Halloween Comes Once A Year
But I'll be damned if it doesn't seem like it lasts FOREVER. All the stores are bringing out their displays of tacky ghoulish items, and the catalogs I get by the armload are full of halloween costumes.
I procrastinate on most things, but halloween costumes are something I like to take care of early. Why? Because in my tiny little mind, it is far better to have the costume of your child's dream (and pay full price) than it is to wait until last minute, and end up in a shoving match with another mom over the second-choice costume in the wrong size.
Of course, this is all theoretical. In fact, I regret every year that I didn't wait, as I see the prices fall, and my children manage to change their minds 900 times before the actual holiday anyway.
No, what really happens is this:
"Mommy! I want to be ______________."
Oh, no no no. My kids invariably decide they want to be something that I do not wish them to be. They clearly didn't read the Parental Rights Agreement Memo, where section H reads "The child must conform to the parent's ideal on occasions where costumes are involved."
"Oh, no, sweetie! Lookie what I found in this here catalog of precocious and over-priced clothing! You should be THIS!"
And so begins the clash of the titans. An epic battle of wills, both of us claiming birthright to costume choice.
"Mommy! I am the one wearing the costume! I want to be ____________!!!"
"Honey! I gave birth to you, and you would look so awesome in this one RIGHT HERE!"
"If you like that one so much, Mommy, YOU should wear it."
Gasp! She's right! I should! But it's not in my size. And I'm still not letting her be ______________.
So I did a little search on Mommy-sized costumes. I think this one is close. It's a little different, but subtle.
I see that the Disney catalog actually has princess costumes for adults this year, which is better than last year. Last year you had your choice of Cruella DeVil, the witch from Snow White, the witch from Sleeping Beauty, the seawitch from The Little Mermaid... basically something ugly and evil. Oh! Or you could be a giant teapot. All the better to make your little darling's beauty a sharp contrast to your ugly and evil and shapeless.
Because nothing makes a mom feel attractive like running around in white tights and a giant cloth teapot. Although, hey! It's on sale.
Anyway, I'm exercising restraint this year, and we are going to either put together homemade costumes on the themes they prefer, or we will reuse the renaissance costumes, or something. But I clearly can't force my kid to wear the costume I wish I could have.
Or can I? Muwahahahahaha!
Stay tuned to find out how draconian I can be in my attempts to live through my children...