Dumbells, All the Time.

If you haven't read through Krista's site, it's a fantastic source of information and inspiration to get you up off of the couch (or computer chair, ahem) and get you started with building some fat-burning muscle.  She's got workouts for every level, with gym equipment or ideas for things you can lift around the house.  I really encourage you to check it out.

The main reason I fell out of practice with the weights is sort of silly.  I used to keep my dumbells  on the kitchen counter next to the fridge.  I posted my work out routine there, and while the pasta was boiling, I could grab the weights and squeeze in a few sets.  They looked ridiculous, sitting next to the coffee maker.  I decided to move them to my bedroom, where I could close the door and work out in peace.  I haven't lifted them since. 

So today, I'm moving them back out to the counter.  I'm going to get back in touch with those girly muscles of mine.  I'm going to squat while the sauce simmers.  I'm going to lunge while I broil.  I'm going to dead-lift while I'm dictating spelling.  I'm going to multi-task in new and frightening ways.

Pick out a routine, and pick up something heavy along with me!  Let's flex our girlie muscles!

Something else that needs addressing (or confessing) - I didn't make the dinner I had planned for last night.  The day got totally out of control, and by the time I got home at 6 pm, I couldn't bear to cook a decent meal.  I thought maybe a glass of wine would be just the thing to get me in the mood for cooking.  So, after a glass of wine, on a nearly empty stomach, I found myself a little loopy.  The kids were worn out, and I gave them a quick dinner of french bread and soup, with sliced mozzarella on the side.  I didn't eat that myself, though.  No.

I had a bowl of chocolate ice cream, and then climbed in bed and watched three straight hours of television.  So there you have the Big Slice Off The Wagon Dinner of Champions.  Big glass of wine, chocolate ice cream, in bed.   It was way better than those dried out sausages I cooked last Friday.  Alas - tonight I will resume the actual cooking.  I should've taken a photo of my "dinner" for the SmallSlice album, but I was too busy licking the bowl and contemplating whether it is tacky to put a straw in a wine glass.   

Posted by Jenny at 9:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

Early this week, my friend Kim threw down yet another challenge.  We are supposed to be walking both to drop our kids off at school, and again to pick them up in the afternoon.  It's a mile each way, making it a four mile day if we do both drop-offs and pick-ups.

Yesterday, we did four miles.  Well, actually Kim did four miles.  I did four plus, because I have a three- year-old who thinks that dashing away from me toward the street is the height of hilarity.  So I get regular sprints with added stress built into my daily walks.   Fun, I tell you!

Our daughters have this thing about horses.  As I was struggling to shove the stroller through our front gate, I heard a shrill "Neeeeeigh!" coming from across the street.  My daughter threw back her head and gave her best whinny back.  Our neighbors love these tribal greetings at quarter to eight in the morning. 

Tra la la!

Anyway, so we got the kids to school, and turned around for home.  Once we got home, I ran inside and changed into my riding tights and boots and grabbed my helmet for my horseback riding lesson.  Tossing the three-year-old into her car seat, I raced off to my parents house to drop her off so I can have my lesson.

At the barn, I couldn't find the saddle I used last lesson, so I grabbed another one.  Once I mounted, the poor horse was not having any of this.  He was all "Look, lady.  It's bad enough that I've got to carry your 179 pounds on my back, but this saddle pinches (or something) and you better get off before I MAKE YOU GET OFF."  Yay for quick dismounts!  I was two seconds away from playing rodeo, and let me tell you, that was not part of the plan today.

Once we fixed the saddle situation, we got down to business, and I bruised my butt all up with the stand up sit down trot trot trot business.  I'm happy to report that I didn't feel like such a dork this time.  However, I assure you that I still looked plenty dorky, bouncing around the arena with a fist full of mane and a big loony grin on my face.  I felt like doing that whinny that the girls do to greet each other. 

After picking my daughter up, I raced home in time to catch Kim on the walk back to school, thereby forfeiting any chance for lunch.  At the park between pickup times, we let the kids play on the sand.  Feeling cocky, I walked over to the monkey bars and grabbed ahold of the first rung.  Once, twice, three times, I moved my hands to the next rung, and then I dropped down, yelling "ow, ow, ow."

Kim walked over and looked me up and down and snorted before spitting in her hands and grabbing the first rung.  She almost made it all the way across and really stuck the landing.  Okay, she didn't actually spit in her hands, but she did give me the stink-eye. 

Well, I couldn't just let that stand.  I mean, come on.  So I went and grabbed the bar, and made it one space before dropping and complaining some more.  Then Kim called her daughter over and made her watch while she did almost the whole monkey bars again.  Show-off!  I bet she can't lift her arms tomorrow.   Before I knew it, Kim had goaded another of the moms into giving it  a try.  She failed after four swings.  You know what this means?  Kim is hiding some superhuman strength in her arms.  And also, GAME ON, TOOTS. 

