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September 23, 2010

You try your best, but sometimes poo happens.

This is a sponsored post from 8th Continent and BlogHer.

BlogHer and 8th Continent asked me to share one of my many mommy-blunder moments in support of their new campaign that celebrates the real soul of motherhood: doing your best every day, and trying not to screw up too much. Can I get an amen?

Read on to hear about one of my hall-of-famers, and then share your own awesometastic parenting blunders in the comments for a chance to win a $100 Visa Gift Card and a 6-month supply of 8th Continent products. Contest has ended! Winner announced soon :)

Ah, motherhood. From the moment you first lay eyes on your child, you are owned, heart and soul. And by owned? I mean PWNED.

There is (pretty much) nothing you won't attempt in order to earn a smile from your little tyrant. You'll find yourself frosting elaborate cupcakes and handcrafting color-coordinated decorations for a birthday party populated by kids who communicate like chimpanzees. You'll spontaneously break out into manic singing and dancing in order to quell a tantrum, no matter who is judging. And believe me, there's judging aplenty for a mom whose best just isn't cutting it that day.

monkeykids003

You will stay up until midnight for a week straight to help create a science project. You will walk the halls in the early morning hours singing lullabies to teething monster children with profanities swapped in as lyrics.

You should get some sort of parenting badge for the first time you catch vomit in your hands.

CrazyGirl009

Yes, for the love of your child, you'd attempt to climb Mt. Everest. The problem is that very few of us are actually equipped to climb Everest. Sure, you can hike up your yoga pants and haul that backpack full of snacks and toys all the way up to the dead zone. Moms know that once you get there, you're likely to realize you forgot an extra pair of big-boy underpants and you'll find yourself gasping for air while improvising a breechcloth with a hair scrunchy and a maxipad.

(For those of you who are trying to picture that particular fashion configuration, I'm sorry. For those of you who've lived it, I salute you.)

I've had some memorable mommy blunder moments over the years, but by far, the most hysterical was when I attempted to take my 18 month-old daughter and newborn son to the zoo:

Shortly after the birth of my second child, I ventured to the zoo for an outing with a friend. All was well until the baby had a diaper blowout of epic proportions, and my 18 month old took off for the playground while I was trying to change his diaper.

Crunch time. Baby with naked, poo-covered butt. Toddler heading for the hills. Stroller with purse and camera and video camera and enough supplies to survive a winter in the arctic plus run a triage unit in a major city hospital, resulting in a heavy load that required two hands to push.

Time's up. What do you do?

With a strangled aaaaaargh! I shouldered my month old son, slimy naked hiney displayed to God and Country, and abandoned the stroller as I sprinted after my fleeing, flapping daughter, who had the indecency to giggle and say "git you!" at me as I was closing in on her. In slow motion, I reached a hand out, and snagged her shoulder. I spun on my heel, long hair swinging in an arc, baby wailing, and toddler protesting. We made it back to the stroller and I held my daughter's torso snugly between my knees while I wrangled the baby in to a clean diaper.

And then I began to laugh and cry at the same time.

That was the transforming moment, when I went from normal woman to Evil Mommy. I'm thinking the time has come for me to design an outfit. Probably would be a good idea to stick with poo-brown, though, to save on dry cleaning.

8th Continent totally gets it - this whole mom gig. If you haven't seen their hilarious videos that feature some not-so-awesome mom moments, you've got to check them out. Here's just one example:

Nice Job, Mom. Indeed.

So, okay - let's hear it. Can you top my son's two-buns salute with bonus fleeing todder? Share your tale below for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card and a 6-month supply of 8th Continent products. Then, go share another tale or eight with my fellow BlogHer Reviewers - you've got 8 chances to win!

Then, submit your amusing parenting faux pas on our 8th Continent Facebook App and join the hundreds of stories from moms just like you. Share it with your friends and vote on your favorites. You could win a room of choice makeover from Home Line Furniture or the grand prize of a complete adventure package from Caravan Tours.

8th Continent is also on Twitter. As am I. Even sometimes when I am supervising homework.

My sweepstakes rules:

  • The sweepstakes runs from September 22, 2010 to September 30, 2010
  • No duplicate comments
  • You may receive an entry by tweeting about and linking to my giveaway, and then sharing the link to your tweet in the comments below.
  • Please note, only two entries per email address will be accepted.
  • Entrants must be 18 years or older, and US-residents
  • See theofficial rules
  • Winners will be selected by random drawing - please make sure leave a valid email address!


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