To console myself, I wandered over to the tire swing and sat down, promptly wedging my butt in the hole and getting whapped in the head with the chain.  I turned the tire swing over to the kids, and wandered over to lick my wounds on the regular swings, where I sat my daughter on my lap and discovered that trying to swing while holding a three-year-old works your thigh muscles. 

Are you guys working it?  I want to hear what you guys are up to!

Posted by Jenny at 8:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

If you were following along last week - you'll notice that I dropped two full meals off of the menu plan. Wait! Actually three! I've still got a whole chicken in my freezer, and frozen green beans, and a bunch of small red potatoes, and a whole bunch of stuff for lettuce wraps...

What I'm discovering is that the sheer amount of food I'm cooking is producing heaps of leftovers. Instead of eating, say, a giant plate of pasta and nothing else, I'm eating small portions of salad, fruit, bread, grains and entrees, and I'm totally satisfied. I'm eating more food than ever, but I'm not eating more of it. I'm feeling victorious, even though I've lost a grand total of 2 pounds. So I'm back at 179. This week, that number is goin' down. *Shaking my fist in the air*

This weekend, I spent an hour on the mini-trampoline, watching an episode of What Not To Wear while I jumped and did kicks and twists. I love jumping on that thing. It is exactly like being a little kid on a hotel bed. Boing, boing, boing... I spin around, and do arm circles, and then do fast little jumps, and then big, booming jumps that rattle the windows in their frames and cause the foundation to creak. I only wish it was bigger, so that I could do butt-bounces. Because THAT would rock.

I also made my first attempt at Steph's 50 Pushup challenge. I did 5 good ones, and then collapsed on #6, and whimpered for the rest of the afternoon. Behold the lame attempt. I think I'm going to have to *gasp* work up to it. Which means more than one attempt. Which means pushups. Probably daily. Craaaaaap. Thanks, Steph!

On Sunday, my husband and I took the three kids ice skating. We had a blast! Our rink allows the kids to push chairs around, and they don't play any music with suggestive lyrics during this special session for little kids. I kid you not, we were skating around to Hava Nagila and The Chicken Dance. We want to go again soon. For the music alone. I'll be posting more about this over at Three Kid Circus.

Alright, so let's talk menus: Week Two, represent!

Monday - Oven chicken and dumplings and apple sauce. Chicken, red potatoes, carrots, celery, onion and garlic, corn, peas and maybe red bell pepper, veggie stock to cover. Flour, milk, butter and cheese and parsley. Baking powder and salt and pepper.

Tuesday - Samosas & cucumber/yogurt salad, melon. Potatoes, carrots, peas, onion,garlic, parsley. Butter, and curry powder. Flour, olive oil and salt. Whole milk plain yogurt, cucumber, garlic, black pepper. Watermelon

Wednesday - Allspice mashed sweet potatoes, zucchini and eggplant bake with red pepper coulis. Sweet potatoes, allspice, butter, eggplant, zucchini, red bell peppers, water chestnuts, olive oil, panko crumbs, butter, eggs

Thursday - Pasta with parmesean and butter, chopped salad, bread. Pasta, parmesean, butter, jicama, tomatoes, celery, french bread,

Friday - Avocado with baby shrimp, butter lettuce salad, fruit slush drinks,  chips and salsa.  One avocado per person - fresh baby shrimp, cherry tomatoes, sweet onion, salt and pepper, watercress, butter lettuce - orange juice blended with a banana and ice.  chips and salsa.

Saturday - Quiche Lorraine green beans, fruit salad. One sweet onion, 1/2 pound bacon, swiss cheese, heavy cream, four eggs, pie crust, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper, frozen green beans, strawberries, bananas, apples, grapes.

Sunday - Pork tenderloin, baked potatoes, succotosh. One small pork tenderloin, one russet potato for each person, butter and sour cream, packaged frozen succotosh.

Dr. Clower suggests a glass of red wine with your dinner.  Now, I'm not a wine expert, so pick your favorite.  And he also suggests that you finish your meal with a bit of rich cheese, or a piece of dark chocolate and a cup of coffee or tea. 

I think we should get Dr. Clower to give us a chocolate eating lesson. 

Okay, so let's break this down a bit more.  Here's the shopping list. 

Posted by Jenny at 11:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday, I skipped breakfast, and ended up snacking throughout the morning.  I was disappointed with myself, but by lunch, when I sat down to a lovely salad and bread, I decided to learn from my mistake, instead of beating myself up about it.  This morning, I enjoyed a mini-bagel with an egg, scrambled with basil, red bell pepper, onion and a banana.  I know I'll be fine until lunch. 

Eating this way requires some forethought, and a pantry and fridge full of ingredients.  That is pretty intimidating for a mom like me, with a husband who works long hours and three busy kids.  I spent five dollars on ingredients for my homemade mac and cheese, and I had to laugh, because I could have made boxed mac and cheese for less than a dollar.  Why is it so expensive to cook from scratch?

The truth is, my mac and cheese recipe made enough for two dinners plus a week's worth of lunches for all three kids.  I packed away the leftovers in the freezer, for a day when the kids don't like the dinner I'm preparing, or I need a break from cooking.  How great is that?  You don't get that with your 99 cent box of neon orange mac and cheese.  It didn't even take any more time. 

I had become leery of cooking from scratch for a long while, because the lure of 'easy' and 'quick' and 'cheap' was powerful.  But I'm finding that each of the dinners I've made have taken me about a half-hour to put together.  I spend at least that much time making things from boxes and cans and freezer pouches. 

I took my grocery list to the store and spent about $180 on the things I had listed.  (I didn't shop at Trader Joe's this time... I find that I always save money there, but Safeway is right around the corner, and they have pull-ups.  Yes, my three-and-a-half-year-old is still in pull-ups.  SIgh.)  I expected that this shopping trip would be a week's worth of food.  But I will seriously be getting two weeks (or more for the non-perishables) out of my money.  When I figure that I spend $20 a shot at a fast-food restaurant to feed my family one meal, and cooking at home works out to about $12 a day for the whole family... that quick and easy doesn't sound so great anymore.

"U.S. residents spend more on fast food than they do on movies, books, magazines, newspapers, and videos combined.  Americans paid over $110 billion on burgers, fried chicken, and other fast foods in 2000, compared with $6 billion in 1970."  Will Clower, The Fat Fallacy, page 145

This is all a learning process for me.  I'm already thinking ahead to my menu and shopping list for next week... I'm starting to see that there are many tasty, simple ways to feed my family that don't have to have a brand name or pretty package, and it's exciting.  As my portion sizes continue to shrink, I'm more satisfied by the variety of foods that I'm eating, and looking forward to not only eating the next meal, but preparing it, too.  This is a huge change in my attitude.

One other facet that I haven't discussed is the amount of meat that I am eating.  Says Dr. Will:

"This is the French diet.  So we are going to eat (in most ways) like the French.  Refer to the earlier section on comparing food pyramids of the world.  The least healthy culture chosen (ours) has the highest recommended levels of red meats.

Coincidence?  Maybe, but I'm going with the populations that don't have all our heart problems.

• In The Fat Fallacy diet, limit red meat consumption to approximately one time per certified blue moon, or once every other week, whichever comes first.
• Here's the hierarchy: Eat mostly fish, then chicken, then lean pork, then red meats."            Will Clower, The Fat Fallacy, page 229

We're not big meat eaters, so you'll see that most weeks, we eat a little chicken, a little fish, sometimes some turkey, and the occasional bacon.  But that's pretty much it.  I'll be posting my meals to the photo album over to the left side, and will tackle my first exercise challenge this weekend.  Have a great weekend!

Posted by Jenny at 9:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (1)

First of all, check out my left sidebar over there - see it?  The new photo album/recipe thingie?  I'm determined to actually post the dinners I make and eat over there for y'all to keep me honest. 

Because sometimes, a girl just wants to hit the drive-thru and get a super-size fries, even if she made a giant shopping trip and just ranted about dog-crap in food.  Must.  Be.  Strong...

Eliminating snacks from my diet may seem counterproductive.  Yet that's what I'm determined to do.  See, as a snacker, I habitually fill my body with empty, thoughtless calories, and end up overeating at meals, because my stomach was already close to full from all the goodies I ate earlier.  I know that there are some people out there who have difficulty managing their blood sugar, and need to eat small, frequent meals.  As for me, I really don't.  I rarely find myself hungry, because I'm always snacking.  This has messed with my body's cues in a big way.

This was one of the problems I had with some of the traditional diet programs - on the old points program through Weight Watchers, I found myself eating veggie soup for dinner every night, having found a way to squander all my points on a little bit of this and a little bit of that during the day.  I hated having to account for every bite.   They built in plenty of low-point snack suggestions, and while I appreciated being able to have a fat-free pudding, or a couple of low-cal cookies, or a diet soda, or heck, all of that and more, I was filling my body with synthetic crap in an effort to entertain my palate.  Less than an hour later, I'd find myself craving a little something to tide me over.  It was a never-ending cycle.

My challenge for this week is to cut all the snacks out.  I've caved a few times, but I am finding that by eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, and including healthy fats in each meal, I am satisfied, and don't need to seek out a snack between meals.  And you know what?  I'm enjoying every bite.  I've got plenty of energy, and I feel balanced.  This is a major improvement, let me tell you.

I'm not saying that all snacks are bad - I know that other people (like, not me) can snack responsibly.  I'm unable to, and I'm finding that the urge to snack is not based on hunger - which is the only reason to eat, if I'm understanding correctly.  Who knew?  Perhaps I need to take up a new hobby.

Once my hideous sunburn heals on my back, I'll be back to crazy exercising. I've added your DVD suggestions to my netflix queue, and I'm looking for more ideas and challenges.  What do you want to see me do?  Here's what I have in my arsenal:

• mini-trampoline
• weighted hula-hoop
• roller blades
• scooter
• bike
• exercise ball
• assorted dumbbells and a curling bar
• jump rope
• good walking shoes
• newly started horseback riding lessons (Haaa!  Comedy GOLD, people!)
• access to all sorts of indoor and outdoor exercise venues - ice and roller skating, rock climbing, paddle boats, hiking trails, inflatable indoor party gym place, dance studios, the beach, the redwoods... use your imagination.
• no shame
• several new, cute exercise outfits from Target, to whom we should just give the paycheck, already.
• a camera capable of stills AND video

You wanna see me do a Survivor-style obstacle course at the park?  You want me to ride five miles on my bike while pulling two tantruming kids in the bike trailer?  You want me to climb a bazillion steps?  Want to see me attempt a challenging yoga series with my three-year-old "helping?"

I'm willing to try.  More than that, I'm willing to document and present photo/video evidence for your amusement.  So let's hear it.  Leave me a comment with your wild plans - and if I maim myself trying to base jump off the play structure at the local park at your suggestion...let's just hope I don't maim myself.  Too much.  Golly, this is starting to sound like an episode of Jackass. 

Posted by Jenny at 10:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (1)

Every afternoon, my two older children have swimming lessons at our local pool.  With three kids, the smart thing to do would be to bring my bathing suit and play in the water with my three year old while waiting for the older two to finish their lessons. 

Actually, I've planned on doing that, I really have.  However, I sunburned my back so badly at the beach on Mother's Day that a soft tee shirt is excruciating.  I'm going to have to wait until it heals before I get back in the water.  Not that I'm so excited about prancing around in my swimming suit, mind you.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I took the kids to the pool that our homeowners dues pay for.  There was no one there, and I allowed myself to lay back in the water, floating without a care in the middle of the deep end.  I breathed in and out, in and out, and let myself drift on the surface.  I stopped thinking about my large thighs.  The water held me up, and I felt the tension just melt away.  I must have floated for ten, fifteen minutes at a stretch, only bobbing up to check on the kids.  It was so peaceful that I have been craving a repeat performance.  Alas, I am a lobster. 

Granted, swimming in a public pool with my three year old, and half the town isn't exactly peaceful.  But it would keep me safe from the siren song of the concession stand. 

The Fat Fallacy is all about eating real food.  Real.  Not things like Skittles and Coca-cola and nacho cheese.  Gummy worms are not real food.  Red Vines?  Totally not real food.  I knew I would be coming home and having a nice dinner of homemade mac and cheese, and I was looking forward to it.  I walked my three-year-old around the pavement four times before I thought to check and see if they would have anything "real" to snack on. 

I ended up getting tortilla chips coated with Que Bueno! Nacho "cheese" out of a pump.  I only ate a few, and felt guilty as hell, but man.  Why do I love that stuff?

My friend Kim pointed out to me that as consumers, we just accept the additives and mystery scientific-sounding ingredients in our food.  We don't even know what half this stuff is, and yet we put it in our grocery carts, and into our mouths.

"What is "red#40"? It's a dye.  Right.  But what is that?  They don't have to list the ingredients of dyes.  There are dyes in lots of things: paint, plastics, clothes.  Do we really need them in our food?

The same goes for drinks.  If you don't know what it is, don't drink it.  Just try to say the ingredients on the back of a can of bubbly black, clear, or neon cola.  Read the labels and you often see lactic acid in there - that's the muscle toxin that gives you cramps when you exercise.  Another one is phosphoric acid.  Prior to returning to graduate school, I was a research chemist and had to keep this stuff under the hood if I was even going to take the lid off."

~Will Clower, The Fat Fallacy, page 188-189

Kim's whole point was this:  if you tell someone that their food had just a little dog crap in it, would they still eat it?  I wouldn't.  Even if it was a microscopic amount.  I'm not eating dog crap.  Nope.  Not doing it.  Yet, today I sidled up to the counter and bought myself a paper dish of Que Bueno, which could contain dog crap, for all I know.  I just don't know.

I'm going to be putting all future foods through the dog-crap test - if I don't know for sure, I'm not eating it.   

Posted by Jenny at 9:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

I spent Mother's Day at the beach with my family, and despite having a variety of chips, cookies and other goodies to choose from, I was pretty good.  I spent my time toe deep in the freezing water, and ended up with a horrific sunburn on my back.  Lesson learned: maybe have someone over the age of five put on your sunblock.  The backs of my thighs are sore today, too, from the ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch sprints across the hot sand.  Last night found me face down in a chocolate cream pie, in an effort to make myself forget about the PAIN radiating from my back.  Ow.  And also, yum!

Although I was due to grocery shop on Saturday, somehow we managed to scavange for our meals this weekend.  I'll be heading off to the store today, and as promised, I made up a menu for the week, and a grocery list.  I'll elaborate on these as I cook them, but I'm not much of a recipe girl.  I like to wing it.  Here it is: 

Breakfasts –

orange juice and tea

Scrambled egg, half piece toast with butter

Oatmeal with brown sugar and shot of cream

Mini bagel with melted swiss cheese

Whole milk yogurt

Lunch –

green salad with dried fruit, lots of variety, hard boiled egg or tuna or something, and sliced French bread with olive oil and vinegar dressing.

Things I want to try to eat every day:

Sweet potato

Banana

Apple

Leafy Greens

Olive Oil

French Bread

Nuts

Edamame

Monday Dinner - 

Lazy Chicken (TJ’s vodka pasta sauce, chicken in slow cooker) served over pappardelle noodles, with steamed broccoli, fruit salad and bruchetta baguettes for appetizer. 

(Frozen chicken, jar of pasta sauce, noodles, strawberries, bananas, apples, cinnamon, cherry or plum tomatoes, basil, sweet onion, olive oil, balsamic vinegar broccoli, parmesean, baguette whipping cream.)

Tuesday Dinner – 

Homemade macaroni and cheese, chopped jicama and avocado salad with lime, fresh bread, tomato soup for appetizer, melon for dessert.

(Milk, noodles, butter, panko crumbs, mild cheddar cheese, jicama, avocado, frozen corn, lime, tomato soup, watermelon.)

Wednesday Dinner –

Baked sweet potatoes topped with chili beans and sour cream, steamed brown rice, peas.  Sliced red bell peppers, sautéed in olive oil with onion and garlic.  Ice cream for dessert

(Sweet potatoes, canned chili beans, sour cream, brown rice, frozen peas, red bell peppers onion garlic.  Vanilla ice cream.)

Thursday Dinner –

Fried rice with egg, almonds, peas, carrots, water chestnuts and snow peas.  Chicken lettuce wraps (chopped chicken, grated carrot, chopped mushrooms, hoisin sauce, chopped water chestnuts, chopped bamboo shoots, chopped almonds, oyster sauce – with two heads butter lettuce) .  Cucumber salad rice vinegar. Edamame. 

(Left over rice from night before, almonds, frozen peas, grated carrot, chopped waterchestnuts, chicken bamboo shoots, mushrooms, oyster sauce, hoisin sauce, butter lettuce.  Cucumber, rice vinegar.  Edamame)

Friday Dinner – 

Frozen cheese pizza and green salad, sliced apples.  (Two frozen pizzas, romaine lettuce, crutons, apples, parmesean cheese, dressing)

Saturday Dinner – 

Grilled sausages, roasted peppers and zucchini and onion with barbecue sauce over rice. 

(Italian sausages, bell peppers, zucchini, onion, barbecue sauce, brown rice.)

Sunday Dinner - 

whole roasted chicken with garlic, potato salad, green beans with almonds. 

(Small red potatoes, whole chicken, frozen green beans, almonds, parmesean, butter. Eggs, garlic, carrots, celery onion, lemon, parsley)

Shopping list:

Posted by Jenny at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

     I leaped onto the scale this morning, prepared to do a victory dance.  Granted, given the narrow width of my bathroom, it would be an awkward dance, but I anticipated seeing a loss, because I've been really cleaning up my act this week.  I pushed the button and waited while it showed me my last measurements: 43% body fat, people - I'm sure to survive any famines on the strength of my fat stores alone, and 179 pounds.  I stepped up, toes wiggling. 

     181 pounds.  Go me.

     Actually, though, this is my lovely week of bloating, so I'm staying off the scale for a few days. I'm not going to allow the disappointment of calling off my victory dance to keep me from working hard at this diet.  So, what exactly am I doing?  Let me explain why I'm following this diet, and how it is supposed to work:

     The whole idea is to eat three small but varied meals a day, made from food...real food, not packaged foods full of additives and preservatives.  By including healthy fats like olive oil and small amounts of cream and butter in my daily eating, my body should stay satisfied for longer, even with smaller portions.  Really, the smaller portions is the key for the weight loss.  Less food = less calories. 

    Say it with me:  Duuuuuuuh.  The problem here is that I'm really a quantity girl. I like a big heaping plate of pasta.  I like second helpings.  I have become accustomed to feeling uncomfortably full at the end of a meal, rather than satisfied.  Not only that, after seven straight years of trying to eat as quickly as possible, I can shovel food in like nobody's business.  I can get an entire meal in before someone needs me to leap up and fetch something or wipe something or any of the other somethings that come with small children. I eat so fast I don't give my body time to tell me I'm full, and I consistenly overeat.  It's really pretty disgusting, when I think about it. 

     Another idea behind this way of eating is to sit down at the table with your meals.  Take small bites.  Enjoy the flavor and texture.  Experience the food you are eating.  I have to admit, this seems like a big "Duh" point to make, but as I drove through crazy traffic with a soft pretzel from Target held in my teeth, I realized that not only wasn't I truly hungry, but I wasn't even tasting the food as I wolfed it down.  Last week, I found myself packing my cheeks with cereal as I gathered ingredients for dinner from the pantry.  I had both cheeks so full that I could barely close my lips, and I had another handful ready.  Why? 

     It seems that I'm a mindless grazer.  I eat without thought, without planning.  We eat a lot of fast food, because I'm always out of something, despite repeated trips to the store, and the thought of cooking at the end of a hectic day leaves me pouting like a spoiled toddler.  A quick run through the drive-thru, and I can get on with the rest of my evening.

     But here's a thought - I actually love to cook.  I'm a great cook, and I love to work with food.  I love to eat, too.  Why am I deliberately choosing garbage food over a simple, easily prepared meal at home?  I blame this squarely on the kids.  The hour before dinnertime is crazy around here.  The kids are in their witching hour, and I spend most of the time keeping them from hurling their siblings off the fort in the yard, or worse, tattling.  I just want to get them fed and get it over with.

     What are they learning from that attitude, though?  Certainly not appreciation for a good meal.  I'm determined to make mealtime a family affair, from the menu planning and shopping to the preparing and eating.  I want them to have an understanding of healthy food choices.  At seven, five and three, they are old enough to participate.  Now, if I can just get my control-freak kitchen attitude adjusted, I can envision them tossing salad, slicing berries and bananas, grating cheese...

    I can also envision myself cleaning up enthusiastically tossed lettuce from the floor, cleaning smashed berries off of the chairs, and having to bathe the entire trio before I can finish making dinner.  Whatever.  It might be better than having them out in the yard, stripped down to their underpants and standing onto of the play-fort while they yell at passing cars.  Not that that ever happens around here.  Ahem.

     I'll be doing my weekly grocery shopping tomorrow.  Shall I post my menu for the week, and a shopping list?  I think it might force me to actually have a plan, and inspire me to stick with it. 

     Also - I've decided that this whole exercise baloney would be a whole lot more fun if I had accomplices.  Leave me a comment with a suggested activity that you'd like to see me try.  As long as it doesn't involve jumping out of a plane, and I can do it locally, I'm game.  Bonus points if you come up with something that I can do WITH my kids.  I'll even take pictures and post them here, photo essay-style.  I've just discovered that I can rent exercise DVDs from Netflix, too, so recommend away, and I'll put 'em in my queue.   

Posted by Jenny at 9:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

Exercise.  The word gives me hives.   I have a resistance to the idea that I'm supposed to give up precious time from my already busy schedule to "work out."  In my perfect world, I would get plenty of exercise from switching loads of laundry and grocery shopping.   

I mean, think about it – one trip to Costco is the equivalent of an hour of free-weights, right?   Pushing around a giant cart filled with enough canned food to stock a bomb shelter, toilet paper for a platoon, with a flat of muffins balanced on top, all while singing cutesy songs to amuse your toddler - it's enough to get your blood pumping.   Add in a tantrum in the checkout line and the realization that your Costco card is gone since you handed your wallet to the <s>screaming beast</a> toddler in your cart, and you've got yourself an aerobic sprint through the store, too.   Laundry, well…when you are washing the comforters for the third time in a week because the flu is back in town, that right there is some serious resistance training.   Ever try to put fitted sheets on a top bunk?  I know you're feeling me on this.

Alas.  Even with all the exciting workouts I manage to squeeze in, it seems I still need to pursue some additional exercise to achieve my weight loss goals.   I've always enjoyed dancing, but finding the time to sneak away for a class is next to impossible.  I love the effects of yoga on my body and my temperament.   I'm eager to find a way to squeeze in a few poses a day, if not more.  That whole mind-body connection thing is blown to smithereens when you've got Dora the Explorer shouting in the other room.   New Age chimes and gongs just don't block that action, no matter how loud you crank 'em.

The diet plan I'm following is really a lifestyle makeover.  In the spirit of that change, I'm going to be taking a look at the building blocks of my day, and hopefully discovering places where I can increase my activity.   

I have to admit that I'm a terrible procrastinator.  Nevertheless, with a little planning, I should be able to add daily walks of two to four miles, just by taking the kids to school on foot.   I also have a nice selection of exercise DVDs and a set of weights, roller blades, a bicycle, a mini-trampoline, a weighted hula-hoop, jump ropes, one of those giant exercise balls, and a full compliment of yoga gear, all in a lovely shade of purple.   I've got no excuses.  Indeed, I'm well prepared for the challenge.  Now it's just a matter of being motivated.

The biggest challenge is having my youngest underfoot.  At three, she's eager to play along with me, but grows bored quickly and wants to ride me like a pony while I stretch.   She fights for control of the exercise ball, and considers the mini-trampoline to be hers alone.  Once, I tried jumping with her in my arms.   We bounced merrily for about thirty seconds before her skull connected with my nose.  Yeah.  That was the end of that.   She's given up naps, and I'm unlikely to find a time during the day that will be uninterrupted.  Any exercising is going to have to include the kids, at least for the next couple of years.

I think the key for me is variety on a daily basis, and finding a way to incorporate more physical activity into my everyday errands and chores.   Rather than making it a work out, I'm going to call it a play break.  I want to try to keep it fresh and fun. 

The first workout (er, play break):  I just spent twenty minutes chasing my toddler, and being chased in return.  We were both growling and lunging and squealing.  As I'm typing, she's butting me with her forehead, eager to continue the game.  "Up, mama!  Up!"  This is great!  It's like having a personal trainer...she doesn't hear excuses, and she doesn't take no for an answer.  This afternoon, I'm walking to pick up the kids, and I'm going to see how far I can get across the monkey bars at the school.  Granted, you may end up reading a news report about some fool woman who dislocated both shoulders while trying to brachiate across a play structure.  In any case, wish me luck!   

Posted by Jenny at 6:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

It had been so long since I'd stepped on a scale that I was honestly not sure what to expect.  I froze before I stepped onto the scale, unsure of whether to take off my jacket and shoes.   The nurse sighed and said, "up you go!" and I took a deep breath and stepped on.  186 blinked at me in red digital letters.   I spluttered and stammered something about the wooden clogs and thick jacket and look!  I forgot to put down my giant purse!  But the nurse had briskly noted the number in my chart and marched off town the hall, motioning for me to follow.  

Before embarking on a new eating and exercise routine, I thought it would be a good idea to get a checkup and find out where I stand, health-wise.   I've heard that weight gain and retention can sometimes be attributed to hormone fluctuations or thyroid issues, and I secretly hoped I had something to blame my size on, other than a robust appetite and flair for sitting still.   I found out from this office visit that I am actually obese.  I'm also increasing my risk of all sorts of nasty things.   I found myself wanting to apologize to the doctor for my lack of control.

Instead, I marched myself down to the lab for some blood work.   After I got the results, I'm happy to say I'm healthy.  No little magic weight-correcting pill for me.  No, I'm going to have to go about this the old fashioned way.   As my doctor put it:  I need to eat less, and exercise more.  Well, duh.

Still, part of this process is undoubtedly relearning some of those things we know; yet do not apply to our own lives.   I decided that a good step in the right direction would be to purchase a functional scale.  After picking the kids up at school, I braved a trip to Target.   

Our Target is currently being renovated, and all the aisles are in weird places.   I wandered around for twenty minutes, with the kids getting progressively squirrelly, and finally found the right spot.  They had two models to choose from, and both were very high tech.   I looked them over for about thirty seconds, and then decided to see what I weighed on each scale.  So I could buy the one that said I was thinner, naturally.   My first-grader spotted an end aisle with animal crackers, and asked for a box.  I waved her on, and kicked off my shoes.   I was peeling off my jacket and setting down my purse when a very fit young man came into the aisle.  He stopped near my cart, in viewing range of the scale.   

My "yeah, I'm a mom, and I need to lose some weight, so bite me" bravado fled, and I sort of rustled around in my cart, pretending to look for something.   The guy began to investigate the scales, too.  Crud.

I finally kicked the scale sort of under the cart, and stepped up, holding onto the side of the basket.   It let off an ear-splitting beep, probably in protest of being forced to support my weight.  I glanced down.  The cart obscured the numbers.  I glanced over at the young guy, and he was smirking, eyes straight ahead on the display.  I tried to wiggle the cart over a little bit to see the numbers.

"Mommy," my son said in a shout. "Mommy!  What does one-seven-nine mean?"   

Okay, then.  I sighed and stepped off the scale.   I had been hoping to learn that the doctor's scale was horribly wrong.  Like the Queen in Snow White, I'd been hoping for a magic mirror to tell me what I wanted to hear.   Instead, I got digital numbers, coldly confirming that it is time to take action. 

As I slipped my shoes on, my youngest held her box of animal crackers aloft and began to shake it, hooting like a monkey.   Broken crackers pelted me as I knelt on the floor, and I leaped to my feet and grabbed the box.  The guy disappeared from the aisle, shaking his head, as I scrambled around on the floor, picking up crackers.   

Finally, with crumb coated knees and sticky fingers, I beat a hasty retreat, leaving the scales behind.   What happened to me?  I felt as awkward as my sixteen-year-old self did when I found myself nauseous in a drugstore checkout line, purchasing maxi-pads and acne cream with a cute boy from school in line right behind me.   After three kids, I can slap a giant box of hemorrhoid wipes (soothing!) and a three-pack of granny panties on the conveyor belt with nary a stomach flutter.   Why did I freak out when I thought some random stranger would overhear The Number? 

That's when I decided that I needed to blog this journey.   I need to be open, and accountable.  I need to lose the shame, and focus on the goals at hand.  I've had my moment of truth – now it's time to get started.   

Posted by Jenny at 6:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)

Last spring, I found myself contemplating wearing my super-cute maternity swimsuit and fibbing about being three months pregnant rather than brave the mall fitting room for the annual festival of self-loathing known as swimsuit shopping.   Even though my youngest child was over two, my body was stubbornly holding onto the weight gained over not one, but three pregnancies in five years.    I knew that it was time for me to think about a diet.  So I thought about it.  I decided that I would naturally lose the weight over summer, what with the hotter weather and three active children and all.   

Despite my optimism, I spent the summer avoiding the pool at all costs, and feeling generally uncomfortable.   This year, I decided to take matters well into hand before I found myself crouching poolside in a pair of elastic-waist shorts and a baggy tee.  Did I make weight loss a priority this year?  Did I join the gym and cut out sweets?  Not exactly.

No, I jumped onto the Lands End website, and created a virtual model for myself.   "Aha! I can try swimsuits on virtually!  In my kitchen!"  When I typed in my physical dimensions, and my virtual model appeared, I was stunned.   Actually, stunned doesn't even cover my reaction.  I felt betrayed.  First of all, that woman on my screen was fat – surely I must have mistyped something.   I checked my stats again.  I refreshed the model, and to my surprise, she was still fat.

Well, shoot.  All the mirrors in my house are from the waist up, and I am always careful not to linger.   I'm used to dressing for comfort, and haven't really bought clothes with sizes that include numbers in years.  I raced to the nearest mirror, and scrutinized myself.   My stomach would totally back me up, should I try to pull off the maternity suit.  Don't get me started on my upper arms.   And my butt has a time zone all to itself, people.  Who knew?  Like my virtual model, I am apparently fat.

It sounds ridiculous to say that I didn't realize that I was fat.  I have always had a rounded figure, even at my fighting weight of one hundred twenty pounds.  At just under five feet tall, I seem to gain weight all over, instead of just in my lower half.   I assured myself that I was still proportional, and I assumed all those bad photos were just taken from unflattering angles.  When my scale died shortly after the birth of my youngest, I never replaced it.   I've know that my weight needed some attention, but I didn't realize how much I've gained, how much I've changed. 

After the shock wore off, I turned on some techno music and put my virtual model through the entire line of swimsuits.   Sadly, I discovered that there is not a truly flattering cut for a woman who is carrying fifty extra pounds around.  Fifty pounds is larger than my seven year old!   No wonder I'm not as energetic as I used to be.  It's like I'm walking around with a chimpanzee on my back.  Okay, a fifty-pound chimp is a small one, but still.  I left the site and decided that optimism is only one of the factors I'll need to shed these extra pounds.   Ooh-ooh, ah-ah.

I've been on a few diets here and there, with mixed results.  My family enjoyed pasta and dessert while I choked down another broiled chicken breast and steamed veggies or worse, a frozen, reduced everything entree.   Sure, I may have dropped a few pounds, but I suspect the loss was due to calories burned while seething in resentment.   

For me to be truly successful, I know I will have to make some major lifestyle changes, not only for myself, but also for my entire family.   As a stay-at-home-mom to a first grader, kindergartener and toddler, I want to reinforce good eating habits, and teach them how to make healthy choices.   I want to be a positive role model.  I want our family to play together, and eat together.  Mostly, I don't want to have to choke down diet food while my family gets to eat the good stuff.   

I've decided to follow the eating guidelines provided in The Fat Fallacy, by Will Clower.   This eating style, inspired by the eating habits of the French, appeals to me because it encourages varied meals of healthy foods, with the focus on avoiding packaged foods and artificial ingredients.   I like the sensible, gimmick-free approach to meals, and the added benefit of making mealtime more of a family event, rather than a quick refueling before rushing off to other activities.   I also like the fact that the cover of the book has a pat of butter melting onto an English muffin.  Now that's what I'm talking about.

  With a husband and three kids who prefer boxed macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs in it to all other forms of cuisine, and are hard-pressed to stay at the table through a single course served on melamine plates, I'm not sure how we'll do with the leisurely, multiple-course meals suggested.   I'm looking into installing seat belts on the dining chairs.  In any case, it could make for some rich comedy.   I am looking forward to giving it a go.

Posted by Jenny at 8:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)